Ladies First

Yesterday was the International Women's Day, it feels odd that over 50% of the World's population need to have a special day to celebrate women, and to highlight the injustices, the prejudice and the inequalities that we have to deal with on an almost daily basis. But we do because we do, we need it because our world is still very far from equal. OK here in the UK it's better than in some other places, but ;~

• The Women's Six Nations Rugby Tournament still lacks a headline sponsor
• We only sent one woman to Brussels as part of our Brexit negotiating team and of the 44 members of the Leave Means Leave Board, only one is a woman, but seven are men named John!
• After the 2017 General Election we now have 208 women MPs, 32% and that's meant to be something to celebrate?
• Women still earn less than men, this means that earn the same amount they have to work for longer, to mark the day when women will hit the equal amount we have "Equal Pay Day" this year that will be on April the 2nd
• There are only 6 women CEOs of FTSE 100 Companies, and they only earn 54% of their male counterparts. There are more men called John heading up these Companies than Women!

I think the only two areas where Women dominate in the UK at the moment are in Monarchs and Prime Ministers! ~ I think most of us will agree that one of them is doing a pretty decent job!

I celebrated by joining colleagues from Diversity Role Models in running some workshops with a School in South East London. This is a largely Girls Performing Arts School so I think all of the pupils we saw were girls, I was impressed by their knowledge, engagement, and potential, quite a few were from faith backgrounds and I was very happy to be able to respond to them from a similar point of few.

Sometimes with all the abuse being thrown at Trans Women at the moment, it's easy to forget what we keep telling people, "Trans Women are Women", we are just as effected by misogyny and inequality as all other women, and have an equal responsibility to combat it and to help educate youngsters towards inclusion and equality.   I am happy to do my bit, through DRM and through participation in "Ladies First" a local exhibition in Croydon Town Center highlighting the diversity of women working and living in Croydon. This Photo is on display opposite the Town Hall, just in case they forget who I am!

I'm still looking back

Summer was fabulous, not just the weather that was stunning, but I also had a fabulous, very busy time. I spent most of my working hours wearing shorts and a sun top, I've still got a bit of tan, and even though there were some days when it was simply too hot to work on the whole I loved it. Of course it was very stressful for a lot of plants and many lawns suffered badly. It's no good watering once the drought has started, good roots are needed and that means watering lots not too often throughout the year.

Playing in Parliament Square for Processions

Apart from work I had the usual load of concerts, and activities, taking the lead amongst them this year was playing for WOW Brass for the London Processions

It was a very hot day, and I suspect that I might not have been the only one who started to regret the decision to wear black!  It was wonderful to play brass band music with so many other women, but it also underlined the simple fact that there is still a lot of prejudice in music, especially around which instruments it is suitable for a woman to play. Whilst we had plenty of trombones I was the only Bass Trombone, and for a band of around 80 we could only muster 3 tubas, and they were all EEbs.  There is still a lot of work needed to encourage girls to take up some of the instruments still perceived to be male. Instruments do not have gender they have character, they have sound, and the have roles, these can be male, female, both and neither. ~ On this note on Sunday I will be attending the first WOW Brass Development Day, I may not get to do much playing but I'm still looking forward to it.

With my new friend at Croydon PrideFest

The other big event was Croydon Pride. As I am a trustee and part of the planning committee we had lots of meetings, lots of stress, and lots of work in the lead up to the big event. Croydon Pride is very much a year round organisation with events going on most months, but of course the Pridefest is the big one.

Once again it was a wonderful sunny day, thousands of people turned out and I think everybody had a great time. Of course Pride is not just an excuse for a great party, it is still also a protest, all the time any part of the LGBT+ community is being oppressed we need to stand together and make it clear that it is not acceptable. At the moment it seems to be Trans Women who are most under attack (for any number of reasons Trans Men are not being singled out for the same levels of abuse). I have been trying not to dwell on this too much here as plenty of others are much more engaged than I am, but, when we get regular abuse in National Newspapers, Radio, TV, and Parliament it is difficult not feel picked upon. I hope that 2019 will be better, but in all honesty I don't expect it.

At Amsterdam Pride with my Daughter, 

the coolest person in the City

Croydon was not my only Pride, I marched in Pride in London (so I wasn't aware of the furore at the front until the next day), I marched in Trans Pride Brighton, and I was on the shore watching Amsterdam Pride ~ I think I have written pretty extensively about all of these at some point here so won't go on too much about them now, each was fabulous in their own way.

Amsterdam was a great trip with the fabulous London Gay Symphony Orchestra we played a great concert, we enjoyed the parade (on the canals!) we laughed so much we cried, we also discovered that Amsterdam is maybe not quite as inclusive as we thought, it was very much a Gay Pride and since neither my Daughter or I consider ourselves to be white gay men we felt a little left out and withdrew to our hotel.

