All Change

 The eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed a new head line, while I was rather fond of my old boast of being "The World's Leading Bass Trombone and Tuba playing Transgender Christian Gardener", it felt like time to make a change. While it did reflect my opinion that being trans is quite possibly the least interesting thing about me, it is no longer quite accurate. Now I am retired I felt I needed something that more closely reflects how I now think of myself. The last six months I have been pretty much totally immersed in music (and cars of course). 

Leroy Anderson,
the doyen of light music composition

The other week I had one of my latest compositions performed, a solo work for tuba and concert band ~ as a first performance I was very pleased, it is a very special moment when I hear something I have written performed by real people on real instruments! The solo line is exactly as I intended and I am very happy with it ~ I might make a couple of small modifications following suggestions from our soloist, but nothing major. The band accompaniment on the other hand did have a couple of moments that just didn't work, I think I need to simplify them! 

The late great Leroy Anderson was renowned for the care he took in score preparation prior to publication. During rehearsal each of pieces would have small adjustments made before being performed or recorded, only after this process would all the changes and markings incorporated into the score and parts before publication. If that's good enough for Leroy Anderson than it's good enough for me!

At the weekend I am conducting a band weekend away with the marvellous Phoenix Concert Band, at some point during the weekend we will be trying another new work I have composed, this is a much simpler, and shorter piece, which I hope that I will then be in a position to publish next week. It will be nice to start getting some more original work "out there" so far of the fifteen pieces I have published only three are original works and two of those are for quartets!

Advent Calendar IIXX

 

I'm still working from my tablet as my WiFi is still out of commission. Last night I was watching TV, and it suddenly hit me that my TV runs through my internet! If I have a connection to the TV by lan cable then it must be the router, I tried turning it off and then on again, I tried using the reset button, still nothing, no land line, and no WiFi (and I don't have another cable to hand! I think it's time I contacted Vodafone!

Well despite my usual hate for on line "chat" text systems I have just spent about 45 minutes with Vodafone trying to sort out my problem, and after having my router reconfigured and pressing more buttons that I hadn't even found before I now have Wifi and am back on my laptop! The land line isn't working but since it's only one of my brothers and scammers who ever use it I'm not overly bothered just now. I love technology when it works, but these days I find I am often simply left behind. Not having worked for anyone else for the last twenty years I have not had the advantage of an IT department, and for the last ten years or so I have lived on my own as well, so the wisdom of my wife and daughter have also been missing. I suspect that in many ways I am very out of date, but to be honest I am increasing less and less concerned about that.

Today I have been feeling much better, my neck is nowhere near as stiff, and I am a bit more mobile. My rib still hurts, especially if I do something unwise, but as long as I take some pain killers I seem to be functioning much more. I have a quiz night to attend, so I think I'd better have a shower and get dressed ~ which is more than I managed yesterday!

Advent Calendar XI

 

I note that over on Femulate Stana has been writing about hem lines, now I'm not as tall as Stana, and of course now I am no longer cross dressing I have a rather different relationship with clothes, however I do still find I have the same problem with hemlines. At 5'10" I am no amazon but I am on the tall side, sufficiently so that dress and skirt hems are often higher on me than the designer intended. I hate having anything knee length, it feels neither one thing nor the other, just hanging there indecisively. So I will always go for something that is either short, or long ~ although in all honesty until I lose a few more kilos I will remain mostly in leggings!

My old blogging friend Meg commented that "Speeches should be like skirts, long enough to cover everything, but short enough to hold the audience's attention", this reminded me of an occasion many years ago when I was asked to make a short speech of welcome, I was pretty much out of ideas, and even on the day I didn't know what to say, so I ended standing up and just saying

"If "brevity is the soul of wit" then this may well be the funniest speech you will have ever heard. Welcome!" and then I sat down. They did make me do some more later but I suspect most people who were there will only remember that bit.

Advent Calendar IV

 Advent Calendars come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, I note that increasingly few seem to have any sort of relationship with Christmas! I was quite pleased to find this picture of an advent calendar on line as it is very much the sort of thing that I grew up with in the 1960s. Of course my blog advent calendar is a bit different, although I do hope that there will be some small treats behind each day's "door" it is primarily about posting every day in the build up to Christmas.

