Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Help Needed

I need to make a decision, tomorrow night I am playing with the LGSO for An Evening of Movies and Musicals, one of my colleagues in the orchestra reckoned that this was going to be "as camp as Christmas" and maybe just as Glam.   This means that I have a decision to make, what to wear we have been asked to wear all black and look smart.   Not for the first time I am reminded how much easier it is for the men, just put on a back shirt and a DJ and there you are.   I don't think that a full evening dress would be appropriate and one of my LBDs is a little too little for the time of year, so I am left with three choices.

 This is quite slinky little sleeveless number with a nice high neck, being sleeveless I think it will need the jacket tomorrow

The next one is longer with nice puff sleeves and a bow at the back, it's a sort of jersey material and feels lovely, not quite such a show stopper though.

The last one is more of a "proper" dress made from a broadcloth with a proper neckline and a zip up the back, again being sleeveless it will require a jacket, and the combination does feel rather glamorous.

I'm sure that in the greater scheme of things what I wear does not really matter much as virtually no body will see me anyway.   However I do need to make a decision before 9:00 a.m. tomorrow as we have a band call at 11:00.

Please let me know what you think, then if I get it wrong I can always share the blame around a bit!

P.S. this was the other potential choice, but I'm not sure that it will work with a jacket

Friday, 29 November 2013

Happy Back Friday

Here in the UK we don't do thanksgiving, we do give thanks, those of us who are Christians do it daily, no what I mean is we do not have a special day on which to give thanks, we do not celebrate a particular occasion when thanks were especially due. Since in a large part it was managing to get away from us for a whole year that was being celebrated that is not entirely surprising.

We are beginning to celebrate Halloween in the US manner, and there is a growing awareness of Thanksgiving, but I was a little dismayed this morning to hear on the radio that retailers were being encouraged to have "Black Friday Sales"    Personally I have more than enough to cope with already with all the "retail opportunities" offered by Christmas, I don't need any more.

On a more cultural note it seems a shame to me that more and more the American culture seems to be becoming more dominant, I enjoy the differences between Nations, and indeed regions.   The down side of the "Global Village" is that all the real Villages, Towns and indeed even Nations are getting increasingly similar.   We find the same store fronts on every High Street, the same companies providing our services, the same restaurant feeding us, and the same companies selling us our coffee. While I am sure that this may push up quality and keep down prices I like the independent local store, the local character, accent and food.

Viva la difference

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Busy, Busy, Busy.

I seem to have so much going on at the moment that I have barely a moment to catch my breath and pause for thought.   This last weekend I worked on Saturday before playing in a performance with the local Brass Band, then on the Sunday there was a 5 hour orchestra rehearsal.   As well as my usual work commitments I have concerts coming up on this Saturday and Sunday, then on the 14th and 15th, the 20th and then carols on the 21st and 22nd this also means lots of rehearsals I also have to fit in a haircut on Saturday a visit to the osteopath my support group Christmas dinner and leading a couple of home group meetings.   In theory I should be looking forward too Christmas if only for a rest.

In actuality I can't say I a looking forward too it this year.   It is often said that Christmas is a time for families and this year I will not be able to spend Christmas itself with any of my family.   All y friends have family that they will be spending the day with so it is looking like it will be a day in front of the tele possibly with a bottle of brandy.   In the mean time though I do have looks to look forward to.

On Sunday the LGSO will be playing in a performance of music from the Movies and Musicals at the Apollo Victoria, not sure that is really quite "my thing" but the soloists a great the choir spot on and of course the orchestra is always fun.   It has been observed that as an orchestra this will be the "Campest" thing that we have ever done.   This makes me realise that even after nearly a year in this orchestra I still don't fully understand all the culture, and especially "Camp".   I may not understand camp but I do understand glamour and I fully intend to do my bit in that department.   Nothing too OTT just a LBD heels and a bit of sparkle.

Before all that though I do need to find some time to go shopping to get some new tights and play a load of Christmas music in Biggin Hill, a bit different!