To my shame I got to very few concerts I wasn't playing in, but outstanding amongst the ones I did get to was seeing "The Sweet" playing in Oxted. I loved them in the 70s and I still do!

Looking Back

It's that time of year when we look back at the year that has just passed, and forward to the year that's just started. Even though I have been considerably absent from here for the last few months I seem to have quite a bit of time on my hands at the moment so I thought I would do it anyway.

At some point over the next few posts I will probably explain why I have time on my hands, but lets start at the beginning. January 2018 feels like a very long time ago now, well it is a whole year, checking in my diary I see that in January I played in exactly zero formal concerts, but I did manage a couple of informal gigs, one with the Jazz/Blues band I play electric bass in and one as a guest with a local wind band. I still did quite a lot of playing with open rehearsals, play days and regular rehearsal. January is generally one of my quietest work months so in 2018 like most years I devoted quite a lot of time to seeing friends, family and recovering from Christmas. I also managed to go to a pantomime a friend of mine was acting in. Looking back on my post of exactly one year ago I was clearly on a bit of a downer but getting over it. A couple of days letter I was complaining here about the treatment Trans Women had been getting in the press over the previous year. I can't say that it got better in 2018, indeed it got a lot worse, as a community we felt under constant attack, and that took it's toll on all of us.

By the 9th I was writing about my Brass Band, Croydon Band, and the exciting plans we had for the year ahead, well I have to say that at least some of those plans worked out very well. We had some great fun playing we ran some brilliant workshop days and managed to recruit some extra players along the way. We may not yet be quite a full band, but we are bigger than we were, and on Monday we move into a new rehearsal venue that will take up right into the heart of the local artistic community.

A lot of the next couple of months was taken up by Lent and Easter, concerts with Orchestras, Brass Bands, Wind Bands and Cross The Line, the Jazz/Blues Band I'm part of. There was of course one of the highlights of my year WOW, playing for the WOW Festival Orchestra is very special to me, and I really, really hope that I'll be needed again. I fear that as more and more young women are beginning to take up heavy brass playing I may well very soon be surplus to requirements.

More WOW!!!

It has been quite a week, and now it seems hard to believe that it is only a week ago that I was sitting on the platform of the Royal Festival Hall surrounded by women all coming to gather to make music, and a point or two!

This weekend I have virtually nothing on, and what I had planed couldn't be done due to the weather ~ Yes we've got snow again!  This has lead me to thinking, thinking about just why playing at WOW has, and does mean so much to me.   As an avid Women's Hour listener I have been aware of the festival for a while, but not specifically about the big finale event in the main Hall with Sandy Toksvig, so when back in 2014 a friend shared the call for musicians for the 2015 event it came as a bit of a surprise, a very pleasant surprise that they considered me to be a suitable applicant.

Orchestra and Choir ~ with many conductors!

 If I remember correctly the application form invited all musicians of a competent standard who are women, or identify as women, to apply. At that stage I was still very sensitive about being considered a woman, and felt that playing in this event would be affirmation of my womanhood. I was quite right, as  young trans woman, young as in accepting that I'm trans not in terms of how many rings there will be to count if my heads cut off, it was inspiring. I was still very nervous, I was constantly expecting somebody to call me out, shout out "That's not even a proper woman!" I certainly wasn't ready for communal changing facilities.   All the other ladies made me very welcome, accepted me as part of the orchestra and as part of the wider sisterhood. Nobody mentioned, or suggested that I might be Trans.

The second year was simply the coolest thing I have done in music, or just about any other sphere of life. It was hot on the heels of this that BBC started filming for the Great British Amateur Orchestra Challenge at about 17:30 in you can hear a few of us singing "We are family" as I recount the story of my previous weekend.   I was feeling a bit more confidence in myself, both as a woman and as a musician, this was about the time that I began to realise that I had been acting all my life, I had just been playing a variety of roles, husband, father, employee, musician, in many ways this was when I started to develop the confidence to be me, all the time.

Being asked to play for third year running was a great affirmation of me as a musician, it meant that I was good enough, that I did have a right to be on that stage, I did not have to worry about being found out (imposter syndrome is a big problem for a lot of musicians). It was also my way as a woman, of saying enough! time for a change!