This is largely about making some sort of commitment to writing, to you my readers, and to myself ~ as a form of self discipline, not one of my greater qualities!

1st obligatory Betty Boop picture

About a month ago I wrote about trying to get a bit fitter, well I have just got back from the gym, a phrase that is still uneasy on my lips, and I can report that there have been some improvements, I'm not going to share measurements as my vital statistics don't make particularly happy reading, but I will share that according to the scales in the ladies changing room I have now lost a whopping five kilograms! In the last few weeks as well as my excursions to the gym I have also been trying to drink a bit less and to eat a bit better, nothing too drastic, small adjustments rather than massive changes, and they appear to be paying off. As well as the story of the scales I must say I am feeling better for it as well.

So, as well as making a commitment to writing more, and more regularly I am also making a commitment to getting fitter and losing some of my still considerable excess weight.

A Dark Day

 

A lot of my friends from the USA are very worried, Stana at Femulate has "Gone Dark" and is shutting the leading cross dressing blog down, as she doesn't want to encourage people into danger, others have adopted the all black square as their profile pictures on social media. I suspect many would now be leaving the Country if they had the option. Many of us feared that the presidential election would go the way it has, but I think few thought that it would be as comprehensive, nor that both Houses would also come under Republican control. Personally I am still reeling, even though this should have little direct impact on my life here in the UK, it may even push us back closer to Europe which I would only view as a positive.

We know that Trump now has power beyond most presidents dreams, we know the contempt he has for women, LGBT+ people, people with disabilities, in short anyone who isn't an able bodied white heterosexual man ~ what we don't know is what he will do about it. I suspect that he himself doesn't yet know and that uncertainty just adds further to the fear.

As an observer this has been a fascinating campaign the Vice President appeared to run an excellent, if short, campaign, the President appeared to make multiple blunders but maintain support and momentum. On Tuesday evening I stayed up with a friend and a bottle of Jack Daniels to watch the TV coverage as results started to come in. It was hard to believe what we were watching, nobody and nothing had prepared us for the scale of the victory, we woke up on Wednesday hung over and a little despondent. I'm still trying to work out what this says about America, but I am sure that it is nothing good. I am also sure that I will not be visiting anytime soon!

Tomorrow is Remembrance Sunday, when we remember all of those, of all nations, who have fallen in war, at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month we remember, we remember in the hope that that if we remember we will not engage again. WW1 was know as the "War to end Wars" at the time nobody could conceive that the World would forget the horrors of war would be inflicted on the World again ~ we were wrong, there has been war somewhere ever since. As we commemorate the fallen tomorrow we have to be aware that we are closer to another World War than we have ever been since 1945

Updates

The more eagle eyed amongst you may have noticed a couple of changes to Paula's Place, I have updated the links to other Blogs on the left hand side and I have added a page!

My Music is where I am sharing my arrangements and original compositions ~ mostly for Concert Band or Brass Band, but there are also a couple of odd chamber works for various groups. These are just the ones I have published, and I will be adding to them as I publish more and more of my work. I just started typing "As I move further into my retirement" but I don't think retirement is really the correct term. "Retirement" suggest stopping work, my plan is to continue to work, just at different things in different ways, without the same economic imperative to earn money from everything I do. Arranging and composition are prime examples I don't anticipate earning much from this work, I just hope a few people will choose to play some of it.

On a more personal note I mentioned here that an old health issue had reared it's ugly head again. Back at the beginning of August I played at a band summer school, five days of intensive playing, at the end of the course my right wrist was becoming sore, on the drive home it swelled up and became very sore, enough to restrict my ability to use that hand. I was then home for a week before going away again, but for all of that week my Doctor's on line triage system was not working and they will only give emergency appointments if phoned at 8:00 a.m. Gradually my wrist seemed to improve so I stopped worrying about it, by the time I went on holiday it felt fine, but then it all blew up again. I have now done some conducting and it was fine, I have played the euphonium and it was fine, I have played trombone in the Orchestra, no problems. Last night I tried to play the tuba, big problems!

