A very Betty Christmas

Betty was not as omnipresent in the year's Advent Calendar as in some previous years, partly because I was a little worried about repeating myself too much, but also because most of my Betty pictures are stored on my laptop, and it ended up that a lot, I mean A LOT, of my posts ended up being created on my phone or my table (I know, first world problems!).

I definitely have a bit of "a thing" for Betty Boop, I suspect it is that in my view she is a bit like cream cake (for those of us of a certain age in the UK) in as much as she a she is  "Naughty but nice". for all the "Do boop a do" there is something about her that retains a level of innocence amongst the sexiness. 

There is certainly an idea that she never goes too far, sure there are the short skirts and all that, but there is an obvious limit; and limits are important, I remember back in my cross dressing day talking to my then teenage daughter about just how high a hem line was acceptable, and I came up with the fingertip length limit. i.e. if the hemline was higher than her fingertips holding her arms straight down then it was too short, I think we all agreed that this was reasonable, then my wife looked at me and asked if I would stick to the same limit ~ I rather had to agree, and have stuck to that ever since. I suspect that Betty sometimes might be just above that.

Let's be honest this post isn't really about anything I have to say, the words are not important it is just an opportunity for some gratuitous pictures of Betty!

So if you felt short changed before I hope I have now made up for it!

Advent Calendar VII

 

We had just started the second half of this evening's concert (my second of the day) when I realised that I had failed to post anything this morning, and as I'm not really set up to do such things on my phone I had to wait until I got home before I could do anything. I had thought about maybe expanding on my thoughts about how we are all different, and in a way that also makes us all the same, but quite frankly I'm not up to any such cerebral work at the moment.

My first gig was playing euphonium with Croydon Brass Band at the Carshalton Frost Fair, fortunately not so cold that we had a frost, but I was still glad that I wrapped up well! It certainly wasn't as cold as this historic picture of one of the London Frost Fairs. Back in the "mini Ice Age" in the 17th and 18th centuries from time to time the Thames would freeze over and the locals would hold a fair on the ice. Read more about them here. It was nice community event with some nice stalls and two stages, I would have liked to have been able to stay a bit longer, but I had other commitments!

Then it was a dash over to Worcester Park to join the Linden Wind Orchestra for their combined Christmas and 40th Anniversary Celebration. Not only did this mean a change of clothes, but also a change of instrument, this one was on Bass Trombone. Although I have never been a member of this band I have played with them on a number of occasions over those 40 years, and feel like I must be a "semi detached member of the family". On one occasion a few years back I even auditioned to conduct them, in hindsight at that time I was not ready for a band of this quality, now? ~ if the chance came again I would still try!

Anyway, I'm tired, I haven't got any photos of the day so here is another gratuitous Betty picture!

Advent Calendar XXI

Only four sleeps to go! Are you getting excited? Well I hope that you've been good and that Santa will visit you, which Santa you want a visit from I guess is up to you!

Over on Stana's blog femulate.org you will find my photo is featured today! I may no longer fit the definition of a femulator but I still enjoy her blog. 

Advent Calendar XV

Enough photos of me! Time for a bit more of Betty!

Advent Calendar X

Life has been a bit frantic of late, it must be over three weeks since I've had a whole day off! Everything I do I like, but sometimes it can all just get too much. Today it did just that! I started a sniffle at rehearsal last night, this morning I woke up with a head full of cold and a nose full of snot.

In consequence when the alarm went off this morning I turned it off and stayed in bed. I have managed to keep a bit of leeway in my schedule but not much, and I think I have used it all up today.  I have a full day tomorrow so need to be firing on at least three of my four cylinders.  I'm hoping that a restful day and a solid peaceful night will work the cure.

I certainly don't want to be feeling below par next week when I fly off to warmer climes. I suspect that over the next couple of days I will be mainlining on Lemsips and keeping as warm as possible, well, as warm as possible in my line of work anyway.

I'll have to look after myself ~ well I haven't got anyone else to look after me so I'll just have to nurse myself.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow! 

Advent Calendar VI

There is some sort of natural affinity between brass instruments and Christmas, we always seem to be wanted for every Christmas event. This is lovely, but it also means that I tend to get spread a little thin at the moment. There are a few Christmas performances from other bands that I would love to go to, just to listen to somebody else play, but they all seem to coincide with stuff I'm already doing.

I remember my Father, a very keen sports fan, always said he'd rather be doing than watching, so could easily end up missing a football international (his main sport) in order to play golf. I'm a bit like that with music, I'd rather be playing or conducting some carols than listening to the LSO!