Sneaky shot of the section during performance

This year was different, I wanted to play, not just because it's fun, not just because I enjoy the music and the camaraderie, this year I wanted to play to make apolitical statement, a political statement as a Transgender Woman and as a Feminist.   Over the last few years things have got better for trans people, we have attained a lot more general acceptance in society. A few high profile transitions have helped make it all seem a little less strange.   But then over the last year there has been a bit of a back lash, with some quite hateful stuff coming out, especially from a group who describe themselves as feminists. This hurts as much as when people claiming to be Christian show hate instead of love, where we should be getting the greatest support we find some of the worst rejection.   So for me to get on the stage of the Royal Festival Hall as a Trans Woman at the Nations premier Feminist event would be a real political action ~ Actions Not Words!

The opening Fanfare

When I found I was not going to play I was quite knocked back, I really wanted this year! But then I reflected that I had played for three years, it is great that other, younger women, are now playing at a standard where they can do this, and that they want to. I was just trying to decide how many tickets to buy when I got the e-mail calling me up.   Again a bit of a roller coaster as my first thought was personal elation that I would be part of this, my second thought was disappointment for the player whose place I was taken through sickness, and then fear as at that point I hadn't played the trombone since Christmas!

Of course it all went really well, I'm looking forward to a new venture Women Of the World Brass, but one of the most notable things about this year's event for me was that I was talking to other performers about being trans, and getting so much love and support, this for me is the true face of feminism.

WOW!!!

I feel so privileged, yesterday I spent the day with a couple of hundred of the most awesome women in the Country. I was part of an event which should not be needed, but I fear it will have to keep going for quite a few more years yet.   Just now I won't go into all of the issues that women still face today, I won't bang on about how women are obliterated from history, how women artists, composers and writers are forgotten while their male contemporises are celebrated ~ I suspect that I may be preaching to the choir, but then yesterday the choir was all women, just like the orchestra.

Quick selfie during rehearsals

I was a little disconcerted when I first heard that I was not going to be part of the orchestra this year, then I was pleased that there were other women tuba players applying, then please to be called up, and also sorry that the original Bass Trombone was too ill to take part. All a bit on an emotion rollercoaster.

I love my Orchestra, but the WOW Orchestra for Mirth Control is something very special.   We just gather once a year for this event, but I do believe it may well be the only all female orchestra on the planet.   A mixture of Professionals, Students and Amateurs we have a wide range of experience, and age, I think my trombone was older than any of the other brass players, I am certainly old enough to be their grand mother, but we all worked together for a great musical result, and had a lot of fun along the way.

Sneaky shot of the Royal Festival Hall audience ~ My Office Today

The Brass Section and Horns walked on stage first and sat there waiting for the beginning of the evening as we started the whole thing off with a fanfare. Joan Tower's Fanfare for the Uncommon Woman no.1, written in the 1960s as a response to Aron Copeland's Fanfare for the Common Man. To my shame it is the first time I have come across this remarkable piece.

We were asked to stand to play, so that did slightly restrict my choice of shoes ~ playing the trombone standing up, in front of 2,000 people while wearing stripper shoes with 6 inch stilettos felt like just too much of a risk. I also had a few restrictions on my choice of dress ~ having put on a bit of weight I found that on my first choice the zip wouldn't do up (actually it wouldn't even meet!) and my second choice made me look pregnant, I went for the classy option with my black velvet gown gold jewelry and nice shoes.   It was a good choice since I felt comfortable, but fabulous!

So pleased and proud to have been part of this truly fabulous section, I think these girls (sorry but they are all so young compared to me) show that you don't need to be butch, big or manly to play Tuba or Trombone! 

WOW! ~ I'm Back!

Well I have been meaning to post about WOW (Women Of the World) for a while now, but have just not been too sure how to put it. After making a big thing here about my application to play in the orchestra again this year I was very disappointed not to be selected this time.   I am quite sure that it had nothing what so ever to do with my gender identity, or my ability as an instrumentalist, it was simply that after three consecutive years as the tuba player it was simply somebody else's turn.   While I was, as I say, disappointed I couldn't bring myself to resent them as I had such a great time each year, each was a wonderful experience, and one was quite simply the coolest thing I have every done.  

Since getting the e-mail telling me that I was not selected, but should stand by "just in case" I have been trying to decide whether I can afford to lash out on a couple of tickets for the show and take my daughter. As this is financially my worst time of year I have been vacillating, I want to go, but it is lot of money, for two tickets at the Royal Festival Hall!  Well as it happens my daughter is out on Sunday, with her Mum and her Mum's Mum celebrating Mothering Sunday. So it was looking like an evening sitting at home on my own feeling sorry for myself.