I have now been in contact with my Doctor and the best they can offer is to see their physiotherapist, but the first available appointment is not for two weeks! The trouble is that I am now convinced that this is an RSI from playing the tuba, but I don't know what to do, do I exercise it and paly a bit regularly, do I give it total rest, or do I just avoid playing the tuba? Should I use ice, or heat? The biggest worry is not knowing.

One of my take aways from this is that even though we moan that Trans people are neglected by the NHS, or how much people with Fibromyalgia or EDS are miss understood or ignored, it makes me realise that the NHS is broken and at the moment is serving nobody well. I think the main thing I will be judging our new Labour Government on over their next five years in power is going to be the state of the NHS.

Stuff

Following the announcement in my last post I realised that it was high time I thought about changing the Strap Line on this Blog, after all if I'm no longer a working Gardener can I really still claim to be "The World's leading Transgender Conductor and Bass Trombone and Tuba playing Christian Gardener" ?  But that leaves me with the problem of how to describe myself, and my blog, since I have barely written anything over the last couple of years I don't really know how much is going to be about music, how much about my Motor Sport, how much about being trans, or indeed just stuff. Gardening is always going to be one of my passions so maybe I should just leave it as it is for while.

The eponymous Mrs T

I did do a Google search for "Tuba Blogs" and found nothing, Many years ago, in a previous life I attempted to write a tuba based blog Me and Mrs T, the Mrs T of the title being an old Hawkes and Sons BBb cavalry model Tuba. Why Mrs T, well, after working with one of the UK's premier German Bands for a Canadian Company in Seville at Expo'92 (yes really!) it was time to fly home. Since I had travelled out to Seville with the drummer in his car the journey home was the first time I had flown with a tuba. A seat was duly booked and a ticket issued, however to actually get on the plan a boarding card is needed, to get a boarding card a name is needed, so I just gave the name as "Tuba", then they needed a title! so I settled for Mrs. Somehow the "Mrs Tuba" stuck, and then got contracted to "Mrs T" The flight crew had often had cellos fly with them but had no experience of a tuba on board, after much discussion and experimentation she ended up occupying a full row of three seats, the only thing that still rankles a bit is that we never got her complimentary drinks!

Over the years I have had many instruments, yet Mrs T is the only one I have regretted selling. Indeed I have a constant eBay search for "Hawkes" just in case she becomes available again.

Inspiration

Yesterday I wrote about my little weight problem and how I had been inspired by a "Pearls Before Swine" cartoon, and then I lamented how I couldn't work out a way of sharing it. Well guess what? I've just found a way! so here it is.

It's strange where inspiration comes from, and where it takes us

Euphemistic?

A couple of times I have mentioned the stats we get from Blogger showing how many visits we get, these stats also show which posts have been visited. This week I'm a little surprised to see that four people have looked at one of my posts from April 2014, Euphonia, Euphonium, Euphonious, so I went back had a look at it myself. In that time a lot has changed, indeed almost everything referred to in that post has changed.

One of the stand out things is that I comment that I will be playing "as Paula" this puts it firmly into my "still cross dressing but trying to work it all out days", in those days I was as concerned about what I would wear to a concert as what I was playing. Earlier and I would not have dared go out and perform, later and there would have been no "as" these days it's very much just me.

My lovely big B & S
5 valve CC. Still very much part 
of the family since
January last year

Then I notice I refer to the "London Euphonia Orchestra" as a new orchestra ~ well of course back in 2014 they were new, but now may consider themselves to be reasonably established. I played with them twice before I lost patience with the inexperience of the leader and conductor. This is one of those many musical groups which seem to be founded primarily to give one person the opportunity to conduct. For us conductors I know it can be difficult to get that first gig, but this is not the way to get experience. I remember at the final rehearsal for that first concert with them the leader was still trying to sort out the bowings (something which should have been settled five weeks beforehand) and the conductor hadn't worked out how to set up his stand! I am sure that both will have improved beyond measure by now, but at that point I didn't need to be the one training them!