In the mean time I have performances on both Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday I'll actually be playing with some members of my Brass Band for the switching of the Christmas Lights......... at South Norwood (not quite as glamorous as it sounds) and then on Sunday I'm out with my Orchestra the LGSO ~ This is going to be a fabulous concert with a wonderful orchestra, I just need to decide exactly what I'm going to wear. I won't be playing the piano but on this occasion I may take my inspiration from Betty!

Advent Calendar IV

I thought I would be really hard this year to find some new Betty Boop pictures to share as part of my Advent Calendar, but having just done a Google search I have found quite a few new ones! Maybe there is a renewed interest in Betty, I know the appeal for me is very much around the idea of being naughty, but not dirty, sexy without being sexual.

I rather like this one, It is quite sophisticated Betty, nicely dressed (I would like that dress) with a stylised tree and a teasing glance over her shoulder. What's not to like.

I also feared I might have got a little heavy the last couple of days!

Advent Calendar 1

It's that time of year again, and I am very boldly committing to posting regularly for the next 25 days, to complete my Paula's Place Advent Calendar; to show some fun images (lots of Betty a few of me, guess which is which) and to give a few insights into my life as a musician, a gardener, a parent and of course, a transgender woman.

I love Christmas, but maybe not as much as some of our commercial organisations. They use Christmas to make a lot of money out of people who can't necessarily afford it, whereas I use Christmas to not make any money at all. Like most years I will not be working from the week of Christmas until after the new year ~ like the last few years I will be going away ~ unlike the last few years I will not just be staying with a friend for a few days, this year we will be going much further.

For the first time ever I will be spending Christmas abroad, at this point I should state that I do not consider Wales to be abroad!

Advent Calendar IXX

I know I posted this picture the other day illustrating my post on presents, and I know I post a lot pictures of scantily clad Betty Boop.   One thing that has not changed with my transition is my fondness of Betty. I like the way (when properly drawn) she is naughty, but somehow still quite innocent. ~ Sort of Naughty but Nice.   I will also admit that now I wouldn't mind some of her attributes!

But I am very aware that a lot of things have changed since my transition, including my attitude to underwear! It used to all be lingerie, lots of satin, bows, and lace, all very impractical. I still like satin, lace, and bows, but now practicality comes a lot higher on my priorities list.

I still like to dress up in something nice and slinky, I like to feel a bit sexy, even though I have no intentions of doing anything about it, it is nice to feel desirable and I think it would be nice to feel desired. But these days I mostly dress for comfort, jeans and a sweater, or if I'm going outside jeans and three sweaters! My underwear reflects that as well, these days I am often to be found with my thermals on, especially when I'm working.

Anyway; ~ what prompted all of this reflection was this picture of Betty, most of the Betty pictures show her scantily clad and being a bit naughty rather than attempting out and out erotic but this one has for me crossed the line ~ sure she is not showing any more flesh than in others so what is my objection.   Well, it's the suspenders! Like many of my generation there is something erotic about stockings and suspenders, maybe it was growing up with the image of Sophia Loren in The Millionairess, but whatever it is that is responsible they are definitely erotic, I know it when I see them, and I know it wear them.

But my complaint about this picture is not just that! it's how they are worn! Clearly this was drawn by a man, no woman would ever have the suspenders outside the pants (panties for the Americans) I mean how would the poor girl ever manage to go to the loo!?

Advent Calendar XIV

I think this must be one of the strangest Betty Christmas pictures I have yet seen,   I must be getting old since my first thought is "She must be cold dressed like that!"

Anyways; yesterday I commented on how unfeminine I felt until a random comment from a stranger, it really did do me a power of good. After work I had to go straight to a medical appointment, and then today I had two more.

So in the last couple of days I have had facial electrolysis, an injection in the bottom, and my first mammogram.   I'm sure that some would say that this is a certain "rights of passage" for me as a woman, all I can say is thank goodness that I will never need a smear test!

I know that some trans women morn the fact that they will never be able to "enjoy" the full experience of being a woman, given that I have spent many years married to one and nearly as many as the parent of one, I am heartily glad that I will never be able to experience many of the physical aspects of womanhood!

Maybe one of the things I like about Betty is that she never seems to experience the less fun aspects of being a woman either ~ Including getting ageing!

Advent Calendar IX

I am a day late, and still have to dash, more will follow but to keep you happy in the mean time here is some Betty!