Before going to bed this evening I thought I should just check my e-mails as I hadn't since first thing this morning, and I'm so glad I did.   So often being told to be on stand by feels like a way of softening the blow, and easing the rejection, but blow me down! I had an e-mail from WOW asking me to step into the breech (not the breeches) and play Bass Trombone!   I am now really excited and looking forward to this enormously, but also with a little trepidation.   I haven't been playing nearly as much trombone as tuba recently ~ I actually think I may have even been playing the electric more than the trombone ~ and I only now have one day to get my lip back in. I'm expecting a rehearsal on Saturday during the day and then more rehearsal on Sunday afternoon before the performance on Sunday evening.

It should be a great evening hosted by the fabulous Sandy Toksvig with lots of laughs, some great music, and a few sobering reminders of just how unequal the world still is.

And a bit more

After putting yesterday's post up I realised that I needed a label for WOW, so I have gone through and added it to the nine posts I considered should have it.   In the process I was reminded of a few things

Back in March last year I made this post in response to an article by Jenny Murray in it I observed that

As it happens I do consider myself a feminist, I became a feminist not when I transitioned, and not when I started to suspect my true identity, no I truly became a feminist (rather than simply a sympathiser), when my daughter was born.   I wanted to be able to tell her to follow her dream, to assure her that she could be anything she wanted to be and not have to keep my fingers crossed behind my back.  I want to live in a society where when I tell my Daughter to be true to herself it is considered to be good advise.


At the moment my Daughter is following her dream, she is a Music College something I was prevented from doing, so I hope and pray that she will make this work and find a career in music ~ the hardest of professions, even if it is the greatest of hobbies

I realised that the photo I used and tagged as last year's brass section was actually from 2016 ~ sorry ladies! I feel rather surprised that I actually can't find any photos anywhere of last year's orchestra. If you have any, and are reading this please send me some.

Feminism and the Trans Woman

Lets get this clear from the start ~ I consider myself to be a feminist!

I believe in equality of opportunity, equality of respect, equality in education, in employment, in politics, in business and in law.  I believe we should all be treated as equal regardless of race, class, disability, place of birth, gender, gender expression, sexuality and age.   I would hope that it would be difficult to find anyone who would argue with any of this these days, yet it does not reflect the society we live in.   When we look at our business leaders, our political leaders, or indeed those in control of almost any aspect of our lives they are predominantly white men, white men from a certain back ground.   I've nothing against white men, after all I used to think I was one, no it is the imbalance that hurts.

I have a friend who tells me that the answer to this imbalance isn't feminism, or black lives matter, gay rights or any other special interest group ~ what we need is a total overthrow of the whole of society and the system that runs it. I tend to think it is more possible to chip away at one aspect at a time. I want to see more women in positions of power, I want to see a society that is more centered on women, children and families. I believe that through increasing opportunities for women we liberate men and make a kinder fairer society.   This is what I understand by feminism, for me feminism is not about battling men, it is not about hating men, it is as much about liberating men as it is about liberating women.

There is a stream of radical feminism that undermines support for the more general aims of feminism through their hatred of men, and indeed anyone they consider to be, or to ever have been a man ~ which rather strangely seems to include both tTrans Women, and Trans Men!   This is a group known as TERFS (Trans Exclusionary Radical feminists) that has joined in a sort of unholy alliance with the political extreme right to try to deny equal rights to trans people ~ indeed to deny our very existence.

This last year I feels as though there has been a concerted attack on trans women, there has been so much hate and vile misinformation spread by the more scurrilous organs of the news media, there is a pretty good summary of that here.   Many of my Trans friends have felt that all of these attacks are personal attacks on them and their personal identity. Given that we are Trans, it is something we are, not something we do, or a lifestyle we choose to adopt, it is an attack on us. I try not to take it personally, but it does hurt.

I want  to make it clear that this is not the position of the vast majority of feminists ~ I have found that much of my support comes from feminists, I have found that one of the biggest affirmations I have had of my womanhood was when I was accepted to play with the Women Of the World festival Orchestra.   I first saw an advertisement for orchestral players of a good standard who are, or identify as, woman back in 2014 for the 2015  festival.  I applied as much as anything to see if they really meant what they said ~ and they did! I have played tuba with the orchestra for the last three years.

Last years brass section

WOW is the UKs premier feminist event taking over the South Bank complex for a full week in March, the orchestra form an important part of the final big event in the Festival Hall.  Each year we have to apply afresh; one of the questions is about what playing in the orchestra will mean to me, in 100 words or less.   Previous years I have said something about my personal development as a woman and a musician, the inclusion of trans women, or the affirmation of my womanhood, this year I was a bit more angry and had a lot of difficulty limiting myself to 100 words, this is what wrote:~

"Playing with the WOW Orchestra the last three years was one of my most formative experiences as a woman, and as a musician. Now Transgender Women are under attack in the media it is important that as a Trans Woman I take my stand as a feminist in the UKs premier event in my prime role as a musician.
It is important to show the World that we are real women and that the vast majority feminist accept us as such. This year it feels like my opportunity to make a political stance through playing music with other women."