I'm not so sure about orchestras but I often muse that there are too many concert bands (in South London at least) as there are simply not enough heavy brass (horns, trombones, euphonium and tuba) player to go round them all. I suspect that a large part of this is the number of bands again formed to give somebody a conducting opportunity. In the last couple of years I know I have played in at least four that fall within this category. I suppose I shouldn't complain, after they do give me plenty of playing opportunities!

Not my new Euphonium, 
but one quite similar

Maybe if we had a few less bands then the ones that are left would be full of players and not constantly trying to recruit or poach the few decent players of the more "esoteric" instruments in the area.

Finally, those instruments ~ I do still have that euphonium, but only for a few days, and the big CC has gone, replaced by an even bigger but much less shinny CC. I have bought the replacement for the old euphonium, and have today taken it in for a service and a simple repair before using it in anger. Once I get it back I will be passing the old one on to a friend.

I have also recently bought a new EEb tuba, I have mentioned it before but haven't actually shown any pictures, mostly because I haven't taken any! It is quite an unusual instrument a Besson four valve compensating instrument, but with front valves rather than upright. I have only ever come across one other tuba player using one ~ and I think that was probably a different model. Designed primarily as an Orchestral instrument it works well in bands as much as it does in the orchestra. I'll be honest I think I'm in love with it, it just seems to work well in every environment I play in, and looks as good as it sounds.

I still haven't taken any photos of it so here is a stock photo of the same model ~ isn't it pretty!

If Not Now, When?

It is a big commitment having a blog, and making regular posts all the more so. Often I will find that I lack the time or emotional energy to come up with something, on other occasions I will feel a burning need to write about a subject, but most of the time I want to write but have to think through what I will be writing about. Series like my Lent Course the A-Z challenge and my Advent Calendars all help focus my mind, but most of the time posts will be triggered by something that's happened either in my life or in the wider world. Occasionally another blogger will write something that either triggers a thought or focuses something that I have been subconsciously considering already. Today is one of the later.

Jessie Hart

Over on her Condo my friend Cyrsti has written about transitioning later in life after realising that at the age of sixty time was running out. I know that feeling! This was something I had been thinking about already following the recent death of John Motsan. Now I am in my seventh decade I increasingly find myself thinking "if not now, then when" when I hear of a famous person I think of as more or less a contemporary dying, then hear that they were in their 70s, I often first think "Oh they were older than I thought" then realise that's only a few years older than me. I am determined to pack in as much as I can into my remaining years.

I recently wrote about my plans to compete in some grass roots level motor sport, I recently bought a couple of new instruments, I have also finally  restarted a course of facial electrolysis. This is all about my current attitude of "If not now, then when?" But sometimes it's not just about buying something, starting something new, no, sometimes it can also be stopping something. I have cut right back on my work load (I can't quite afford to fully retire yet, even if I wanted to) to allow more time for music and writing. I have also left the Allegra Concert Band.

After being their MD for over three years, and guiding them all the way through the pandemic I was still getting a great deal of satisfaction from conducting the band ~ and I like to think the band was getting a great deal from me as well. Unfortunately dealing with some of the committee became increasingly stressful and was getting in the way of my relationship with the band, and my ability to keep them progressing. A few years ago I would have stayed and fought, I am quite sure that in the process I would have lost some friends, but would have had the possibility of carrying on as their MD and pushing their musical progress. These days I just don't need that sort of hassle, I'm no longer young and ambitious, so instead I walked away.

What is the point of delaying? 

Realistically at my age I know I have limited time and opportunities, so I simply want to make the most of those I have left.

As yet unpublished

While I'm drafting my Blog posts the Blogger dash board show me lots of things I can do with it, different font styles and sizes, bold, italic or underlined text, pictures, links all sorts of things, then there's a button on the top right hand corner just marked "Publish". It's very easy all I have to do is write something, maybe add a pretty picture click the publish button and then hope that somebody will read it.

Over the years I've had a few articles published in print ~ mostly trade press about textiles recycling ~ and on the odd occasion I have had odd bits of stuff published on other sites

As far as I can see it's not so easy with my music, I now have a few original works and several arrangements that I think are worth playing, and that I'm sure other people would enjoy. The problem is how do I get them published? None of the music publishers I have contacted have shown any interest at all, not even accepting submissions. I'm thinking about going in for self publishing, but since the object is to actually get the music played I do wonder just how many people would be aware of my work never mind want to buy purchase copies.

