Advent Calendar IIXX

 

I'm still working from my tablet as my WiFi is still out of commission. Last night I was watching TV, and it suddenly hit me that my TV runs through my internet! If I have a connection to the TV by lan cable then it must be the router, I tried turning it off and then on again, I tried using the reset button, still nothing, no land line, and no WiFi (and I don't have another cable to hand! I think it's time I contacted Vodafone!

Well despite my usual hate for on line "chat" text systems I have just spent about 45 minutes with Vodafone trying to sort out my problem, and after having my router reconfigured and pressing more buttons that I hadn't even found before I now have Wifi and am back on my laptop! The land line isn't working but since it's only one of my brothers and scammers who ever use it I'm not overly bothered just now. I love technology when it works, but these days I find I am often simply left behind. Not having worked for anyone else for the last twenty years I have not had the advantage of an IT department, and for the last ten years or so I have lived on my own as well, so the wisdom of my wife and daughter have also been missing. I suspect that in many ways I am very out of date, but to be honest I am increasing less and less concerned about that.

Today I have been feeling much better, my neck is nowhere near as stiff, and I am a bit more mobile. My rib still hurts, especially if I do something unwise, but as long as I take some pain killers I seem to be functioning much more. I have a quiz night to attend, so I think I'd better have a shower and get dressed ~ which is more than I managed yesterday!

Advent Calendar III

 

What can I say, last night was fabulous! The setting is wonderful, the company was fun and glittering, the wines excellent, and surprisingly for this type of event the food was good as well! 

A nice setting for dinner!

The occasion was a City of London Livery Company, a proper white tie banquet in the Egyptian room in the Mansion House (the official residence of the Lord Mayor of London). The Lord Mayor himself was not present as he had another pressing engagement round the corner at the Guildhall with the Prime Minister. 

We did have speeches from the retiring Master and the new Master (a bit like Doctor Who they get a new Master every year), and from the guest of honour, not me, but Dame Mary Berry! Since this is the Worshipful Company of Bakers I couldn't imagine a more appropriate guest!

Although I still have several concerts to go this year, this was by far and away my most glamorous event of the year. In the end I opted for the red dress with gold jewellery and a lovely black shawl to cover my shoulders. I didn't need the shawl for warmth but it definitely stopped me feeling self conscious about my shoulders. I am happy that I didn't let down my host and his other guests, and knowing that I looked OK did wonders for my self confidence and helped with the enjoyment of the evening.

I think that everything else I will be doing this "festive season" calls for all black, so maybe I will still get some more wear out of at least another couple of my other "posh frocks"!

Advent Calendar II

 

Today is the second of December 2024, this evening I am going to a white tie banquet, and as yet (11:00 a.m.) I don't know what I am going to wear. The dress code is "Evening Gowns and Badges" (whatever that means). I am fortunate in as much as that since I am a musician at least I do have Evening Gowns, indeed I have rather more than is probably good for me, the question is which one to wear? I have asked some friends for help and they have been pretty much useless as at the moment the vote is equal between three of my "Posh Frocks" with one other also getting a vote.

It is rather fun to have a reason to dress up, get out my jewellery and put on a bit of a show, although just at the moment I'm not taking quite as much joy in it as I might, largely because I know I am over weight, and am feeling a bit porky. I am finally trying to do something about that, I have been going to the gym regularly, and I am aware that I feel a bit better for it, but I didn't start early enough for it to have had any serious impact yet.

I have managed to narrow it down to these four, I do have other "Posh Frocks" but they are either too summery, or show too much back and shoulders, displaying a bit too much of the old tight head prop in me.

I will have to decide soon, if only so I can "do" my nails in the appropriate colour!

While it is very rare for me to go to anything like this, it is not quite so rare for me to have to wear a gown, one of the advantages of being an orchestral musician! Each of these (and my others) were bought for a specific concert, I have just held on to them all in the hope of getting another opportunity to wear them, indeed one of the black velvet dresses will be worn again next weekend for the LGSO Christmas Concert. 

