Camera Whore

 Maybe not the title I am most proud of but one I acquired a few years back when my Orchestra took part in the BBC series the Great British Amateur Orchestra. It seemed as though every time a camera appeared it would be pointing at me! and this did not go unnoticed. More recently in my role as a trustee of Croydon Pride I have often been called upon to be a representative of "my community" and on occasion that has involved some photos. I think I have now been the model in at least four photo sessions.

Photo Credit Justin David 2013

I was recently reminded of the first ~ this was way back in the dim and distant past, before I was out, but after I had started playing with the LGSO I wrote a little about it both here and here; but I did not tell the whole tale, perhaps to protect my dignity and maintain some of the mystery.

We were asked to wear our idea of glamourous, this black evening dress fits the bill perfectly. What this photo doesn't show is one of the great features of the dress, it has a scooped backless design that runs into a very small train. Given that this was before I had even started my social transition, never mind anything else it presented certain, erm "structural" issues. Being backless I could not wear a conventional bra, not actually having any boobs I couldn't wear any other form of support. What I could do was attach my breast forms directly to my chest using a medical glue.

All went well until under the warmth of the lights I started to "glow" (Ladies glow, gentlemen perspire, horses sweat!) no problem nothing showed on my face, my makeup stayed just fine. Unfortunately the same couldn't be said for the so called "medical glue"! My left boob became detached and started to slowly descend down the inside of my dress. Poor Justin, the photographer, couldn't understand why I was so wooden, and at that time I was just too shy to tell him.

Later sessions didn't have the same issues I'm glad to say!

The next session was at home with my friend Vanessa Lees, I was part of a photo project she was running showing trans people just getting on with their real lives, rather than as subjects of glamour, desire or abuse.

Photo Credit Vanessa Lees Photography 2015

The Croydonist 2018

A few years after that I had a session for International Women's Day, we had a little outdoor exhibition of photos of women changing the face of Croydon, and this was my face. I rather like this photo, I definitely like the outfit, but I do remember that the photographer (sorry I can't remember their name to credit them) had terrible trouble with reflections from my glasses, so that's why they're on the end of my nose.

It was a very enjoyable experience and I was already so much more relaxed about the whole session than I had been just a few years earlier.

The latest one was just a few months later for Croydon Bid, the local traders association, an outdoor exhibition of local Croydon "Characters", I was alongside dancers, rock guitarists, actors etc. This time I was draping myself in the Pride flag rather than engaging with one of my instruments. I though this photo was just going to be a little thing up for maybe a month or two, it turned out to be larger than life size, and last time I checked it had been up for over two years.

Croydon Bid 2019

Well that went well!

A Tuba

The other day I was walking round to my car, when I heard some nice bass playing coming from one of the houses, I stopped, I listened, I thought. Sounds like a tuba to me! so what are the chances of two proficient tuba players living on the same block? I plucked up my courage and knocked at the door, I young man answered, looked at me quizzically as I tried to explain that I'm not mad, but had heard someone practising. Turns out it wasn't a tuba at all, but an electric bass ~ since I play both you'd think I could tell the difference.

An Electric Bass

A couple of times I have been congratulated on my imitation of an electric on tuba, but never the other way round! My excuse is that somehow the sound felt "organic" rather than electronic, either way he was pretty good.

Starting How I mean to continue

2022 has got to be better than 2021 surely, last year here in the UK we started with a lock down, no communal activities at all, certainly no communal music making, and I really missed it! 

We simply don't know what this year has got in stall for us, so I'm not making any resolutions I might not be able to keep, instead I am giving myself some new year "Graces", I'm going to try to be good to myself.

I know I enjoy a bit of exercise, so I will take some ~ when I can. I will devote some time to friends, I will also devote some time to myself ~ both are important.

I will carry on my work with Croydon Pride, after an hiatus of two years caused by the pandemic we will be back in July 2022, maybe not bigger and better, but still essentially Croydon, still free admission, and still fabulous.

But most of all for me, I want 2022 to be a year of music! I want to play music, I want to listen to music, I want to write music, and I want to support up and coming local talent!

To mark just how I feel about this I started 2022 as I mean to continue, on the first of January I braved the cold and public transport to travel up to London to play for the London New Year's Day Parade (well actually a non parade as it was a static event between The Mall and Pall Mall) to play with the "City of London Brass Band". This was pretty much a scratch band, I don't think I had ever even met any of the others, we had certainly never played together as a band before. There was no rehearsal just straight in and perform, admittedly to a small live audience of a few hundred, but also to a live stream of millions!

This is what I want my music making to be in 2022, fresh, brave, and exciting!

I'm playing my unique EEb tuba "Baby" a vintage Besson New Standard customised to my personal preferences.

I Did It My Way

 I started writing this post way back in January last year (2021) it feels as though not a lot has changed since then, but of course in fact we are in a much better position, a year ago we were locked in, all activities, music, sport, and socialising were all closed down, and worse we couldn't see an end. Now we have vaccines, as a population we are building immunity, we can now look forward to a world where we can live with Covid, and live life as we choose! The 2021 bit is in italics.

 Looking at the heading of this Blog I see the strap line says something about the "Experiences and Adventures" well like everyone else I certainly haven't had too many adventures recently and little in the way of new experiences either. My last few posts have been much more personal musings rather than relating adventures! 