Now I have to wait for an answer as to whether I will be playing again this year. We have been promised an answer this month, I truly hope that this will not be the year when they decide to give somebody else, maybe somebody younger, a chance. I really hope, but I am quite sure that if they do decide not to include me in the Orchestra for 2018 it will not be because I am trans, and I will probably go anyway.

Warming Up

This is a special week for me, this is the first week this year when I have worked five days! Yes that's right I have actually worked a full week.   And, that's after a weekend where I had an all day rehearsal on Saturday followed by a meeting in the evening, and then another all day rehearsal on Sunday followed by an evening performance.

Then this weekend I have been recording with the rather wonderful Heroes Band.

All this means that I am feeling rather tired, but also very satisfied.

Of course this means a couple of other things as well, one is that I have been doing some pretty fantastic things, like last weekend I was at the Royal Festival Hall playing at Mirth Control, the big finale to the Women Of the World Festival.   OK this year couldn't quite match up to last year playing with Sister Sledge, but we did have Bjorn from ABBA!

It was great to be with so many wonderful, talented women, we were told that the Orchestra was the best yet and that we sounded pretty fantastic.   While it may not have been the most musically satisfying experience I have had, but as a life experience it is hard to compare!

It also means that the weather has been pretty good; at the beginning of the week I was working striped down to my tee shirt working on my tan, by Friday I was wearing a tee shirt, pullover and body warmer!

Dear Jenny

The last few days there has been a lot of fuss in and around the Transgender world about an article written by Dame Jenni Murray for the Sunday Times, I have just read it and I can understand why some trans people are very upset about it.   However I do suspect that they are a lot more upset than the article really warrants.

Just as Jenny starts her article with a clarification

"Let me make something absolutely clear at the outset. I am not transphobic or anti-trans. Not a Terf in other words. That’s trans-exclusionary radical feminist, to use one of the often-confusing expressions that have entered the language in this age of gender revolution."

Maybe I should make it clear that I am a regular listener to her on Woman's Hour and generally enjoy her broadcasts.

This is an opinion piece and there is some question as to whether since Murray is a presenter of BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour she should not be expressing an opinion on topics that the program will cover, and, where she should show, and represent the BBC's, impartiality. Certainly I would now find it difficult to listen to her host a discussion on Trans matters on Woman's hour without assuming that she favoured one side of any argument.   Given that I am a long standing fan and listener to Woman's Hour this is a substantial realisation.

Dame Jenni Murray

It is a well written, considered piece, and some research has clearly been done, just as I would expect from a journalist of Jenni's stature.   The fuss centers around Jenni's assertion that having lived life as a man, it is impossible to transition to become a "Real Woman", indeed it is with this phrase that I (and oh so many others) take issue.   I will agree that as a trans woman there are many of the formative experiences of most women that I have missed out on, some with regret, and some with glee.   Until relatively recently I have had no direct personal experience of misogyny, I have known of it, and indeed seen it, but it is only since my transition in my 50s that I have experienced it.   I have never known what it is to experience child birth (first hand ~ being there and watching is not the same) or indeed menstruation. Quite clearly I have not been through the process of growing up as a woman, and so do not have those formative, shared experiences that many women my age will have.

Having lived as a man I have known male privilege, more than that I have known white middle class, middle aged straight male privilege, and let me assure you Jenni, nothing makes you understand privilege like giving it up!

As it happens I do consider myself a feminist, I became a feminist not when I transitioned, and not when I started to suspect my true identity, no I truly became a feminist (rather than simply a sympathiser), when my daughter was born.   I wanted to be able to tell her to follow her dream, to assure her that she could be anything she wanted to be and not have to keep my fingers crossed behind my back.  I want to live in a society where when I tell my Daughter to be true to herself it is considered to be good advise.

A real woman

So am I a real woman, well the simple answer is that I am a woman (after all that's what it says on my passport!) and I am real. If I were not real I wouldn't have to pay my credit card bills, so there is a down side.   Does that make me a real woman? well in my book it does, but I think that must depend on the definition of a "real woman".   Jenni worries that a couple of the trans women she has interviewed were not aware of feminist principles or history, she worried that these two were unduly concerned about clothes and make up, and cited the example of one of the very rare people who de-transitioned. Considering this as evidence that we are not real women.

Unfortunately many Cis Women are equally ignorant or unaware of feminist history, the battles that have been fought, won, and lost, many are unduly concerned about their clothes, make up and appearance. that makes them no less real.