In the course of trying to make this decision, and write this post I have also managed to find out how the timer on my new camera works!

Long and rambling reflections

Just another middle aged woman

Although I now live my life simply as just another middle aged, middle class woman I still occasionally read a few cross dresser blogs, it keeps me grounded in my past, just as I keep a little plastic model dustman on my desk to remind me that my life has not always been as comfortable as it is now. A couple of recent posts on Femulate have had me pondering on the difference between trans women and cross dressers, what it is that that separates those who are happy to have an occasional outlet from those of us who need to transition? For decades I identified as a cross dresser, indeed I might well even have described myself as a "plain vanilla cross dresser". Ever since I first heard about anyone transitioning (probably April Ashley ) or much later when BBC aired the series "A Change of Sex" my attitude was very much along the lines of "Well, that's alright for them, but it's not for the likes of me" a feeling that somehow I would be excluded, that transition just wasn't possible for me. Somehow along with the general aura of societal disapproval I had an idea that since I wasn't gay, and was a "big lad" I was condemned to live my life in the gender assigned at birth. My outlet was to cross dress.

A Typical Cross Dresser

I struggle to remember a time before, but I probably started cross dressing in small ways when I was around 10/11, but until I was in my late forties it was always my "dirty little secret", again the messages I was getting from all over were always of vague general disapproval, and how could I reconcile my desire to be feminine with my joy in playing rugby, riding motorbikes and what could only be described as a healthy interest in women! 

It wasn't until I was around fifty that I actually started to go out at all.

Now I find reading the blogs from cross dressers very interesting, mostly they seem very contented with their lot, they enjoy their time out, relieve the stress of modern male life, enjoy the clothes, the attention (or lack of it), have a very pleasant time, then go home and get changed. Indeed it was reading here about how others feel after an outing that has prompted this post! Those who commented all agreed that afterwards they felt better, relaxed, and would be feeling positive and looking forward to their next outing.  This is very interesting, and I feel in some ways shows the difference between cross dressers and those of us who transition, While I remember the elation of being out and of experiencing the World as a woman, and indeed having the World experience me as a woman my feelings when I had to go back to DRAB were very different. I was always sad afterwards, I used to talk about "putting Paula back in her box" but the overwhelming emotion was one of bereavement. Not so much looking forward to the next opportunity to dress up and go out as much as mourning that these were only ever snatched moments.

I have often reflected on my need for the World to experience me as a woman, the acceptance, the vindication, the affirmation, I have also often reflected on how I experienced the World as a Woman, and indeed how these both changed after I went "Full Time", I have rarely reflected on how I felt afterwards, yet I think it was the sadness, the feeling of loss, of bereavement that finally convinced me that I needed to "go fulltime" ~ to transition. I sincerely believe that my decisions were right, even though in the process I did hurt and confuse the people I most loved, I have not experienced that sense of deep personal loss about myself since, and frankly I believe that if I had continued as I was that feeling would have become unendurable. 

There is an old joke that comes around every now and then "What's the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual?" ~ "About three years" on reflection I think maybe it is that for some of us cross dressing is a relief, an occasional outlet or expression of our femininity, for others it is a vital stepping stone towards a new life.

Manchester Gold!

This weekend I will be travelling again ~ I seem to have been doing quite a bit of that recently with a trip to Paris a few weeks ago, then after that a trip up to Lincolnshire to see my good friend P. I don't think I've seen her since she retired and moved. Although I think her husband may have got a bit fed up with our constant natter it did make me realise just how much I had missed our chats and our lunches! It also made me realise just how far I have come over the last few years.

But getting back to my upcoming trip to Manchester, this is a very different type of excursion, I will be traveling with my band ~ Croydon Symphonic Band ~ to play in the finals of the National Concert Band Festival. This will be our tenth appearance at the finals (which are by invitation), of course just being there feels pretty prestigious, but in many ways the level of award says even more. So far we have received (I think) at least six awards at Gold or higher standard, so in some ways getting anything less could be seen as failure! One aspect of being a community band is that we are non-selective, and in the case of CSB whoever turns up plays ~ this means that we rarely have a stable band for even an entire season, the instrumental balance is more down to demographics than musicality, and we never know what standard we are going to be at, all this makes the job of our Musical Director rather challenging and must add to his stress levels. It certainly says a lot for his abilities and his musicality that we have been able to play at such a consistently high standard for so long.