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Weapons of music distruction

It's not because I nothing has been happening that I've not been around much recently, rather it's because I've been very busy with one thing and another.   Lots going on on the music front not so much that is directly trans related, although watch out ladies, Paula's got a new dress for the CTG Christmas Dinner.

In the mean time I just felt I had to share this, especially for my friends Chris and Sue

Sunday, 24 November 2013

Photo finish

Sorry, I've not been around on the old interweb for a couple of days, what can I say I do have a life outside of the web as well.   Sometimes it's not such a great life at others it can be wonderful and I have had a little of both very recently.   Thursday morning I woke up to the sound of rain drumming against my bedroom window, just from the sound of it I knew that I would not be working that day, adding that to my already pretty low mood, I ended up not even managing to get out of bed till the afternoon.   I managed to get up and out in the afternoon and started to feel a bit better in time to go to my daughters school for a parents evening.

By total contrast Friday broke bright and I managed to get a great deal done ~ I always feel better if I can get outdoors for at least some of the day ~ if I can get started I will generally be OK but sometimes the problem lies in getting started.   Recognising this I have booked appointments for every morning next week, knowing that someone is waiting for me should get me going.   Friday evening I went up to town to visit the National Portrait Gallery.  

I wanted to see the Taylor Wessing Photo Portrait of The Year exhibition and was not disappointed.    I went with my daughter and we were both really impressed with some of the photos, but not necessarily the same ones, or indeed the prize winners.   In the age of digital photography anyone can take lots and lots of pictures and simply by the number taken there should be some decent ones, exhibitions like this one show that there is still a place for the skilled creative trained professional.

I would love to share some of the pictures with you all, but copyright restrictions quite rightly apply so I can only recommend you go and see the exhibition for yourselves, if you can't follow the link above and you can see most of the on the National Portrait Gallery web site.

Just to make my point I have put up a couple of pictures, a selfy and a professional portrait by Justin David, I'm sure you can tell which is which.

Friday, 22 November 2013


"I wear a miniskirt - so what?"

"A Colombian nightclub owner has suggested a woman allegedly raped outside his club may have invited the attack by wearing a miniskirt.
Andres Jaramillo has since apologised for his remarks, but not before women's rights groups took to social media to vent their fury.
They asked supporters to post pictures of themselves in miniskirts under the umbrella hashtag "#Yomepongounaminifaldayque" - "I wear a miniskirt - so what?" 
From the BBC web site
This is a serious protest against unacceptable views, it seems unfair that this is not bigger news.   Nobody should be subject to crime - of whatever type - just because of how they choose to dress.   I had t work at my admin the other day because of teh weather so I decided to show my support while I worked.

Thursday, 21 November 2013

A little bit of Donahue

Over at the "Condo" Cyrsti has posted an old Donahue video with group of Cross Dressers the subject of questions, of course being British I didn't get a chance to see this at the time but it is interesting to see how much some things have changed, and in other ways how little.    Public attitudes are now a lot more liberal and accepting (in my experience) but understanding is still very limited.    I know when I come out there is often an immediate assumption that is related to sexuality, or that it is a lifestyle choice.   We need these public affirmations to help people understand who we are.

Now by modern standards the quality of the film is very poor, but it did take me a while to realise that two of these women were not cross dressers, but one a wife and anther a Doctor there as an "expert", maybe part of my confusion was down to the rather "over the top" styles of the day.   This is well worth watching, even if some of the comments and the constant use of the male pronouns will grate a bit, there are a few comments that are most affirming.

Maybe it's time that we did something like this here in the UK, I've just been watching loose women, do you think they'd have me on a a guest?

One thing that struck me as remaining very much the same was assertion that being out, being honest with myself about this has taken away the guilt.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Tuba carols at St Pauls

You have to have very keen eyes t spot me in this one, but I was there.   Anyone know when this year's event is going to be?

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

I Got It Wrong

Men Behaving Badly
Something you will rarely see in the main line press, yes I have an errata to admit to,, very silly mistake really but still all such things are best admitted to and corrected.   Yesterday I mentioned an event I went and called it "Men Behaving Badly" to should have read "Men Behaving Boldly" this does of course totally change the meaning.