One of my as yet unpublished works

"Borderlands"

I do have a couple of friend who self publish and do manage to get a few pieces out there ~ this is increasingly looking like the only option open to me. If I were a singer/song writer or a rock musician I could put up a few You Tube videos etc. and hope for some interest through them but it's not so easy when for a lot of my work I would need a full Concert band of about 40 people to make them work.

I would seriously welcome any advise, after all there's no pointing in writing music if nobody ever gets to hear it!

Update

 Very occasionally I actually read my own blog! Today I was browsing through trying to work out when I had written about something, and I found an error on my post of the 19th January 2023 "Scottish Reforms" not a factual or indeed grammatical error, no I had added a link that didn't work ~ I have now amended it so the link works, I will also add it here 

https://www.scottishwomensrightscentre.org.uk/news/news/a-statement-from-scottish-civil-society-organisations-on-the-uk-governments-intervention-o/?s=09

The eagle eyed amongst you will also have noted that I have added another blog to the list on the left of "Friends I like to visit" I have been reading Joanne's blog for a while and thought it about time I added her.

A round up

Blogging may seem a bit old fashioned to some (clearly not you, as you are reading one!) I rather like the longer form it offers compared to social media in general. It allows me to take a thought or experience and work it through, I also like reading other people blogs, especially now I have a bit more time. There are all sorts of blogs, political, car based, music ones, etc. and of course there are the transgender bloggers. Some are from cross dressers ~ as indeed was I when Paula's Place started up ~ others deal specifically with trans issues and experiences, others like mine, deal with all sorts of things including being trans.

I have just had a look through a few and am enjoying the diversity. Assigned Male is a cartoon blog, but the cartoons deal with trans issues often the stupidity or misunderstanding of those who oppose transgender people and our rights to occupy any place in society. Sophie Labelle also produces books of her work and does speaking tours ~ sometimes against vocal and even violent opposition, so that she manages to maintain so much humour in her work is brilliant.

On the other hand Clare Flourish is writing about the latest attack on trans rights by our own government here in the UK. As the Scottish Government update their procedure for Gender Recognition in the face of the vocal and nasty "Gender Critical" movement the UK Government is looking at ways of over ruling them. Of course any sort of examination of the UK Governments position shows it to be nonsensical, I rather like the way Clare addresses this.

Over at Being Me Joanne is appalled about McGill University in Canada inviting a speaker from the UK's very own Trans Hate Group the LGB Alliance.  By contrast Rhonda is writing about the on field violence of American Football.

All this before I mention my old friends (see the selection on the left) Joey, Stana, Cyrsti, or indeed the wonderful Sophie; and finally there is A E Brain, who may not post often, but has the best line in her About Me "Actually I am a rocket scientist". As I might have observed before the thing about Transgender people is that we're just like everybody else ~ we're all different!

Femulate

 I'm sure that a lot of my visitors will be familiar with Stana's Blog "Femulate", it is probably the leading international blog about cross dressing ~ I started following Stana a good couple of decades ago and still have a link to Femulate on my side bar under "Friends I like to visit" On the stats provided by blogger I often see that many of the people who come to Paula's Place come via Femulate, it's a little reminder of why many of you visit here.

Well enough ambling around a little while back she asked for Christmas Photos of readers, so I thought I would send her one of mine, and here it is featured on Femulate, a blog that has had over a million "hits" 

Does that make me famous?

And I'm Back

I am perfectly prepared to claim that I am back by popular demand!

I recently took part in a young people's on line "Ask me Anything" session, it was a fascinating experience, and even though it was an LGBT+ group many of the questions were not ones I expected, at least one was "Why did I stop Blogging?" the answer was simply time!