With Big Shiny after playing
at the 2015 finals

As well as a musical challenge the weekend should be a lot of fun. The plan is to travel together by coach, all stay in the same hotel and eat dinner together before some free time to find a suitable local hostelry. Sunday will be devoted to music and the return journey. I'm really looking forward to spending more than a couple of hours with my band friends, it's on trips like these that we build on our relationships, and it's those relationships that make bands work well together.

Another reason why I am so keen to enjoy this trip is that if our Government follow through with the changes to the Equalities Act that were telegraphed last week, and which I wrote about here this could well be my last chance to enjoy this sort of thing legally. Given that the journey is likely to take about 5 hours, there's no way that I could go that long without a "comfort break", these proposed changes would make that unviable, I would be breaking the law if I used the "Ladies" and it wouldn't be safe to use the "Gents". With no guarantee of there being any provision of a gender a neutral facility  I simply would not be able to make the journey.

Then of course I don't know what provisions are made at the hall. Many venues provide separate men's and women's changing rooms, it would be illegal for me to use the women's changing room, instead I would be expected to use the men's ~ fine, unless anyone, including me, needs to use them as a changing room! I would be put in this type of invidious situation every time I left home regardless of having obtained a Gender Recognition Certificate and had Gender Confirmation Surgery!

So, if you haven't already, please sign this petition, with over 130,000 signatures the Government is already obliged to hold a debate, but the more signatures we can get, the more support that can be demonstrated for trans people the better ~ the more we can move trans rights away from being a debate!

Having Too Much Fun!

I see that it was only two posts ago in August that I promised to post every week ~ it looks as though my promises are about as much use as a politician's!

Here in the UK we are faced with an election that nobody wanted, to elect a government that nobody wants (they're all pretty dreadful), made up of politicians that nobody trusts ~ here I shall try to steer clear of political comment, there's plenty of other people to do that. I shall just say that a lot of people who know me a bit think they know where my party political allegiances lie, they're wrong! As of now I have not yet decided which way I shall be voting!

What will be influencing my decision of how to vote will not be based simply on the single big issue facing us, I will be considering what sort of country I want to live in, what sort of a country I want to be leaving for my daughter, and what sort of a country each of the candidates aspires to.

Now for more important things ~ I have been a bit of a social butterfly attending all sorts of glittering events, and drinking lots of cheap prosecco! Maybe one of the reasons I have not been posting much. I was thrilled to be a guest at the inaugural Croydon Arts Ball, celebrating the long awaited reopening of the Fairfield Halls.

I have also of course been playing a lot of music, the photo here is of the Christian Jazz/blues band I play with "Cross the Line". We're always looking for performance opportunities especially in support of local Charities or Churches.

This performance was for St Christopher's Hospice at the Horniman Museum. I rather like the way the photographer framed centering us under the arch of the window

Friends

I see it is a long time since I last posted, I'm rather sorry to say that when I have felt the urge to post I have not been near my computer, and when I have had the time or the proximity I have not had the urge! Possibly more self discipline is needed!

Since spring has definitely now sprung, I find that it is a little easier to lose a little of the weight I have been hoping to shift, work is much more plentiful and I can wear shorts while doing it. All round I am feeling a lot more positive about life the universe and everything. ~ Indeed as I have been known to observe I have no problems that can't be solved with money!

Yesterday I had a rather wonderful if rare experience, I met for the first time a long standing friend!   The wonderful world of blogging is a truly international one, many of my Blogging buddies are from other Countries, Australia, New Zealand, and of course the U.S.A.   This week one of my friends from the States is visiting the UK and we managed to meet up yesterday in central London.