As far as clothes and make up go maybe I need to explain that these are even more important to trans women than Cis women, especially for those of us who transition later in life. Not because we are brainless Barbies but because we are aware that like any other woman we will be judged by what we choose to wear, every aspect of our appearance will be analysed and criticised, perhaps even more so than our Cis sisters.   Then add to this minefield the two aspects that we have not had the years of practise, development and learning of our sisters, and that we also have more that we choose to cover up, it is perhaps more important to us that our presentation is appropriate and that we, who are so often considered oddities, will fit in.    I have friends who have been women all their lives and they are also concerned about their appearance, that makes their womanhood or their opinions no less valid.

Perhaps the two trans women Jenni spoke with appeared unaware of, or disagreed with some basic feminist principles, this does not apply to all trans women ~ indeed at last year's Mirth Control at the end of the Women Of the World festival I was in the top ten on the feminist quiz!

I cannot forget, and would not want to, my life prior to transition, I cannot put aside all the experiences and people who have made me who I am today.   But once again I ask does all this mean that I am not a real woman?

I consider myself a real woman, my daughter considers me a real woman, my friends consider me a real woman. Maybe the problem is in the wording, to suggest that I am not a real woman, is to suggest that I am acting, playing dress up, not experiencing the reality of womanhood, indeed invalidating my very essence of self.   Well let me assure you Jenni that what I am experiencing is real, very real, and not always comfortable.   True I have not enjoyed all the aspects of growing up a woman, maybe a less offensive expression might be "Complete Woman".   I am real, but I will admit that lack of experience may make me incomplete.

The sooner we can stop this being a debate, and exclude the extreme activists on both sides then maybe we can make this discussion a constructive one rather than giving and taking offense.   I expect Jenni will be at WOW at the festival hall this weekend, I will be there on Sunday as I will once again be playing in the Women Of the World Festival Orchestra, the World's only orchestra made up entirely of real women, if you would like to talk to me between rehearsals and performance I would be happy to explain further just why I feel real, even if maybe not complete.

Concert Dress XIV

Last Sunday (Feb 19th) I played a concert with my beloved London Gay Symphony Orchestra, included in the program was Mahler's awesome fifth symphony.   The piece is highly emotional and presents a number of technical and physical difficulties not least of which is sustaining the necessary level of concentration for over an hour.   Our orchestra has grown a lot over the last year or so which is great as we can now put a good performance of some of these massive works.

As we often do, we did have someone recording the performance so I hope that at some point I will be able to share a bit of it with you all, but for now I will just quote a (musician) friend who came to the concert
"Excellent. Whole orchestra played brilliantly. Better than I have sometimes heard professional orchestras play. Thoroughly enjoyed this evening."

I now have quite a few other performances coming up, an many different instruments, I even have a recording where I will be playing the electric bass for one track.   One of them, however will be presenting an almost unique challenge.

Once again this year I will be playing for the WOW festival Orchestra at the Royal Festival Hall, since last year's Mirth Control was just about the coolest thing I have ever done this year has a hard act to follow.   After all it's not every day that I get to play "We are Family" with Sister Sledge at the Royal Festival Hall!

Last year's brass section, with old lady in red at the end

Last year we had quite some confusion about what to wear, initially we were asked to wear suffragette colours, then it was changed to colourful Posh Frocks, I ended up vacillating madly about what I was going to wear, until I bought a new dress just for the occasion.

This year they are being even less helpful with the simple injunction

We would like to look and feel fabulous, so please wear something in which you feel great! Bright colours are fine and also sparkles and glitter!

Trousers, long or short dresses, skirts, all are fine as long as you feel amazing!

Well it would have been nice to at least get a clue! I think I need somebody to come over, go through my wardrobe and tell me what to wear!

WOW!!!!

For the last few years I have been saying that the coolest thing I have ever done, was to play in the backing band for my daughter, it was at a Church Social and she was singing a couple of Amy Winehouse numbers,  "Back to Black", and "Rehab". The other day I had to admit to her that she had been superseded.   Last month I found myself on a Sunday evening sitting in the World's only all female orchestra playing the accompaniment to "We are Family" with Sister Sledge! That has just got to be the coolest thing any Tuba player can ever do.

I have only just discovered that one of the other members of the brass section has her own blog and wrote a very good piece about the event so rather than go over everything that she said I will just send you over to Lauren's blog for all the details.