Another recent development was an old ~ or should I say long standing? ~ friend found this blog post https://paula-paulasplace.blogspot.com/2015/02/get-with-program.html about my old youth orchestra the Croydon Youth Philharmonic Orchestra or CYPO for short. They shared the post on their own social media and there was a flurry of activity that has put me in touch with some more old friends. I think this might now be the most commented on post here. Given that next year is the 50th anniversary of this our inaugural concert (the subject of this post) and I was one of the very youngest in the orchestra we are all getting pretty old by now.

I have always led a bit of a charmed, or if you prefer blessed, life, first off I was born in September, making me one of the oldest in my school year, so in sport I was always one of the largest and strongest in my year group ~ a major advantage in my chosen sports ~ it also gives a bit of an academic advantage, although with my dyslexia I didn't really milk that particular one very well. I also managed to choose to play an instrument that nobody else in the Borough wanted to play, so I was able to join both the Schools Band and the Youth Orchestra way before I was really good enough. This meant that I had the benefit of sitting  next to to much better players and learning from some great tutors from a very early stage in my musical life.

It is that musical life that I am now hoping to concentrate a bit more on. I have cut my gardening business right back so there will be less pretty posts of the "My Office Today" type but I will carry on meandering through the various aspects of life as it confronts me. I am now MD of three different bands as well as playing to two others plus my Orchestra, so even though I might be cutting down in one area I am still just as busy as ever with everything else.

That's it for now, but I do have at least two other posts I have started and hope to have up soon, so please 

Watch This Space

Fashions

This video is now a few months old, it's of a concert we played towards the end of lock down two in the summer of last year because of the restrictions of the time we used a reduced orchestra which in turn dictates the repertoire. In the LGSO we are very lucky to be able to put on big works. Not many amateur orchestras can put on some the big works we have played recently like the Rite of Spring or the Leningrad Symphony. I was not playing in this concert, because, well Mozart and Beethoven! I did very much enjoy being in the audience, I think it was one of our finest! Sometimes I wonder if we play the "big" works simply because we can and neglect so much great music because we are reluctant to exclude some players. Personally I really don't mind if the result is this good!

As a musician I am one of those animals known as a "Band Tart" ~ basically a reference to the fact that I'll play with anyone! At the moment I'm playing with an Orchestra and one band, regular conductor of two and guesting with another two. As well as keeping me busy this gives me a chance to keep up with different styles and trends within music. One of the joys of being a musician is that even though I have been playing for over 50 years now, there is still so much I haven't yet played. At our last orchestra concert I was actually playing in every movement of every piece ~ that's almost unheard of, indeed I can't remember the last time that happened to me! Not only was I busy but there was not one piece I had played before. On of these pieces was the Florence Price first Symphony. It is a fine piece of music and the writer was a remarkable character over coming so much simply to get her music played. This week I have come across at least two other orchestras that are working on this same piece. The same happened a few years ago with Shostakovich 7 "The Leningrad", not played for years then several performances close together.

The same thing happens with concert bands, for some reason a particular piece or composer will suddenly hit popularity and do the rounds. At the moment Goff Richard's march "Barnard Castle" is particularly popular. In Brass Bands it is often the selection of contest test pieces that will trigger a trend but I suspect that in all cases is it us "Band Tarts" who will say I played so and so with such and such a band that will put the piece in peoples minds.

It seems to be the same in blogs ~ I have just looked at a few of the Trans Blogs I follow and have noticed a number of them are talking about motivations and experience of transition, not the process, but the motivations. I suspect that we all read each others blogs and get inspired by each other. Well I think for now I will resist the temptation to write about my transition yet again ~ as my wife once observed with great enthusiasm "Not every thing is about gender!"

At the moment I choose to look to the future rather than reflect on the past ~ think about the music I want to play next, and the next great adventure in my life.

A Post With No Name

It's been a few days (well ten actually) since my last post, it's not that I've been idly sitting on my hands not writing or doing anything, unsurprisingly I have found myself rather busy! Not too much gardening, but I have a lot going on on the music front at the moment ~ and that's the way I like it. In some ways it almost feels that as though  as I am starting to wind down my gardening business in anticipation of at least semi-retirement later this year a whole new career conducting may be opening up.