The Banqueting House exterior

Mostly we walked around, talking about London and how it differs from the States, how different is to live in these different places, all mixed in with a bit of feminism and military history ~ we are a diverse bunch aren't we! Sophie wanted to visit Westminster Abbey, but being a Sunday it was closed to tourists. We did have a bit of a wander around outside and a look at the Palace of Westminster, then wandered up Whitehall.

And the inside!

To my shame I had never been inside the Banqueting House, so we stopped there to have a look round, what a stunning place! Well worth the entry fee. This is the only remaining part of the great Tudor and Stuart Palace of Whitehall, and of course the site of the execution of Charles I. I was aware of the execution and of the stunning Rubens' ceiling paintings. I don't think I was aware that this is the first Palladian building in the UK and the template for all those that came afterwards.

I feel that like so many other Londoners I never go into these places because they are just there, they are always there and just part of the furniture. Likewise I haven't been inside Westminster Abbey, or St Paul's at any point on the last 40 years unless I have been playing there.

We did manage a pub lunch in the St Stephen's Tavern and then later a quickie in "Half Way to Heaven", the first time I have been inside this popular Gay / Drag pub in day light!

It's always nice to meet friends, even ones I hadn't met before, Sophie is a lovely, charming lady, exuding all those positive characteristics that American can, I hope that this will not be the only time we meet.

Love, Simon

Last night I was taken to the cinema by a friend I hadn't met before. I know that sounds a bit odd, but in the age of social media it is increasingly possible.   It was really nice to meet in person, and it was a great film. Love Simon is a main stream film, with an important underlying message for it's audience.



I am so pleased to have been asked, but I am also so pleased that in these days it is now possible for a big Hollywood studio to make a mainstream Rom Com to be shown in high street cinemas about young, gay men.   The central theme is about coming out, but it is still very much a Rom Com.  I enjoyed the film, even if it did make me cry a couple of times.   Sure every one in the film is good looking and well off, everyone drives "nice" cars and lives in "nice", big houses, ~ yes it's a Hollywood film!

There were a couple of moments that I felt were just to unrealistic, and maybe too soppy, but then I'm a 60 year old, who's been through the mill a bit. The younger girls and boys in the cinema were actually cheering and clapping the romantic developments, so I think that means that it works!

Conclusions,

• It's good to meet and go out with real people.
• Coming out is now a mainstream issue.
• Young people do care.
• I enjoyed it, go and see it, take your kids, let your kids go with their friends.
• If going to watch this, don't wear mascara

Another opportunity to sell!

So today is Valentine's Day, the florist hasn't arrived yet, and my post has not been full of cards, actually the postie hasn't been yet, and may well not have to.

I am not expecting to receive any card, flowers chocolates or any of that stuff, I just get a little exasperated with the various media, news and social, all the adverts and stuff which put so much pressure on people to be part of a couple. I know that a lot of it is simply so they can sell more product, but none the less it does very much feel like those of us who are single are being excluded.

It does feel as though this is just another commercial opportunity to shift stock that nobody would buy any other time of year, Flowers in February, Chocolates, and of course naughty knickers ~ ahem sorry, I mean lingerie!

I will be going out tonight to see a friend, and I know that tonight is meant to be for romantic couples, for being all lovie and all that, but I also know that we will not be part of that whole couples thing ~ I suspect that now I will probably never again be part of a couple ~ oh well at least I am now me.

Advent Calendar XVII

Last night I went out for a very nice dinner at a local carvery with some good friends, we had a lovely time, with lots to talk about as we hadn't had a chance to get together for a while.   We had such a nice evening that we have decided to make sure we do it more often, so if we haven't met up again by the end of January I give full permission to you all to nag me!

I may have been a little over dressed for the occasion, but hey! it's Christmas, and I was only taking your advise!

Advent Calendar XV

When I am deciding what to write about here I am often inspired by other blogs. Rather than simply relate some of my own experiences I will muse on the things others have stirred in my mind.   Today will be one of those days, over on Stana's Femulate Blog she has a picture of a girl in a red dress with the caption "You haven't done the holidays until you've worn this hue" This may well solve one of my current problems.