If you want to take this as a hint ~ well, feel free!

Advent Calendar XXIV

So it seems as though 2016 hasn't finished with us yet, waking up this morning to the news that Carrie Fisher has had a serious heart attack, I pray for her survival, please do not let us lose another.  It is beginning to feel as though all the stars or influential people I grew up with are either dead or in prison!

I was very good yesterday, I now have all of my presents wrapped, and all of the cards that are going to get written, written.   Most have been delivered, and the remaining ones will be very soon.   I have made some chutney (by way of therapy) and cleaned the kitchen.   I have sufficient food and booze laid in to see me through to the new year, so now I can sit back and relax, and let others do the work.

I did make the mistake yesterday of "Popping out to the supermarket" to pick up a couple of things, traffic was appalling, parking challenging and the shop itself was heaving.   My heart goes out to all shop staff at this time of year, generally they seem to be cheerful yet so many customers are rude, rushed and selfish, why do we all panic and buy so much food, the shops are only shut for a couple of days?!

So now we have got to the point of only one sleep before Christmas Day! we have sent cards to people we either love, or feel we ought to. We have bought and wrapped presents for close friends and family.  In this day and age we have probably put up a post on Facebook (other social media are available) explaining why we haven't sent cards to other people.   We have bought too much food, we have probably got a little drunk at least once and are now looking forward to a blow out day tomorrow and then a pleasant restful few days off afterwards.

I wish you all joy at Christmas and throughout the coming new year.   But today the last word goes to The Meaning of Lila

Advent Calendar XXI

Today is the winter equinox so we were a bit short on day light, as from tomorrow the days should start to get longer, and I can look forward to not having to stop work just after four due to lack of light.

Having said that I only had a couple of hours working outdoors in a garden today, my main job for the day was a couple of phone calls, and trying to construct a six month budget for a small business.   It is a long time since I have spent that much time working on a spread sheet.   Unfortunately I couldn't come up with the answer we wanted, but I don't think is my figures that are wrong, we will now have a lot more work to put in.

When I finally got home and had a chance to relax and check in to Facebook, I found that one of my friends had left this picture for me ~ do you think my friends are beginning to work out that I have a bit of a thing for Betty?

Advent Calendar VI

A while back I wrote about how I felt a bit fat, and needed to lose a bit of weight, well I decided not to wait till Christmas in the hope that somebody would buy me some scales and bought some for myself.   It transpires that I was right, I have put on some weight, and now I have the scales I can track how well (or not) I am doing at getting rid of it.

I know that I shouldn't check too often, but I have managed a few pounds already, unfortunately it is only going to get harder as we approach Christmas ever closer. So far I have managed to avoid the mince pies, the mulled wine, ginger bread, stollen and all the special goodies, but I won't be able to hold out for long!

I strongly suspect that my weight gain is at least in part down to the hormones, and now maybe I owe a lot of people an awful lot of apologies, I have no idea how often I have observed that "losing weight is easy, just do more and eat less" suddenly it doesn't seem to work quite as easily as it used to.

Advent Calendar I

Yes! I's that time of year again!

Welcome to Paula's 2016 Advent Calendar.   Starting in the manner I mean to continue our first picture encapsulates some of the most important aspects of Christmas and Advent.

We have companionship, Christian worship, music, and of course Betty Boop!

Not on my own

On occasion I find that I am challenged as to how I can maintain my Christian Faith, while also identifying as transgender, well, I will admit that over the years I have had quite a struggle with this one. I know that for many people the two simply do not seem compatible and I fully expect that people will continue to be challenge me on this, and I do not have a problem with that.

I believe in a God who is transformational, a God who heals, a God who cares passionately for each and every one of us, a God who knows my name, and has chosen me as his adopted child, A God who is developing and molding me into a closer likeness to himself; now why would he care what I wear?   But of course it is much more complicated than that!

We often confuse what we hear from the pulpit, or indeed read in our newspapers and pick up from society with what is actually in scripture, there is only one verse (Deuteronomy 22:5) in the whole of the Bible that appears to concern crossdressing, but it is very specifically about crossdressing, even if the Rabbinic writings suggest that it is primarily concerned with either religious practise and / or military service, however there is a popular view that having a divergent gender identity is unchristian.

We see the outworking of that attitude in the USA at the moment as more and more laws are being put through legislatures under the guise of religious freedom, that are in fact attacking transgender people, preventing them from going about their daily lives with the protection of law.