For the next few weeks as well as playing with the Horsham Borough Band in a couple of brass band competitions, a concert with the Croydon Symphonic Band, rehearsals conducting Croydon Brass and Allegra Concert Bands, building up to a concert with LGSO and trying to fit in some time with my Jazz/Blues band I will also be conducting the Phoenix Concert Band. I have no wish to benefit from others misfortunes, but I have been asked to step in on a temporary basis while their regular MD is unavailable.

Phoenix are a local band made up largely of "Adult Learners", there are plenty of opportunities for young players through schools bands and youth music groups, there are plenty of opportunities for more accomplished adult players with community bands and and established groups, but for those who are taking up a new instrument or learning to play music for the first time there are less opportunities. Phoenix is a groups set up specifically to allow these people space to improve their playing. This will be a slightly different sort of band for me, but I'm really looking forward to joining them all for the first time this evening as we work towards a concert in just two weeks time!

The big news all around the World at the moment is of course the Russian invasion of Ukraine, I do not plan to comment much, there are plenty of wiser, more informed commentators around to do that, until one of them would have been my friend Sophie. Only recently did I add a link to her blog here, her foul mouthed comments and rants were always underlaid with wisdom, knowledge and experience belying some of her rather punk vocabulary. Over the last couple of years we grew to know each other better as I was pleased to be able to help her as her mobility became more limited. I knew she was not well ~ as did all her friends, but it still came as a great shock to us all to hear that she had died quite suddenly last week. All of us who knew her will miss her rambling random phone calls, her iconoclastic rants and her very good company.

I will leave the link here for a while yet, I just don't want to "delete her"

Time to get angry!

 Wealth of world's 10 richest men doubled in pandemic, Oxfam says - BBC News

If this article on the BBC website doesn't make you angry, upset, or simply incredulous then I'm sorry to say it but there's something wrong with you! The inequalities highlighted are incredible, that even while the World is suffering and struggling wealth simply attracts wealth, power attracts power, while almost everybody else gets poorer.

But, I will admit that the first thing that struck me when I first saw the head line was that they're all men!

There are so many inequalities, between the global south and the global north, then between groups in each of those, men and women, black and white, but mostly between the rich and the poor. We often get upset by the oppression of the minority group we feel we most closely identify with, so a white woman may consider herself a feminist oppressed by men, while happily ignoring the racist oppression of her black sister. Yet, it is money that gives power, it is money that allows oppression, and all that money seems to still be concentrated in the hands of cis gendered straight white men. This doesn't mean that all cis gendered straight white men are rich oppressors, not be any means, but it does mean that for any one who isn't cis, white straight and male life is a little harder ~ or a LOT harder.

I don't want anyone to think that this is yet another attack on Cis, Straight, White, Men there are all too many in this country and others who fall into this category yet are in poverty, are struggling to work out how they fit into modern society, who struggle through education, who struggle through lack of economic opportunity, whose very life is a constant struggle. They are just as much part of the oppression by the rich as every other group.

Yes, of course we need to address all of these individual inequalities, certainly we need to address racism, homophobia, misogyny, islamophobia, anti Semitism etc. etc. etc.  and Yes we need to stop poisoning our planet, we need to find new sources of power, we need to find sustainable ways of reducing and disposing of our waste, but most of all we need to be looking at the big picture, the big picture highlighted by this simple illustration of inequality.

The rich are getting richer at the expense of the poor, they are concentrating more and more power in their own hands disenfranchising the poor. This is happening across the World, it is happening in every Country, in every City and every community. It's time to ask ourselves what sort of a World we want to live in, what sort of a World we want our children to grow up in. Those of us who get the chance to vote, when we have the opportunity do we vote to improve our own lives or the lives of the most vulnerable in our society, do we vote for our own tribe (as embodied by a political party) or for the good of the Nation? do we vote from prejudice or on the policies presented? It's time we realised that the vast majority of the World has a common enemy, economists, political thinkers and religious leaders have been telling us this for millennia, the rich are not our protectors, they are our oppressors! ~ and it's getting worse.