Brass Section Rehearsal

I will try to content myself just a few quick observations,

• Everyone I met, in the orchestra, soloists, guests, organisers, even the conductors were very friendly and approachable, and there to enjoy themselves.
• The musicianship of the orchestra was outstanding, for a scratch orchestra made up of a few pros, students and rank amateurs like me to get together some pretty challenging music with very little rehearsal was outstanding, to then have to transpose a whole piece at sight showed just what a quality outfit this really is.
• To an old lag like me it was very encouraging to not only see so many talented women gathered together, but even better that so many are young.  I was certainly the oldest in the Brass section by a good couple of decades!
• All of the "Stars" Sandy Toksvig, Sue Perkins, Sister Sledge Bonnie Langford and Sara Pascoe, all came across as very genuine and are exactly like they seem when you see them on the telly!
• I do hope so much that I will be able to be part of this again next year

The Young, Talented and Beautiful Brass Section (plus me) waiting to go on stage

WOW!!!

The Brass Section in rehearsal

It is difficult to know where to start with the fabulousness that was my Sunday, playing with the WOW Orchestra for the second year was even better than it was the first year!   I suppose that having been here before I was more comfortable with the experience, I knew where to park and what the structure of the day would be, I knew my way around the back stage of the hall, and I knew I didn't have to worry about anybody shouting at me "You're just a man in a dress you shouldn't be here!"

The choice of music also suited me better, not least since it meant I could use my big shiny CC tuba.

The orchestra was made up of a selection of professionals, students and amateurs, we were all shapes and sizes, although we covered a range of ages, I think that once again it was an encouragingly young orchestra.   I was also impressed by the technical and musical skill of the orchestra.   We gave the premier of a new song written by Dillie Keane and Sandi Toksvig "Walk Beside Me" We had first sight of this at Saturday morning's rehearsal, we expected to rehearse with the singer on Sunday.   The singer was the fantastic Sharon D Clarke who has a great voice, but unfortunately not one that suited the key we were expecting to play in.   So we were asked to transpose the whole song up a fourth, no fresh parts could be provided in time so just had to get on with it.   I was so impressed that this orchestra managed this with barely a glitch, this speaks volumes for the musicianship of all the members as well as their technical ability.

This was the finale of the WOW Festival and had more than it's fare share of WOW moments, the winner of the Feminist Quiz (I did pretty well but not quite a winner) was presented with her prize by Baroness Scotland, just about to take up her new role as Secretary General of the Commonwealth.

Later the Orchestra played.Rissolty-Rossolty a piece by Ruth Crawford Seeger, it's a good fun piece based on folk tunes, and won her a composing prize, Sandi Toksvig gave a quick list of the composers achievements finishing with "and she also managed to raise several children, including Pete and Peggy, and here is her daughter Peggy Seeger" Peggy Seeger came out on stage with her guitar, looked up at the big screen behind us to see a photo of Ruth, and said, "That's my Mum"  I was sharing a stage with a legend, who turns out to be a lovely person as well.

WOW!!

Thank you all of you who voted in my little poll, the outcome was a straight split between plain leggings and the snakeskin ones, the consensus being that the tie up ones were just a little too tarty, even for me!   Well, as it happens it all became a little irrelevant, since on Friday I happened to find myself buying a new, and rather spectacular, full length red dress. It was a very good price, I will have another opportunity to wear it, and I think it suits me.

Sometimes my life seems very strange, last night (Sunday) I was on stage at teh Royal Festival Hall, playing with Sister Sledge ~ Yes, I was actually playing with the actual Sister Sledge, I'm still not sure I believe it myself  ~ Then tonight I was with the Croydon Brass Band in Thornton Heath.

Don't get me wrong, the brass band are a great bunch and I love playing with them but yesterday was pretty amazing! I suspect that over the next few days I could get quite boring about the whole event.  Yet I find that once again I have a very full week ahead of me three more performances and some rehearsals coming up, as well as a full work diary, so I don't know how much time I will be able to devote to the Blog.

I will do my  best to tell some of my WOW stories though.

WOW

Sunday evening I will be playing with the WOW Orchestra at London's Festival Hall. This is a BIG EVENT, and in many ways an even bigger one for me.   This is the second year I have been part of this, last year a friend put me in contact with them after seeing they were looking classical musicians of a high standard who are, or self identify as, women.   Almost as a test as to whether they would be as good as their word I applied, and got the gig!

This year I was contacted direct and invited to apply, clearly once again I have been accepted, this great on several levels, I have been accepted both as a musician and as a woman, but perhaps more to the point I have been accepted as a woman, by a feminist organisation!

I have read a lot about TERFS (Trans Exclusive Radical Feminists) recently, we hear about groups who will not allow trans women into their events, feminists who deny the concept that trans women are women at all, and it would be easy to start to see feminists as the enemy.   For me this is a timely reminder that as women feminism is about us trans women, just as much as it is about cis women.   When we gave up our male privilege we became more aware than most of  way society treats men and women differently, if nothing else this mean that we should all be feminists.

