Journeys

we often think and talk about a process we may be going through as a journey, I might be said to be on several journeys at the moment, as I move towards being truly single again (not my choice); move on with my transition (my choice), and work at getting my drinking down to a more socially and medically acceptable level. But over the weekend I will be undertaking a couple of very real journeys.

I may have bored my regular readers with this already, but on Sunday I will be playing with the Croydon Symphonic Band at the finals of the National Concert Band Festival not only will we have the journeys to and from Manchester to contend with, but one of the pieces we will be playing is Paul Hart's Journey and Celebration (at this point I wanted to put in a link or embed a Youtube recording or something, but there just isn't one ~ yet.   If you really want to hear just what a great piece this is you can download a recording here. The other piece we will be playing in our 20 minute performance is Philip Sparke's Invictus



These are both technically challenging pieces for most of the band, indeed I count lucky myself that sitting at the very bottom of the band I have ended up with a part that is not too taxing, but still more than enough to keep me interested.

As I am sure you will understand the band has had quite a journey to get to this point, although we have picked up quite few high awards over the last fifteen or so years it doesn't seem that long ago that we felt lucky just to get a certificate for turning up!   This year we had to play at the regional Festival back in Early December last year.   Since then we have started a new term, have a few different players, some left, some joined, and have had to work up a couple of new pieces to festival standard (as well as playing a full concert!).

I am really looking forward to tomorrow, spending some time travelling with good friends, tomorrow evening when at least a few of us will probably be sampling some local brews.   Then I'm looking forward to Sunday morning when we play, I'm also looking forward to it all being over, hopefully adding some Celebrations to our journey, then the end of the journey, coming home and relaxing.

But then of course that will just be the start of another journey, and meanwhile all the others will be going on as well.

I've been getting it wrong ~ Concert Dress IIX

As I wrote here on SUnday I will be playing at the finals of the National Concert Band Festival, I have been practising (a bit) and will ensure that I am musically as prepared as possible.   We will be traveling up to Manchester together by coach tomorrow (Saturday) spend the evening together and stay overnight at an hotel.   Then the next day is dedicated to the festival and the journey home.

The dress code for our performance is the usual boring all black, regular readers will know how much I agonise about exactly how I will interpret that rather basic instruction.   I have worn LBDs, modest matronly dresses, fancy trousers, plain trousers, satin blouses, sheer blouses, even on occasion a polo neck sweater.   But a recent series of 9 Chickweed Lane makes me worried that I have been giving my considerations to the wrong garments;

This now leaves me with the question, of what sort of lingerie should I chose for Philip Spark and Paul Hart?

Horrid, hateful Builders!

Not very surprisingly I have spent the day working. I expect that is what most people spend their weekdays doing, my days tend to be a little different as I will see two or three different customers most days, this morning I spent a few hours with a lady of senior years, I pruned her rampant climbing rose and did a little tidying up before moving into the front garden to cut her grass.   It needed a bit more than cutting.

A few days earlier she had some builders round to put in a concrete plinth for a new shed, along with a step to make it easier for her to get into her main garden.   The plinth for the shed looked good enough, and for the step they had made up some shuttering and poured in concrete.   I can't say that I was particularly impressed with the finished item, it would have looked so much better if they had taken the trouble to use one of the matching paving slabs that was available there.   It would also have been a lot more useful if they had put it in a position so the shed door could be opened!

The builders had not bothered to put anything down underneath the concrete mixer, allowing cement dust all over the grass. I had to rake it all up before even more of the grass was killed, make repairs and then cut the grass.   It was only after I had finished that I realised that the had also poured their excess concrete onto the corner of a bed behind a couple of shrubs.   I was roundly cursing all builders! Their lack of consideration for anything except the job in hand and eagerness to cut corners to save a few quid!

At my very next job I bumped into the son-in-law doing some work there.   He is a good friend of mine, who happens to be a builder! He happily gave me hand, made a point of clearing up, and was noticeably meticulous about everything he did.   Talking about it we soon realised that it is not builders I hate, anymore than he hates gardeners, it is not even that our trades have different priorities, it is that we found we both hate cowboys who claim to be bonafides tradespeople, but don't do a decent job.   The trouble is that they bring the whole of the trade into disrepute.