Treading Boldly

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Feeling a little Blue

"I woke up this morning feeling rather blue, it's not all that surprising I'm an ancient Briton you see."   There is a special Tufty Badge surprise winners present for anyone who gets that one!

I actually woke up not feeling very good, on a friend's sofa coughing with the cold I've caught and feeling the twin effects of too much booze and an unwise curry.   Having said all that it was a good night, the second one in succession.   Friday night I went up to the South Bank with my daughter and enjoyed an evening looking around at the different stalls in the Christmas Market and having dinner at Wagamama's.   These outings with my daughter are very much the highlight of my week, and this one was extra fun.   We liked what we saw so much that we will be going back in a couple of weeks to buy our Christmas presents, I will confess there were some earrings I rather fancy for myself as well, but I do need to exercise some self control.

Yesterday was a much odder day, I spent most of it at our Church at an all day Men's Conference, called "Men Behaving Badly", at ties I did feel a little out of place, but the one comment I will relate to you here is one from one of our leaders who said The Church has been trying to turn us men into Women" I just thought to myself "Well in my case I wish they would try a it harder".   However it was a good day, in principle I am slightly against the idea of splitting up across the gender divide, I feel that we should just be people, or in the case of the Church Christians.   However from my unique view point ~ I have attended both a men's and a women's conference, not because of my gender confusion, no but because a couple of years ago we had no women who could operate our sound desk, so I was appointed an honorary woman for the day and sat in on all the sessions ~ I have noticed that both the men and the women will talk more freely about some really important stuff when they are away from the "other side"

After this "Conference" I popped over to see my friend B, and as I have already observed we over indulged a bit, this was never our intention, it was just that "as they say" one thing led to another.   We had just intended to have a couple of quick pints but we when we got to the pub we found that they were having a "Cocktail" evening, so after our couple of pints we reacquainted ourselves with Kir Royal, and after a few of those I stood no chance of driving home so I ended up with a take away curry and a night on the sofa.

Thursday, 14 November 2013


A couple of weeks ago I came out to a friend of mine after the band rehearsal, I haven't seen her since as last week she wasn't at the rehearsal, indeed none of my drinking partners were at the rehearsal last week so I was left with the choice of either drinking on my own as "Billy no mates" or going home.   I went home.   This week spoilt for for choice, three of my friends could come to the pub after rehearsal; two I am out to one not yet, I will but I want to talk to him and his wife at the same time.

As we were walking into the pub my friend "C" passed me a little package, "a little gift for your other self" not to be opened in the pub, and wrapped in pink paper.   I just about managed to restrain myself and resisted the temptation to peep until I got home.   Ripping the paper asunder I discovered a lovely pair of sparkly drop earrings.    My first proper earrings, and indeed my first proper gift as Paula.

To say I am chuffed is something of an understatement I value the gift way beyond the value of the item.   That she thought of me when seeing them, and then bought them for me as a gift I think is a good sign for the future.   As my friend does not work full time, I forecast lunches!

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

All Change

The other day a friend of mine posted this comment on Facebook 

Don't worry about the people close to you who are changing; change is the natural and healthy response to experiencing a rich and varied life.

Worry instead about the people around you who never change. They're the ones with the problem.

Which sort of got me thinking about change, we all change, or should, it's part of the maturing process.   I certainly have very different opinions to those I had 10, 20, or 30 years ago, it's called growing up.

Listening to the News Quiz on radio 4 at the weekend, one of the guests commented that she had a Theology degree, and how she used to be a fundamentalist evangelical Christian  but that nothing knocks that out of you like studying theology.    Of course this got a laugh, but it is true, I have studied theology, albeit not to degree level, and a serious dispassionate academic study will certainly knock the edges off any fundamentalism.   It will also knock the edges off intolerance, bigotry, and certainty.   At least in certainty that your own opinion is always right.