Tomorrow night I will be going out to dinner with a couple of my friends, and I am facing the perennial question of what to wear. Until relatively recently I could just look in my wardrobe and select a suitable dress that they hadn't seen me wear before.   This Christmas I am realising that I have very little in the way party frocks that my good friends will not have already seen.   I have several "Cocktail" dresses, in white, black, black and silver, and black and white.   I have evening gowns in Green, Black and Red, I have a variety  of day dresses in a variety of hues, I have suits, sun dresses, trousers and tops. I have far too many clothes many of which can be worn in a variety of combinations.   I enjoy clothes and I enjoy shopping for them, but over the last year I have managed to curb some of my excesses and most of what I have bought comes under the heading of practical.

Maybe this is an opportunity to wear a dress I have had for a few years but don't wear very often, not least because I do feel a little conspicuous when I do wear it. But since it does seem to be the colour for the season I may just give it an airing! ~ What do you think?

This photo goes all the way back to Christmas 2014, looking at it I haven't changed that much in the intervening years, but it does remind me that I need to replenish the colour in my hair, so maybe I will get on and do that now, before I go out tonight for another dinner with another group of friends!

Cabbages and Kings

One day I will learn the art of diary control, just because there is nothing written in the diary for a particular hour does not mean I have nothing to do!

Indeed I should be doing something else as I write this, but I'm sitting at home surrounded by drying laundry while my car battery is charging.   The car has been in and diagnosed, but they won't be able to fit my new alternator until later in the week, so this morning bringing it home it conked out, of course in the most inconvenient place, so now I'm charging the battery up before I can go and bring her home. My own starting problems will just have to be sorted with a combination of making sure I get more sleep, and sheer force of will. Maybe I'd better pop down to the shops and get a bit more will power.

On Saturday it was really good to meet up with an old friend, she was hosting a fireworks party for a few friends and neighbours  ~ a bunch of very nice people any of whom I would be happy to call my friends! We all had a lot of fun, a lot of food and some of us had quite a lot of wine as well.

My friend just introduced me as her friend Paula, and only one of them knew me in a previous life, and all went well.   It was only after the fireworks that some of the conversation got more serious and turned to the LGBT community, Pride and my involvement in both ~ the lady who introduced the topic was not displaying prurient curiosity ~ more natural maternal concern for her children (two of whom are part of our community and indeed came to Croydon Pride this year).   I was a little put out initially as I just wanted to enjoy some company and a glass of wine, but I put aside my irritation and settled into giving my little talk on what Gender Dysphoria means. I'm glad I did, as there were some people there genuinely interested and concerned, and it's my chance to undo some of the damage the Daily Fail does.

After that I was very happy to settle into my friends snug lounge, with just the two of us and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. having been friends for over 40 years we don't really have to worry about the normal niceties and ended up talking about husbands and wives, friends old and new, potential and past partners. Strangely there is only one other person I would stay up with talking like and they are the friend who led to our meeting over forty years ago.   These friendships are precious to me, they have stood the tests of time, of marriages, and of stupidity, and after every thing that has happened we will still talk for hours and share intimacies that I would never with any body else.

My friend's partner got up before we went to bed! I had two gigs on Sunday so had to get some sleep, but I think I might have preferred to have spent Sunday in my PJs slobbing about, rather than playing the Electric Bass, conducting the Brass Band and then having an Orchestral Rehearsal ~ when will I learn!

This and That

Saturday's concert went well, the hall was virtually full, the audience were responsive and though I say it myself we played extraordinarily well.   I have just listened to a "first cut" recording of a small part of it and I have to say that it does sound pretty fab, as soon as I have a recording available I will share it.

St John's Smith Square is a great place to play and since we did fill it we may have a problem looming as to how we fit all of our audience in for our next concert, these are the sort of problems we like to have.