For most of my life I bought into the popular idea that crossdressing, transvestism, and transgender were more or less the same thing and all equally evil! So when I became a Christian I very much saw my Crossdressing as something that I needed to be cured of.   I struggled and I prayed, I struggled and endured, and I continued to pray; yet this thing was not taken away from me, maybe like Paul I had to endure this "thorn in my flesh", but God had cured me in other ways so why not this?

I know God wants the best for me, because he told me so. he has plans for me, and those plans are good! I have written elsewhere on this Blog about my own personal journey from cross dresser to Trans Woman, but not so much the part that my faith played in first preventing it, and then in facilitating it.

It was after a series of intensive prayer meetings with a couple of ladies that I came to the conclusion that God loves me, forgives me and wants to heal me.  These two good ladies came to the same conclusion, they just expected God to heal me in a different way, the way I had previously been expecting and the way my prayers had been anticipating. God wanted me to live a full, loving and homogeneous life, free of the gender confusion that I was enduring, I had been expecting God to heal me by making me a normal Cisgendered man,instead he choose that I should become the woman he had always meant me to be. I was born into an imperfect world, and that led to me being born this way, just like any other congenital condition, it was not God's plan that I was born this way, but he does want me to be whole, and healed, I had to embrace who and what I am, and live the life I had been given to the full.

It is only through God's healing power that I am where I am now, it is only through the knowledge of his unconditional love that I have been able to engage in this process of transition.   I wonder how much, and how often we limit God's healing when we try to impose on him how we think he should heal us?

Stuff & Nonsence

 Well I finally returned home last night after a few days away, and a protracted struggle with the M4, after settling down I decided that what I really, really needed, was a nice Dry Martini. only to find myself confronted with the results of my own gluttony, I had already eaten all the olives!   Never mind I managed with a little lime instead.

Then this morning I had the pleasure of discovering that BBC Radio 4's Womans Hour was devoting a whole program to trans issues if you didn't hear it it is worth it and you can listen again here.  If there is one thing I will remember from the discussion it was the statistic that nearly twice as many Americans think they have seen a ghost as think they have seen a Trans person.   I am reminded of the stat that says 90% say they don't know a trans person, 100% of them were wrong.

I now find that BBC2 are showing now showing "Albert Nobbs" tonight as well. Thank you BBC

Happy Christmas

So we have made it, today is the day!   I shall now be away from my computer for a few days,  I shall be enjoying the company of friends, and family as I celebrate the birth of Christ the physical embodiment of God's love.

While I may have used Betty (extensively) to illustrate my Advent calendar, I try to not forget that all my celebrations are about that. God's love,

So in turn I thank everyone who has demonstrated God's love to me this year, and pray that each of you will experience some of that love this Christmas.

May you find in your stocking what ever it is you want, and may you be what somebody else is wanting ~ whether in stockings or not.

Happy Christmas

Advent Calendar XXII

I have been good! Today I have made progress, as well as actually doing some work, I have now brought all of my furniture home, while I still have a few boxes, mostly of books, in storage and a few here waiting to be unpacked, I feel as though that is a major step forward.   It also leaves me all too aware that I either need to get rid of more stuff, or acquire some more bookcases!

I will now be madly cleaning and tidying up the flat as this evening I will be having my first visitor. A good friend who now lives in Cornwall will be dropping by while she is in London for a few days.   I know that how ever hard I work the place will l be a long way short of presentable, I simply haven't managed to decide how the flat will best work for me, and there are lots of things still waiting for homes to be found, but at least I can give the floor a sweep. and put my dirty washing in the basket.

I have made some progress towards organising my gift buying, I have managed to purchase about half of the gifts I want to get, the trouble is that leaves the ones where I don't know what to get, or I can't afford what I do want toget.

Advent Calendar XIX

I seem to be losing track of time, this is Saturday's post, and it is just dawning on me that it is now only a few days till Christmas.   I know that it is the cry of many around this time that "I'm not ready" I don't have much to get ready, I will be out with friends on Christmas Day itself, and then I will be visiting family for the following few days,so no need to stock up on booze or food.   I'm not having any decorations and it doesn't look like I'll be sending any cards, so what's to get ready?

Well I suppose I ought to buy a few presents, arrange exactly when I will be seeing the people I really want to see, yet at the moment I seem to be having enough trouble just keeping up with my basic life, Keeping the flat clean, getting my laundry done and making sure there is some milk in the fridge.  I still have boxes and a couple of bits of furniture in storage, I have given myself a deadline of the end of the year to have every thing in ~ lets see if I make it!