So please, when you see the teenagers employed for minimum wage by landscape maintenance companies, just pushing around a lawnmower, or wielding a leaf blower so the grass cuttings go all over the pavement ~ they are not gardeners!

Game On!

Today we have got as far as the letter G, this has been by far the most challenging so far this year, and indeed, as difficult as any last year.   Not because G is a particularly difficult letter, nor indeed because I can't think of any Gs that are relevant to my life at the moment, just none that seemed to work with what I wanted to write about.

 I had more or less plumbed for G for Gardens as I spend so much of my life in gardens, caring for them, enjoying them and keeping them healthy.   I have over the last month or so taken on another three gardens, each of which has some interesting and unique features.   One of them has some pretty large lawns, a rose bed and some nice trees,   The only trouble is it also has some areas that have received no proper care for several years and I have had to put in a lot of extra work just trying to bring it up to a sensible starting point   I have also started work at a good friend's Garden, she has several nice specimen plants, that mostly just need a little care and freeing from the overgrown plants around them.   It is nice to work in a garden that is well laid out and has interesting plants, it is certainly a lot more interesting than spending a day cutting grass.

Today I have had a trip to the central composting site, and spent time at two gardens, at the second I raked several sacks of moss and dead dry grass out of the lawn, a horrible job but one that I know will pay dividends later in the year.

After a quick wash and change I was off to the final rehearsal of CSB prior to our  appearance at the finals of the National Concert Band Festival on Sunday. over the thirty years the festival has been going we have been invited to play at the finals nine times, and on five of those occasions we have be given the highest award.   Even though we have been there before, and have a certain level of expectation it is still a wonderful experience, and a real privilege to be part of this festival, and although the festival is not competitive, we still want to perform to the highest standard we can, and be given the highest award we can get.

This evenings rehearsal was "difficult" but that just gives us the opportunity to raise our level of performance.   I think we are all looking forward to our weekend in Manchester and our performance at the Royal Northern College of Music Certainly we are all keyed up to give the best we can, and enjoy the exterience, so that is why my G for today is GAME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Game

Finds and Fails

Easter Sunday is a very important, no the most important, festival of the Christian calendar.   Christmas is fun, Pentecost is fulfilling, and Good Friday is important, but it is Easter that makes all the rest fall into place, and show their true meaning.   Without the resurrection then none of the rest makes sense.   It is therefore important to me that I celebrate this festival properly.

Back here I touched on finding a new Church, well on Sunday I returned and had my hopes confirmed.   This week I did see my friend / customer there and sat with her, I also met a few more of the other members.   Everyone I met was very nice, friendly and accepting, the preaching is imaginative, but based on good solid orthodox theology, and the music is pretty good as well.   Last week it felt as if I had come home, this week it felt just the same ~ right!   I have come to the conclusion that God took me there, and I will honour that and continue to go.

Next week I won't be there as I have other plans, but that's another story.

Looking back over previous posts, I reckon it's time for a couple of updates, first amongst other things I wrote here about my drinking, I have started taking action, and starting this week I will be making sure that I have at least one alcohol free day each week, and limiting the quantity on the other days.   Yesterday was a booze free day so I am off to a decent start.

A few days before that I wrote about my weight, perhaps not unlinked, and my aim of losing over a stone in a month, well it doesn't look as if I am going to manage it.   I am still over the 12 stone mark so will be unlikely to get down to 11 stone 7 pounds by the weekends, however I will be very happy if I manage to get below 12 stone. I will post an update at the end of the week, however embarrassing.

E is for...............................

Today is Easter Monday, and as it is the fifth day of the A - Z Challenge today's letter is E so as I am a Christian it would seem to be appropriate to make todays post be either about Easter, or how I spent this one.

If you have been reading you will know that on Friday I played with some others members of the Croydon Brass Band for a Good Friday Walk of witness.   Although there were a good number of people on the walk and we made a decent sound it was very noticeable how little impact Good Friday was having on most people.   The shops were all open and seemed to be doing a good trade, lots of people were taking advantage of having a day off indeed this was the very image of a thriving multi cultural high street.