On Sunday I have another concert, this will be with my own band the Croydon Symphonic Band, we will be playing in Dorking for the Vaughan Williams society, for us this is quite a prestigious event and we have struggled to fill one or two vital seats so we will all be quite pleased when we actually get to the point of playing. This is another group that plays in all black, I came up with an idea for something I could wear, but our Alto Sax player wasn't too keen. ~ Although to be honest I don't think I really have the waist line for this.

But of course, before all that I do have another event coming, London Pride, last year I played with the London Gay Symphonic Winds at the front of the parade, this year I will be walking with my own special group of friends from TransPALS.   All this after quite a busy week of work and meetings, although most of the work for Croydon Pridefest is being shouldered by better people than me, as Chair I do have to go to receptions and drink tax payers wine ~ It's a hard life.

At London City Hall for a Mayor's reception with my friend Rebecca

Fear and Loathing; Then and Now

Inspired by a recent post by Hanna, my friend from Minnesota, who posted on her Blog an article about the fear experienced by many cross dressers.  There is an almost universal fear amongst cross dressers that they will be found out, this can lead to all sorts of subterfuge, lots of lying, and on occasion some pretty unsafe behaviour.   The secrecy can lead to snatched moments of release, lone walks in dangerous dark alleys, moments in strange bars inappropriately dressed, lone drives which are fine until the car breaks down or the Police stop you!

Then, the first photo on this Blog back in August 2011

Once I realised the dangers of these sort of outings I quickly stopped, sticking to planed days out with friends or in populous spaces, like galleries, but maybe on days like this when the rain pours down and work would be impossible I might wait until the family had all gone out and then get changed, sneak out the back door and go off on an adventure.   I will admit that the subterfuge was a bit exciting, and truly made these outings adventures, indeed one of the things I did worry about before going "full time" was that in losing that excitement I would lose the whole point.   Mercifully that was not the case.

And now

Of course at first I was still frightened of being caught, indeed I was frightened of being caught not just in my cross dressing, but in everything I did.  I always had the scared feeling at the back of mind that I one day I would be "found out".  Whether it was playing music, chairing meetings, leading Bible studies or whatever, I always had this feeling that somebody would notice I wasn't meant to be doing it! So with the cross dressing I was really insecure.   It was only when I stopped cross dressing and started to transition that I began to find fuller confidence in everything else I did as well.   I still get nervous before I perform, but I no longer worry that I will be "found out", and thrown off the stage as they send for a real musician.

Maybe we should all ask ourselves why we are trying to hide?, what actually would happen if we were more public? would the sky fall in? would we lose our jobs? would we lose our family?
Once I started to be honest about this one thing in my life I stopped fearing everything else, and guess what, I am a much better me, and everybody seems to recognise that.

Getting Out

Well I managed to get through yesterday's performance without getting too wet, we did play outside, and we did have a few drops of precipitation, but not enough to force us inside.   It was a fun job in a lovely setting, and even better there was a tab for the band behind the bar ~ the only trouble was that I had to drive home.

Way back in the dim and distant past I made a pact with myself that I would take at least one day a month off to indulge myself with something cultural.   For many months I would regularly go and visit a gallery, take in a lunch time concert or maybe walk around a special garden ~ like so many of the things that are important I have let this slip, well last week I had the chance to make up for some lost time as I had the opportunity to go to a live performance of Pricilla Queen of the Dessert at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley.   A good friend of mine has started working there and gets the occasional ticket.

It was an am dram production, but you wouldn't have known it from the performances, or the production values, the possible giveaways were that a couple of times some of the blokes in the chorus looked a bit uncomfortable in some of the costumes.   The live show is much more of a musical than the film, and all the performances were excellent, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and actually teared up a couple of times.   I am so grateful to my friend for getting me out and doing this, I will now make sure that I do get to more things where I'm not performing; whether it's concerts, plays, exhibitions or what, I will do it!

A, B, C,....................................

I started writing this post last Sunday, a series of hectic events, and computer problems has meant that I haven't been able to complete it until today, but it is still very relevant.