A while ago when I was banging on about feminism I was asked if I became a feminist when I became a woman, no, although I think I was always sympathetic, I became a feminist when I became a parent, when I tell my daughter that she can be anything she wants, I want it to be true.

Concert Dress XIII ~ WOW

I wrote here about the problems I was having trying to work out what to wear for an upcoming concert. The Concert is this Sunday evening, and as some of you have already worked out it is a big deal! I will be in the WOW Orchestra at Mirth Control, the big finale to the Women Of the World Festival on the South Bank.   This is the second year I will have been part of this Orchestra, and I am still feeling very pleased to be part of something so special.   It is so very affirming of my status both as a musician and as a woman.

Sure it looks good on the CV, it will also be great when we start playing name dropping as well, as I will be able to add a few new "Stars" to the selection of names I can drop!


But just now I'm still worrying about what to wear.

Having more or less worked out an outfit in Suffragette colours, we are now told to wear something smart and brightly coloured.   Two things are for sure, 1/ I have no dresses that will fit the bill, the only brightly coloured dresses I have would do nothing for my modestly if tried to play a tuba wearing them, and 2/ I am not going to buy anything new now, there are only a few days left and I will be working all of them (weather permitting).   I have pretty much decided that I will go for a lovely bright red top, with black leggings and high heeled boots.

The only question is which leggings?

I have the embossed snakeskin ones, a pair that lace up at the back of each leg, or plan ordinary black ones.

I think any of them with my bright top will look pretty good, so I'm going to give you the chance to help me make up my mind.

By the way, before anyone gets carried away, these are NOT my legs!

This and That, Weekend observations

Interesting things that struck me over the weekend ~

Woman's Hour staff asking me what single piece of advice I would give my Daughter? My reply was to tell her to follow her dream, I think that we don't just need to encourage our children, we need to give them permission to be themselves, ~ who knows, if I had been given permission to be myself "back in the day"

Quite a lot of men at Women Of the World, Feminism is not because we are women, not because we have daughters, or mothers, it's because we're human.   What I saw over this weekend confirmed me in my opinion that the men haters have got it wrong, feminism is about changing society so that everybody can follow heir dream, and not be treated any differently because of Gender, Gender Identification, Race, colour, sexuality, disability, age or anything else I haven't even thought of yet, not about contesting with men.

I heard what I thought were my own words quoted back at me "Life is too short for ugly underwear" now I'm wondering if I heard it somewhere, and who said it first.

No one I spent any time with alluded to the fact that I may not have always been the woman I am now ~ wonderfully affirming!

There were two members of the Orchestra who I had worked with before, and another couple with whom I shared mutual friends.   Although there are a lot of us our paths cross and interconnect.

Beautiful young weightlifters showing that it is OK to be competitive, physical and feminine (and very friendly we had a lovely chat about techniques for pumping iron!).

I felt quite hurt to be dumped by somebody I haven't even met ~ only swapped a few texts with, but that is not so much the disappointment as the rejection.

Hugh Grant really is that good looking!

Everyone I met was happy, relaxed, safe, conversations were instigated stranger to stranger, everyone treated as an equal.

Young, Gifted and Female!

As a musician I have done, or been part of some pretty amazing things.   I worked at Expo 92 one of the greatest shows on earth, I played at the first every Festival of Music for Schools, I have been part of bands and orchestras with some pretty special people.   I have played in at least six different Countries, I have played in Liverpool Cathedral, the Liverpool Philharmonic, the Manchester Bridgewater, the Fairfield and several other halls.   I have been part of Prom Praise at the Royal Albert Hall.

I have used music to worship God, to entertain, to educate and to bring back memories to the very old, I have always worked on the theory that I have been given a gift that is to be shared. Not a great gift, but none the less not one that is simply for me.

It is gratifying that even after all this and nearly fifty years of performing I can still have new, interesting, and exciting experiences.   This last weekend definitely falls into that area.   I think even just one year ago I would not have been able to do what I have, indeed a year ago I would not have been convinced that I qualified!

At one point last night Sandi Toksvig asked how many of us had played in the Orchestra in previous years, I couldn't put up my hand for that one, and if asked would I have owned up that just one year ago I still wasn't sure that I was even a woman.   Yet this year it was so affirming, so encouraging, so much fun, to spend most of my weekend making music with women.

I will be coming back to this with some more details of the weekend, but for now I just want to say what privilege it was to be part of such a talented, technically fine, and young orchestra.

WOW

Between work, family and music I have been very busy (so no change there then!) over the last couple of weeks.   I promise a much more complete post soon but in the mean time I will over one word WOW for more go here