I think it is a shame that we can't oblige all Church leaders to actually study theology, Anglican Methodist and Roman Catholic ministers have to, I'm not so sure about some other denominations, certainly there is no restriction on setting up your own Church calling yourself Reverend (or even Bishop) and preaching from your own biased and prejudiced point of view.

That is the situation of many of the new churches that are springing up all over the UK as they have done for many years in the US, it is often these unqualified self appointed Church leaders who spout the hate that is such a problem for many who are different, who don't conform with the preachers idea of normal.   Any serious study of the Bible will show internal contradictions, passages that are difficult to understand in the light of Jesus' teachings, when we read the Bible we need too ask ourselves the questions, Why is this in the Bible? What does it tell me about God? What does God's want to tell me through this passage now? 

There is only one real fundamental of Christianity, sure there is the Trinity, and Resurrection and redemption, but everything flows from Love.   That is the fundamental, so when I hear preaching that doesn't sit comfortably with what I think I know, I ask myself first how does this show love?

But now I' going out so I have to change.

Monday, 11 November 2013

Mum's the Word

Hannah has been musing on family similarities, how she looks like her sisters when dressed, but her father at other times.   I have always been told that I resemble my Mother, I have been used to the idea but could never really see it myself, but then the other night in the pub after rehearsal I just caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, and my first thought was "Blimmey that woman looks like Mum".   I soon realised that it was my reflection I had seen rather than another woman, but it did unsettle me a bit.

I have noticed a few times recently that even without any make up when I look in the mirror I see the female me looking back, today without any makeup or jewellery apart from my wedding ring and sleepers in my ears I was a little disconcerted as I pondered the incongruity of looking in the mirror at a woman shaving her face.

I wonder if this is because I am currently spending so much dressed indeed most of my spare time, I wonder if I should limit myself to maybe a couple of evenings or something.   But that is a thought that can wait as this week I am out on Monday night (tonight) rehearsal, Tuesday night meeting, Wednesday night rehearsal, Friday night family and all day Saturday (Church Men's day if you will!) in situations where I have to (or at very least should) go as him.   So it looks as though I will be in drab now until Sunday afternoon, this will either be a strain or liberating, lets see.

Rugby, Rant, and Rain

Well that was a thoroughly exhausting but rather good weekend.   Although my personal level of activity was a bit lower than planed thanks to not being able to work in the rain on Saturday morning, I enjoyed Saturday night's meeting and Sunday night's rehearsal.   I also enjoyed watching the Autumn Internationals on the TV.   Wales against South Africa and England against Argentina.

Wales were very good but South Africa were immense, it was a bruising physical encounter with few glimpses of any magic apart from one scintillating try from a Brian Habana break, but for those of us who enjoy the physicality of the game there were some good battles "up front"   As for the England game I only get to see highlights but that seems to mean the first half.   If England do manage to play a whole game they could be awesome, but the are yet to be the finished article.   But none of this is what concerns me here, you can get much more erudite commentary and opinion on the quality of the rugby elsewhere, what concerns me is that while browsing through the BBC's rugby website I find that England Ladies beat France 40 - 20 now that sounds like a game worth watching, but of course we weren't allowed the opportunity.    The only two games that the BBC showed were the England and the Welsh matches.    I would have liked to see Scotland and Ireland play as well as the ladies, these are major international matches surely the BBC can find somewhere in the schedules of 4 TV channels to let us see at least some highlights of all these matches.

A little late but that is my Weekend Wobbly

In the meantime I am beginning to feel a bit Hagar

Sunday, 10 November 2013

Morning Routine

I like to start each day by looking at some cartoons on line, well actually I like to start each day with a glass of orange juice, and then some tea, but when I've got my tea and switched on Radio 4 to listen to the Today Program then I fire up the laptop and look at the cartoons.   There is usually something good, sometime one sometimes two or three interesting observations occasionally a good chuckle, rarely a I disappointed.   This morning when I eventually emerged from my pit, having made the mistake of having a couple of whiskies while trying to watch the Rugby I recorded yesterday when I got home from the pub, I found I was out of Orange Juice so had to resort to coffee before checking up on my regular cartoons.   They seemed to be all pointing out some eternal truths, first the Wizard of Id, sometimes I wonder if this how others see my transforations

Next I find Luann making an observation on married life that reflects my own situation, I think a lot of our problems that we both wanted to be married, but we both wanted different things from our marriage, I suspect that can be the case with lots of couples,
Last night was my support group meeting, being my usual pillar of indecision I managed to narrow my clothing choices down to two outfits I was either going to wear skinny jeans and a sweater or leggings and a tunic, so which did I finally choose? My favourite mauve skater dress of course.