Previous years we have had a Police escort and walked down the road, admittedly holding up traffic and being a bit of an inconvenience, but not impact unduly on the shops and shoppers.   I understand that the organisers filled in all the official forms and paid the fee to Croydon Council to have the road closed for our walk, but apparently the Police no longer had sufficient funding to provide our escort, so we had to walk on the pavement.   Personally I think we could have still walked on the roadway with our own marshalls, but I was no making the decisions.

It does seem incredible that the Police could not manage to provide an escort for such a large portion of the local community.   Some see this as the increasing secularization of our society and the marginalisation of Christianity, and the same people of course also consider this to be a "Bad Thing".   I am not so sure, about either.   I suspect that as less people attend Church or claim to be Christians because it is socially advantageous, then those who do go to Church and publicly witness to their faith are more likely to have a genuine faith.   I also believe that if we are to have freedom to practise our faith then we need to provide that same freedom to others to practise there their faith.

I think I see this more as an example of how the government's spend cuts have gone too far.

After the walk I did drive down to Cardiff, and it was a truly awful journey, the roads were very busy with many, many families again taking advantage of the holiday to get away.   The heavy traffic on the M4 was punctuated with some examples of dreadful driving, probably brought on by the heavy traffic ( I wish people would remember that they do not get stuck in traffic, they are traffic), although I saw no accidents myself, there was one I only just missed and the outfall of several others.   Through all this I saw no Police cars, and I know that in Wales there are no longer any dedicated Motorway patrols.   I am sure that the odd Police presence concentrates the minds of drivers, and makes the ever increasing regulations more enforceable.   This is just another example of insufficient funding for the job we want done.

We are about to face a General Election where the main difference between the main parities seems to be the amount they want to reduce public spending by.   How little we can manage to get away with spending to provide the minimum levels of service.   We have institutes of Excellence, we have targets and aspirations to being the best yet are unwilling to spend the money to provide it.   Whether it's Education, Defence, Health or Policing services are being cut, and cut, until at some point we will find that just as with our infrastructure, they will be beyond maintenance and repair and will either be abandoned or need to be rebuilt.   Unfortunately I see no political will to invest ~ in services or in infrastructure ~ and although I am confident in the overall way society is moving I do worry about what sort of Country is going to be left for my daughter to grow up in.

So my E is not Easter but ENOUGH, I have had enough of these cuts, I want a government that will commit itself to spending enough to provide enough service.   I fear I will once again be disappointed.

Dating and the middle aged woman

These days more and more people are becoming single in their middle years.   Whether it's through separation, divorce or being widowed these newly single people no longer seem to be content to stay as singles.   I have no statistics to back up this assertion, it's just my observation as see people getting together, or at least trying to.

One of my friends is particularly good at this whole dating thing, even though no longer in the first flush of youth she is a very attractive lady, whose bubbly disposition has come back to the fore since her husband abandoned her for a younger model (incidentally as so often happens the new model broke down, they're just not as reliable as the classics).   She has signed up to an on-line dating site and has had lots of response, some good some bad.   She flirts like a teenager (or probably better having more experience) has had a few dates and started a couple of relationships.   She is having such fun that she has been encouraging me to join in.

I have registered on a couple of "specialist" sites as the the others seem to have a very limited selection of genders to tick.   I have had several approaches, and indeed a couple of dates.   So far I have to say that I have had absolutely no success whatsoever.   I don't know whether it is that the admirers who use these sites are all creeps or whether it is just the ones I attract.

I also find that I have no idea how to flirt! Maybe this is another one of those things that I needed to learn and missed out on as a teenager, I am simply too business like.

However having said all of this I can't say I'm too bothered, there are more important things going on in my life at the moment, and as I frequently remind myself and others I am still married.

Cardiff

Assuming that everything goes to plan and I have harnessed the technology correctly, then by the time you can read this I will either be in Cardiff, or on the M4 on my way there.   While the rest of the world enjoys a nice relaxing long weekend, or makes the most of the extra time available to be part of the year's busiest gardening weekend. I shall be spending way too much time watching at tarmac go past.   In n way do I resent the time I spend with my Mother, indeed I would like to see more of her, it's the journey I resent.