While I am thinking about getting angry the more eagle eyed amongst you might have noticed a new "Friend I like to Visit" on the left, I have linked to the blog of my friend Sophia. Unlike Paula's Place her blog tends to concentrate much more on politics, and politics as they impact on Trans People. I don't always agree with her, her style is very different to my own, but she is always well informed and insightful.

No photos, no cartoons ~ it's just not funny

Inspired

 I recently wrote a post about Pioneers, siting the late April Ashley and Roberta Cowell, indeed I have been writing a lot more these last couple of weeks than I have for some time. I suppose part of that is simply that at this rather dead time of year work wise I simply have more time to write, and let's be honest I do rather enjoy writing. 

But I had fallen into the, "I'll just do something every now and then when I feel like" state of mind. Now a daily blog like Femulate or Cyrsti's Condo is a big commitment and not one I am prepared to make. But it has been brought to my attention that our blogs can be useful, not just some form of self serving self publicity. At the end of last year I got this message from a reader

I have read through your blog in chronological order. As this seemed the best way to understand your journey. I have wanted to message you before, but wanted to understand where you have reached before I thanked you or commented on something that may have been years out of date. 

I had wanted to send you support and best wishes at numerous stages of your journey, it was strange to realise that so much would have changed since a post was made. I have just come to the last post you made. Your range of post topics, openness and journey have helped me think and realise that I am not alone. Your music, friends, family, work and religion have shown me how balance and people are so important. I came to your blog in November after coming out to my wife, in October. She has been so supportive and understanding. Your blog has helped me to understand my depression and the weight is starting to leave my shoulders and my depression doesn't win everyday. I am finally allowing myself to look into my true inner self that I have been hiding for almost 50 years. Reading your blog has been so helpful. Hearing your experiences has made me understand so much more of myself. I wish you well with your life and future plans. I understand that you may not blog much now, but please know that your actions and posts mean so much to me.

This means so much to me, it makes me realise that I am not shouting at the wind, it has also served to inspire me to write more as I realise that simply by living an authentic life and recounting bits of it we can still inspire and make the path smoother.

I Did It My Way

 I started writing this post way back in January last year (2021) it feels as though not a lot has changed since then, but of course in fact we are in a much better position, a year ago we were locked in, all activities, music, sport, and socialising were all closed down, and worse we couldn't see an end. Now we have vaccines, as a population we are building immunity, we can now look forward to a world where we can live with Covid, and live life as we choose! The 2021 bit is in italics.

 Looking at the heading of this Blog I see the strap line says something about the "Experiences and Adventures" well like everyone else I certainly haven't had too many adventures recently and little in the way of new experiences either. My last few posts have been much more personal musings rather than relating adventures! 

Looking further back I see that I have related quite a lot about my work in gardens, shared a lot of information about concerts, going shopping, holidays, photo shoots, a few jokes, and even trips to the dentist! Certainly a lot has changed, with me and the World at large since I first started up Paula's Place way back in 2011 Back then I was just breaking out of the closet, and it would seem that I was quite obsessed with clothes, and shoes! In those days I was certainly self identifying as a cross dresser, it would be another few years before I fully accepted myself as a transgender woman. Along the way I have shared some of my coming out experiences, 

In all there have been over 1,700 posts (now 1751) , over 650,000 (now over 720,000) page views as I have monitored my transition, my relationships, Paula's Place has been my confidant, an outlet for self expression and of course a way of keeping in contact with friends I can't meet up with; and there we have my main reason for trying to reenergise the Blog, at this time when we simply cannot meet up with friends and family we all have to have other ways of keeping in touch. This is my way!

It has been a strange year, but at least I have actually managed a few adventures, and have certainly had a few experiences. It is both a joy and a source of amazement to me that I can still have new experiences at my age, that there is still so much music I haven't played or heard, so many places I haven't been and so many people I haven't met.

I'm still discovering new ensembles and new instruments ~ my latest project is to write for a Bass Clarinet quartet, and my latest favorite instrument I don't play is the Bass Saxophone

This is "Sexilicious Get The Gas On" by Loud Noises

This is my new favorite band, I love the way the bass sax sits at the bottom driving the whole thing, they are truly excellent, I now want to hear them play live so much I may just have to hire them myself!