Doctor Lee
But I have definitely decided tonight I will be going to my rehearsal as Dr Lee from Skin Horse


Saturday, 9 November 2013

Every Month

Today is the second Saturday of the month and I am faced with the same problem I have at this time every month, what to wear to tonight's group meeting.   I am quite sure that the other girls are A/ having the same problem, and B/ not too worried about what conclusion I come to.   I am sure that we all want to present ourselves as well as we can, there is no point scoring, rivalries or anything like that, it's more a question of respect for each other, and making the most of what for some is a rare opportunity.
Not these boots!

My original plan for today was to work this morning before having a relaxing afternoon in front of the tele before getting ready for the evening.   But once again the weather has intervened, it is raining, I am more or less up to date with the housework, I have already prepared my evening meal, it just needs to be popped into the oven, I have cleaned the hop and done all the washing up, the washing machine is currently engaged on it's first load of washing.   Amongst many other things this means that my choice of outfit tonight will not be influenced y what is clean as that covers pretty much everything.   I also start to think about what I have worn to these meetings before, I don't want to make too many repeats.

Since it is getting colder at night I shall have to take that into account, and currently favour wearing my new boots, so either skinny jeans and a sweater or leggings and a tunic, I think which ever I don't wear tonight I will probably wear tomorrow to my rehearsal.

I wonder do others go through this level of indecision? is the clothes dilemma more pronounced with cross dressers than with genetic girls? is it a sign of the importance that clothes play in our lives

Friday, 8 November 2013

Leafing through

As I was noisily clearing up loads of wet leaves this morning I was reminded of the contrast with one of my heroes, Joseph Paxton.   I remember as a youngster being highly impressed by the story of a visit by Queen Victoria to Chatsworth, Paxton was determined that the young Queen should see the gardens at their very best despite the tie of year meaning fallen leaves everywhere.

Of course there were no leave blowers then just teams of gardeners, and under gardeners with besoms.   Besoms are still the best way too clear up leaves but they are a lot of hard work and since the success of the Harry Potter movies ridiculously expense.   So teams of gardeners were unleashed, but Paxton didn't want the queen to be confronted by lots of rough gardeners on her walk, so they had to sweep up before she got out of bed.   As a stickler for details Paxton now worried about disturbing the Queen's sleep, so he arranged for loads of extra large socks to be knitted for the gardeners to put on over their boots to muffle the noise they might make walking on the paths.

These days it is more likely to be the case that the gardener will be wearing ear defenders while using a two stroke blower, and tough luck to anyone else around.

It seems that a large portion of my work at the moment is clearing up leaves, and although I do know that a besom or a rake does a better job, the blower is just less effort and faster, maybe that is a metaphor for modern life.

Thursday, 7 November 2013


Joe asked why I was surprised by this photo, well I suppose the first reason is to find that it was taken so long ago.   Although  I have not looked at it for a while the day is so fresh in my memory that it seems as though it could have been this summer.   It was a bit of a breakthrough day for Paula I went up to town to the V & A to an exhibition and met an on-line friend for tea.   Not that incredible but it was my first time on public transport and the first time that I met and seriously interacted with anybody socially as Paula.

This friend is of a quite philosophical turn of mind, but still with a well developed sense of humour, unfortunately I knew them through the forum that I felt obliged to leave so have lost touch.   But the lessons of that day have stayed with me, that most people don't care who I am or how I am dressed, and even more won't notice (I know that it is difficult to have more than most but I see these two groups overlapping).    Almost everybody at an exhibition, concert or play are more interested in the exhibition, concert or play than they are in the other people there.   In a major urban multicultural environment there are worse things to worry about than a cross dresser.   In short that it is perfectly safe to go out as long as I follow the rules that any sensible woman would follow.