Of the many marvellous road journeys we have in Great Britain I would suggest that London to Cardiff is not one of them.   When my Brother first moved there way back in the dark ages the Motorway only got as far as the bridge and after that it was A roads.   Once the drive across London got me onto the M4 (no M25 in those days) it was quite a pleasant journey.   Although rarely deserted the road was never busy, the Severn Bridge was an engineering prodigy and once crossed the A48 was a fun drive. One feature now long gone ut which I remember with affection was the Mole Grips factory at the side of the road had a big board which read "Mr Mole Says......" The slogan was often fun and it also told me that I was nearly in Cardiff.

Like Cardiff itself the journey has changed a lot, the big difference is that Cardiff has improved enormously, it is now a major political, cultural and business centre.   The old docks have been developed into a modern leisure and business center and the whole city has a strong pulse.   The BBC uses Cardiff as a production center and it is the home of Dr Who.

The journey on the other hand has just turned into a chore.   There is always too much traffic, what ever time of any day I travel.   The worst time is Sunday evening when the road is full of cars all trying to travel 5 mph faster than the car in front, which ever direction I am travelling I arrive feeling drained ad in need of a stiff drink.   I inflict this on myself today as I am was committed to playing this morning, and then again on Sunday morning, so my only real chance of seeing Mum is Friday afternoon / Saturday.

Lets hope that Saturday will find everybody in their Garden and the M4 will be nice a quiet. SOME HOPE!

Bottles

My appointment with the GID yesterday, went well.  This was just an initial assessment and so was mostly just them getting some details and background about me.   I did my best to answer all the questions honestly, even the one that most people lie about, the "How much do you drink?" question, this probably leads to as many lies as "Will you still respect me in the morning?", one of my friends who is a GP defines an alcoholic as someone who drinks more than their Doctor.

Rather than this I used the old Reginald Perrin answer, "Do you drink?" "Only to excess", the Doc was not amused! when I actually worked out how much I do drink and told him I realised that it was too much, and rest assured that he was not shy of telling me that as well.   I have been aware for some time that I should cut down but have now been told in no uncertain terms that if I want them to treat me then I need to show that I am making the effort and am reducing my alcohol intake.

Of course they also wanted some blood tests, I couldn't believe how many vials of blood they took, I am used to up to maybe two or three, but they just kept filling them up. Bottle after Bottle. I think they took very nearly an armful!  I lost so much blood that when I got home I felt as though I needed a drink!

Now I have to go and get my recycling sorted out, shameful though the admission is I have filled my recycling box up and don't have room for all the bottles, and so will have to take some over to the bottle bank.   I would like to point out though, that I did miss last weeks collection so it is actually at least three weeks worth of recycling I have now.

Appointments

So April has come around once again (as it does) and the only April Fools thing I have heard or come across so far is this from Battersea Dogs Home . I enjoyed this, but it was not the highlight of my day.

On Monday I had a phone call from Charing Cross Hospital, it was the Gender Identity Clinic asking if I wanted to take advantage of an appointment that had become clear? could I get there for 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday? WOULD I? COULD I? to me these came under the general heading of stupid question, I have been waiting for around 16 months since I first visited my GP. I have been looking back through m old diaries trying to find when I first went to my GP for some help , and can't find the date, but I do know that the first appointment I had as a consequence of that was on the 22nd January 2014

I have now walked through that door, today I had my first appointment with the GID Clinic at Charing Cross Hospital.   This first appointment is very much about  assessment and I wasn't expecting any treatment to be forthcoming, I wasn't disappointed.   I now have to wait till August for my next appointment (unless of course I pick up another cancellation!).

I really feel as though things are now beginning to move again, I have started the name change process, I have had my first visit to the GID, and very soon I should be getting some financial relief as well.

In the mean time, because my life is so boring, I have once again taken up the A - Z Blogging Blogging challenge.  Each day during April (apart from Sundays) I will be posting something with e subject matter relating to consecutive letters of the Alphabet.