Those of you who were with me last night may not be surprised to find out that I didn't manage to get an early start this morning.   This meant that I was going to be late for Church, I don't go to Church religiously, but when I can I do like to.   When my wife left and I started my transition I had to change my Church, it took me a little while to find a Church where I was comfortable, and they were comfortable with me.   By some strange co-incidence both Churches are called Christ Church!

Maybe not such a co-incidence since I am an Anglican Evangelical, and Christ Church is a popular name for evangelical Churches in the Church of England.

Christ Church Beckenham

I have been very happy at Christ Church Beckenham, they are a warm, friendly and loving Church family, the building is very fine (although some modernisation of the halls would serve the community better), and there is a drive to build the kingdom of God in Beckenham.   The trouble is that since moving there is a drive for me on Sunday morning!

This morning I wanted to go to Church but when I got to my car I realised that it would take me at least half an hour to get there, meaning I would be around 20 minutes late, I don't like being late, even though I often am, the alternatives were to miss out all together, or to go to my local Parish Church, which just happens to be called.... Christ Church.  

Christ Church Croydon

Unsurprisingly this is an evangelical Church with a membership that reflects the local community, a very different community to Beckenham.   I thoroughly enjoyed the service, although since it was both an "All Age" service, and a Baptism it was not typical.   The preaching seems sound, the people friendly and accepting, and a Worship Team whose enthusiasm maybe outweighs their abilities a little.

I have been thinking for sometime that it was about time that I worship in the community I am living in rather than commute to a nice middle class community.   I am just not sure yet whether I am ready to make this step.   I will not rush into anything but contemplate prayerfully on this, it's not easy.

Christ Church Anerley

It has also made me think, I started at Christ Church Anerley CCA, then I moved to Christ Church Beckenham CCB, and now I'm contemplating a move to Christ Church Croydon CCC. Will my next move be to Dunstable?

This morning I visited CCC again, and was once again impressed by the enthusiasm and friendliness of everyone I met. When I say they reflect the local community I understand they have 26 different nationalities within the congregation, and that is my local community!

PRIDE IV

So far I managed to forget my jacket, forget my paperwork, forget that I don't like discos, and maybe forget my dignity, a little.   So what was Sunday going to bring?

Opening my case and checking the few clothes I brought (I had packed so many shoes there wasn't a lot of room for clothes) I find not a single pair of trousers, just "party wear" and just a single light weight cotton skirt that I had worn on the Saturday.   I had my black LGSO tee shirt which would have been fine, with a pair of jeans or a denim skirt, if I had managed to pack either.   What I did have were a couple of pairs of shorts, one pair black, one pair white.

Forgotten something? like a skirt maybe?

After consulting my style counsellor I ended up with the black shorts a chiffon top and some stripped tights.   Totally inappropriate for day wear, definitely not suitable for Tescos, but then as Rachel pointed out, we were in Brighton.

Apart from Breakfast our only planed event was a Barbecue at the Marlborough.   When we got there we found there had been a bit of a breakdown on the communications front, and that there was no barbecue, but as we had made a good breakfast we were happy to sit out in the sun and enjoy a few beers.

I love these tights, and I am wearing shorts!

Once again it was nice to meet up with some old friends and share a glass or two with my friends.  With the planed Picnic on the Beach having had to be cancelled over the last couple of years due to rain at some point it was decided that this year it would instead be a Barbecue at the Pub, and that was published on the website. Published but not organised.   It was only later that I discovered that some people actually managed a barbecue on the beach.   That might have been fun, but Brighton Beach in those shoes!

I was so glad that I wasn't the one driving, as the combination of sun and beer had their usual effect.   I was delivered home, tired, but happy. After the inevitable snooze on the sofa, I thought I had better stir myself and get some bread and milk in for the morning, but looking in the mirror I thought better of it, I either had to get changed or wait till the morning, I decided to wait.