The other surprise is for a photo that seems so recent I was surprised how "my look" has progressed.   I am so much happier now I have decided to abandon wigs.   I know I am lucky to have enough hair and the social and work freedom to let it grow, but I can see a certain self consciousness in photos from then, some of which I am sure comes from a certain insecurity that comes from the wig.   I no longer have the grey one from that photo (or an horrendous brown curly one, that was so bad I will never share any photos of me wearing that!) but I do still have my blond one and  think there is a brown one knocking around at the back of the cupboard somewhere.   There is much about Paula that is false so I like to hang on to the real bits that I can.

My wedding ring, is real, pretty much all my other jewellery is cheap costume stuff, I use padding to help my figure, make up to help my face, at least now I can have my own hair!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Not very Social

I have now been running this Blog since August 2011 (I just looked back and was a little surprised by the photo from that first post) during that time I know I have built up a loyal readership ~ thank you, you know who you are.   My Blogger stats often show that I am getting over 200 hits a day, which is nice, I also get some information about where the views are coming from, I get a lot from T-Central, and the blogs I follow and comment on (there is a list on the right).   This has all been pretty much the same for some time.

Recently I have ventured into the world of "Social Media" at least in part as a bit of self publicity.   I am on Google Plus and Facebook, and all my posts now go on both of these.   Although I have noticed a small increase in pageviews since using them, as there is nothing from either on my "traffic Sources" I wonder if they show up at all.

What I am aware of is that most of what I see on Google Plus is just photos being re-posted I sort of understand Facebook, but somehow I just don't get G+ so if you are part of my circles on G+ and you only see my blog posts coming up it's not because I don't like I just can't get my brain around how it all works.

Of course a lot of what is on both of these is rubbish but every now and then a real gem turns up

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

One in a Hundred?

I know that it is notoriously difficult to come up with any sort of reliable statistics on cross dressing, transgender or indeed any form of gender confusion.   I have heard all sorts of numbers bandied about most of them based on very little research, the most frequent is that one in a hundred people are or have to some extent cross dressed.   My first thought is that it is far to round a number to be accurate but it is s often quoted that I must give it some credence.   Now given that I am very rarely in any sort of randomly selected group of substantially more than one hundred I generally tend to assume that I am the one.   I know it's not that simple and I do now know that at least one former member of a band I used to play in has transitioned, at great personal and emotional cost.

Last night a strange little conversation reminded me of an equally strange little event any, many years ago, one I had just about forgotten.   Our conductor at the LGSO is a very nice chap, very friendly as well as being an excellent musician, I can think of many nice things to say about him, but words like slight, slim, lithe are not amongst them, so last night when I saw him wearing a rugby jersey with the number 10 on it I questioned the validity of the number.   Challenged he did admit that in the days when he did play he was actually prop, in return I admitted that I had been as well, and that was more or less the end of the subject.

I was however reminded of a fancy dress party we had at my own Rugby Club many years ago, as I remember it the theme was something as classy as "Vicars and Tarts" as in those days and in that social situation I was still deeply in the closet, I went as a vicar.   Most of the guys and girls there conformed with the expected dress options but there was one guy who went the "Tart" route.   At the time he was our first team fly half I have since lost touch with him, but I do remember thinking that he was perhaps a little too good.    He had certainly gone to greater lengths than would have been necessary for a one evening fancy dress, yes his legs were shaved and in hind sight it was a pretty good quality wig.   Knowing what I know now I would have checked his eyebrows ~ that's a guaranteed give away.

I wonder if this was something that more of us felt comfortable talking about and admitting then how many others we would find share our interest.

Monday, 4 November 2013


"European style" is not really a description I understand, from Britain we tend to think of Europe as the big lump of land on the other side of the Channel, but it does not really have a coherent style.   French, Italian, German, Spanish they all have style, but I would generally say pretty different styles if you then throw in us Brits then it gets even more confusing.