Looking further back I see that I have related quite a lot about my work in gardens, shared a lot of information about concerts, going shopping, holidays, photo shoots, a few jokes, and even trips to the dentist! Certainly a lot has changed, with me and the World at large since I first started up Paula's Place way back in 2011 Back then I was just breaking out of the closet, and it would seem that I was quite obsessed with clothes, and shoes! In those days I was certainly self identifying as a cross dresser, it would be another few years before I fully accepted myself as a transgender woman. Along the way I have shared some of my coming out experiences, 

In all there have been over 1,700 posts (now 1751) , over 650,000 (now over 720,000) page views as I have monitored my transition, my relationships, Paula's Place has been my confidant, an outlet for self expression and of course a way of keeping in contact with friends I can't meet up with; and there we have my main reason for trying to reenergise the Blog, at this time when we simply cannot meet up with friends and family we all have to have other ways of keeping in touch. This is my way!

It has been a strange year, but at least I have actually managed a few adventures, and have certainly had a few experiences. It is both a joy and a source of amazement to me that I can still have new experiences at my age, that there is still so much music I haven't played or heard, so many places I haven't been and so many people I haven't met.

I'm still discovering new ensembles and new instruments ~ my latest project is to write for a Bass Clarinet quartet, and my latest favorite instrument I don't play is the Bass Saxophone

This is "Sexilicious Get The Gas On" by Loud Noises

This is my new favorite band, I love the way the bass sax sits at the bottom driving the whole thing, they are truly excellent, I now want to hear them play live so much I may just have to hire them myself!

Advent Calendar V

Last night we had a rather exciting evening at Croydon Brass Band, we played some different music, and had some interesting conversations over our coffee break.   We're looking at some new and interesting ideas for next year, ideas that I hope will increase the membership of the band and strengthen our bonds with the community we serve.   It's too early to go into any details yet, as we are still very much at the concept stage, but I now have increased hope for the future of the Band and music making in the area!

I'll only be playing in four more musical performances this year, one doing carols with the brass band, one on Saturday with the Linden Wind Orchestra and of course the one with the London Gay Symphony Orchestra.    I will also be playing next Sunday with my Jazz Band, but that's not really a Christmas concert.   This is very few by my standard of recent years, and surprisingly I will not be playing Leroy Anderson's Christmas festival at any of them! Somehow it just doesn't feel like Christmas until I've played it!



Wingates Band (Conductor David Thornton) Play Leroy Anderson's Christmas festival

Typical

A typical Sax Player

The other day I was having a conversation with the Sax player with the Jazz Band I play in, he commented something like, "Now that's my idea of what a Bass Player looks like". At the time I didn't really think about it, but it made me wonder how we get our ideas of how different instrumentalists should look.   Sure some will come from people we know, but others may be from early images we take in.

For many of us those images will be from the Muppets band.
Personally I think these characters were inspired, as they capture so much of the stereotypes of the instrumentalists. I am sure that most of will remember Animal on the drums, Rolf the piano playing dog, Zoot the cool dude on sax and of course the band leader Dr Teeth, but who was the bass player?

Well he was Floyd Pepper the cool guy with the whiskers, Janice played Guitar and sang a bit too.

Suzi!!!!

But I can think of other early images of Bass players, and I'm not at all sure where my image fits in

Emma Hughes, brilliant young bass player, I think I may have played with her at WOW last year

.

What a Weekend?

Billy Twelvetrees

I have just got around to watching the England v France rugby international from yesterday, and all I can say is WOW.   If you don't know what I mean then there really isn't much point in trying to explain.   I am sure that every Rugby fan the world over will still be reeling from yesterday's games.  I think I will have to watch them all again now I know the results and haven't got the emotion to deal with to see if they really were as good as I thought the first time through.

Courtney Lawes

I know that this is not really a sport Blog, and that many of my regular readers may not count Rugby as one of their major interests so I will content myself with the thought that England may not have won the championship, but we do have the best looking players.

As I finally sit down at home at half past nine on Sunday night I can reflect that this weekend I have refelted a shed roof of eighteen square meters; had a discussion with another gardener on charging for waste removal; been out to dinner with a friend; cleared out my van: played a Gig on electric bass with my jazz band; unblocked a drain; done four loads of washing, played at an orchestral rehearsal and almost caught up with the washing up.

The trouble is that next week I have got just as much to do again as i have had this week.   I suspect that if I haven't learnt how to plan my life by now it is to late, ut somehow I have to find a way of doing less, while still doing the things I want to do.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't

Sometimes I miss quite a few days blogging, others I will post something every day, maybe even more often than that!   Sometimes I will not write anything because I have nothing to write about, as life just goes through it's normal boring routine.   Got up went to work came home had dinner, went to bed, type stuff.   But my days are rarely like that, for one thing my work is very rarely the same any day to any other.   I am doing different things in different places for different people, never boring, often challenging and, rarely sufficiently remunerative.   And then my evenings are often occupied by meetings, rehearsals and, performances.

I have not posted for the last few days not because I have been living a boring life with nothing to talk about but quite the opposite.   I have been so busy I have not even had time to read other people blogs never mind trying to write up my own.   Work wise I have been engaged on a little paving job which I am actually rather enjoying, but it is quite tiring.   After work I should have been out at something or another every evening since last Tuesday (the 20th) but then on this last Tuesday (27th) I was so tired that when I got home from work I sat down and fell asleep, not to wake up till after nine O'clock, far too late for the dinner I should have been at.

Bass Face!

Lots of these engagements have been musical ones, I have played Trombone at an evening Orchestra service, and in a concert performance of Verdi's Giovanna d'Arco, Tuba at a rehearsal and Electric Bass at a Church Cabaret, and at St Christopher's Hospice.   I have been to a funeral and I have had breakfast with my brother.

In all these cases it now seems pointless to say that I did this or that as Paula, or "dressed" or "en femme" since that is now me.   What now feels more remarkable, and more unnatural are the odd occasions when I have to go back to being him.   I don't dislike him or regret the man I was (I may well write more on this idea latter), it's just that I am now entering fully into a new stage of my life.