PRIDE III

Saturday dawned bright and early, since it didn't have a choice, those of us who did have a choice may not have been quite so bright or quite so early.   Although of course some were earlier than others.   After an excellent breakfast courtesy of the Travel Lodge buffet we made our way over to the park to set up the TransPALS stall before getting back to the Marlborough for the start of the March.

Before setting off we were reminded by the wonderful Sarah Savage that this was a Protest March, not a Parade.   I think I may have already made my feelings on this clear, but it does need to be said we still have things to protest about ~ and there were plenty of us there to do it. Despite reports saying that hundreds turned up estimates show that between 1,500 and 2,000 were on the march and that there were over 4,000 distinct visitors to the event in Brunswick Gardens.

There are some things I'm still undecided about though, like, do we really want to be associated with any and every group who feels oppressed? should Stonewall be the prime mover and spokes people for us when until recently they refused to include us?

With my new friend

Still I had a lot of good, interesting conversations with loads of people who came to our stall to chat with the "Booth Babes" it was good to meet friends, old and new, and to promote our organisation. We quickly came up with the description of "Mutual Social Self Support" which I think is the best way I have yet found of justifying meeting friends in a pub and drinking wine.

After the main event, a few of us went for a very pleasant dinner together at the Cafe Rouge before going to the party at Envy.   I quickly realised that this party was just too loud for me so along with my roomy made a strategic withdrawal.   We arrived back at our Hotel at the same time as one of the many hen parties staying there.   The Bride decided that I was a candidate for joining her party....................

PRIDE II

The outfit I ended up with

I ended up being in quite a rush on Friday, as on Thursday evening I had to prepare my van for it's MOT and then get along to a local Pub to meet my wife and hear my daughter at an Open Mic. My daughter sang three numbers, two of her own and one of Amy Winehouse's.   It was a very pleasant evening, enjoying some good music and each other's company.   So come Friday morning I was a lot less prepared for my weekend away than I had hoped, so after washing up and sorting out my laundry I threw a few things into a case and got myself ready.

I had more or less decided that it was time I grew up a bit and wore something sensible, I have a black red and light tan maxi dress which is nice and light weight, soft and floaty.   I have been waiting for an opportunity to wear it and thought that this was it.   I assembled all my bits and pieces, put on my shoes put on the dress and did my make-up, it was only after I had put on the make-up that I checked myself in the mirror and realised that the dress had a split all up the front.   I bought the dress from Avon last year and this was only the second time I had even put it on.   I suspect that the problem is not the stitching but that the turn over is simply inadequate.

Dinner, there was food as well!

My good friend and room mate for the weekend turned up at just about that moment, so I quickly popped on the only other dress I have that would go easily with my make-up and everything else I was wearing, maybe it is a little less modest, but hey! we were going to Brighton!

The journey was pretty uneventful, just the way I like them, and we arrived in time to relax a little a settle into our room before our other friends turned up and we could sort out what we were doing for dinner, before meeting more friends at a local hostelry.

This was the start of a theme for the weekend, realising the things I had forgotten to pack, it was only as we were going out for the evening that I realised I had totally forgotten any type of jacket, cardigan, or umbrella, fortunately the weather stayed warm and dry, so I managed to avoid frostbite!

I CAN FLY!

I Can Fly!

I've been away, my first foreign trip for a while and it was great fun. I was on Tour with the LGSO in Cologne we played one full orchestral concert and some of the orchestra played a chamber concert the following day.   However it does have to be said that the focus of much of the orchestra was as much on the social side as on the musical!

The Best Dressed Tuba in Brussels

In short it was great fun to spend so much time with a bunch of lively young people, some of the time I was even able to keep up with them!

Although I may not have had a lot to play I think I managed to get noticed, not least for the size of my luggage, carting a 4/4 Orchestral CC Tuba across Europe by train is not for the fainthearted!

But it was all worth it to spend so much time with such lovely people.   Just seeing each other for a bit getting refreshments after a rehearsal is not the same as being together for a whole long weekend.   I got to know a lot of nice people a lot better, and that's nice.

I was one of only three women on the trip, but was never allowed to feel left out.