All this means that I have been a little puzzled to see "European Style" applied to panties.   Over at He Wears Panties all of these have been described that way yet still I don't know what it means.

A quick Google search seems to show that the only people who use this description are non European, many companies seem to use the term to describe the more decorative end of the market, one manufacturer calls their skimpiest most brazen items European, another applies it to their classier more expensive items made from the better cloth.

Of course this is all from the point of view of a Brit, but interestingly a similar search for "American Panties" comes up with almost exclusively American Apparel and American Eagle brands.   I am not aware of anyone in the UK selling American Style panties, yet we do have an enormous range of Brazilian briefs available.

And of course we should never forget French Knickers, maybe it's just that we like to associate these most intimate of garments with places we think of as exotic, after all Birmingham Bloomers doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it?

A Perfect Start?

I have just been watching(for the second time) highlights of England's defeat of Australia at Twickenham yesterday.   I just can't get enough of England beating Australia, there is always a special glee to beating Australia, whether it's at Rugby or Cricket (the only two team sports worth playing) and I hope to enjoy more victories over Australia as our Cricketers get on with the Ashes tour down in the Southern Hemisphere.   Every Australian I have met I have liked, but when it comes to sport they are the enemy.  The only thing that compares with beating the Australians is beating the French.

At the end of the game I noticed that flashed up on one of the score boards was the message "The Perfect Start" well it was good to win but I think it was a long way from perfect.   A lot of the individual performances were below par, Ashton did very little and what he did do wasn't very good, Wilson scrimmaged well when he came on, but seems out of his depth with the rest of his game at this level. The front five did very well destroying the Australian scrum a few times, but against Argentinian and especially the All Blacks I fear it may be a different matter.   I worry a little there is no English forward who the opposition fear playing, when England have done well they have had Johnson, Dooley, Probyn, or Leonard players who made the opposition's' blood run cold with fear, there is no one who does that now, I say bring on the big beasts.

I know many of you aren't into Rugby so I will limit myself, it was the "Perfect Start" that struck me, well in many ways I think I had the perfect start this morning.   Resisting the temptation to go out drinking last night I had a quite evening, after work I went grocery shopping, then had a nice dinner and an early night, by my own recent standards that is.   So this morning I woke up feeling quite good, at a sensible time, giving me time to have a nice leisurely breakfast with lots of fresh coffee, a nice shower and get dressed without rushing and a walk to Church through the park enjoying the sunshine.

It is nice to wake up when the sun is up and not be rushed, it is also nice to wake up wearing a satin nightie.   It is nice to not have to worry about taking turns in the bathroom, not having to wait for others or worry about their breakfast habits but to have what I want, it's not so nice to be alone.

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Everyone Needs a Little Fun Sometimes

Sometimes life can be a funny old thing.   Earlier in the week I was struggling with depression, I would wake up in the morning and have to force myself to get out of bed, starting work would be a real battle of will.   Once I would get started I was fine, but getting to that starting point..... Then I would get home, wash and change and even knowing I needed to go shopping I just couldn't be bothered to do it.

Then I just sort of felt a bit better, no idea why as Thursday evening I went out to a meeting about organising ext year's IDAHO event in Croydon.   The weather had been inclement so I was at home anyway, I wore a nice grey M & S knitted dress with moderate heels and a classic Windsmore overcoat.   A very classic elegant slightly informal outfit for a middle aged woman going to a meeting.   The meeting went, we did manage a couple of decisions and agreed t put off some others until nearer the date.   I have to say that it is nice to be involved in this, party because Paula needs have a complete life, not just fun, and part because it is always good to include the T in LGBT.

Feeling better I popped into a hostelry on my way to the bus stop for a quick half, only to be addressed as Sir by the manager.   Once again feeling a bit deflated I was home before nine.   This was the night of Halloween I think I saw two people in costume and no trick or treaters.   But then neither have I seen anyone doing penny for the Guy.   Since then I have been very busy sorting out fences and feeling much better, so note to self keep busy, go out, have fun.