A Day at the Seaside

Saturday was a day for a special outing, along with four other members of Trans PALS I had a day out in Brighton.   Of course you will know that I have had several days out and indeed a couple in Brighton, I think what made this one special was the company.   We were a pretty mixed bunch of girls, one transitioning, two full time, one semi closeted, and me.   Oh yes I nearly forgot, and Minnie!

We had a relaxed leisurely day, starting off with breakfast, then a wander along the front, followed by Pimms at the Brighton Music Hall.   The had a great band of youngsters playing some classic 80s rock, not too loud but very good, and an excellent girl singer.

After a light lunch we had a did a little window shopping, no major purchases, just meandering around looking, all rather fun really!

Later we had a very nice pub dinner and a few drinks with some good friends we met a Pride who live in Brighton before a mad dash to the station to make sure we didn't miss the last train.   We all felt a little sad to have to leave as we were having such fun, and feeling so comfortable in the company.

Nice Day For It

As I went through the blogs I like to follow I couldn't help but think that the stand out post for today, from Meg, today she interrupted a long running story to tell us all that she is now officially divorced.   Being Meg she make light of it and has put up a few related cartoons.   I don't know whether to send congratulations or commiserations.  

At times it has seemed as though we were travelling on parallel paths, so much of what happened to Meg happened to me at a similar time.

I am pleased to say that at the moment there is no sign of my following this bit of her path.   Even though my wife and I have separated neither of us currently has any appetite for divorce.   I can only speak for myself, but I still love my wife, we just can't live together and she can't accept my being trans.   I don't know where we will be in another year, after all two years ago I couldn't imagine us being where we are now, I just hope that whatever happens to us we can remain conected and don't forget all the good bits.

Today is our wedding anniversary

Holiday ~ Looking Forward 3

Until very recently I had never understood the concept of buying new clothes to take on holiday, I always had plenty of clothes, threw a few of them into a case and that was it.   Indeed back in my days of motorcycle touring I would save up my oldest and most tatty clothes to take on holiday and through them away as I went along rather than bring them home to wash.   Certainly I would consider the potential weather and my personal comfort, but that was about it, and I would plan what I was going to take in advance, usually about 24 hours in advance.

This time it is a bit different, a couple of pairs of jeans, seven tee shirts and seven pairs of underpants is clearly not going to do, and I have been planning my wardrobe since I booked the trip.   I have now bought myself a swimsuit, a black one piece, looking at myself in the mirror trying it on I felt that if I was going to be sunbathing wearing it I would need some suitable jewelry, so bought some big blingy earrings.  I hope I have solved the problem of "security" in a bathing suit, at least for the top half with the purchase of some Hollister Medical glue, that should keep everything in place and for the lower half I will just have to be careful.  Thinking that it may be hot I also bought myself a couple of "comfort" bras.

Comfort is the name now given to bras that are not underwired, padded, balcony  or overtly fancy, in other words what used to simply be called bras.   Every woman I have ever discussed the matter with has always expressed a preference for bras that are not underwired, yet wherever I look at bras for sale there always seems to be a majority of something around 80% in favour underwired.   This makes me wonder who is buying and wearing all of these underwired bras, maybe there are more of us out there than even I thought.

The turning of the Year

It's that time when one season morphs into the next, there is an almost imperceptible change in temperature and length of day.   More obvious is the debris at the foot of the Horse Chestnut trees as the conkers are scavenged by small boys and girls for their beauty and to play conkers with.

Yesterday I saw this Sumac tree in the front garden of one of my customers, in his back garden he has another, but the leaves are still all green on that one.   It is an odd season, some plants seem to be fully in autumn mode while others are hanging on to summer.   Some of the bedding is looking very tired while the pelargoniums are very much in their full pomp.   I have some cannas, one has been blooming well the others have put on lots of growth but have yet to start flowering, I still hope to get at least one bloom out of them.

Of course the main extra seasonal job is clearing up fallen leaves, I have got out my trusty old leaf blower, but most of the summer jobs continue as well, the grass is still growing and as long as we keep dead heading we keep getting flowers on our roses and many other plants.

This "Betty" will work as a wallpaper!

With all this it is easy to forget just how dry the last few weeks have been, indeed here in the UK the first half of September was the driest on record,   because of this it is particularly important to water you Camellias, Rhododendrons and Azaleas, they are currently setting the flower buds for next spring, if they dry out the buds will not develop and the flowers will be lost, just remember to use rainwater!

Little Miss Contrary

When my daughter was very small, (well actually she's still on the little side) one of my favorite things was reading to her before she went to sleep.   These were intimate times when just the two of us shared a bit about our day, I could devote myself wholeheartedly to her for those few minutes, and they became precious to us both, indeed they were the highlight of my day.   One of the books that I used to read to her was "Contrary Mary" the story of a small girl (well actually I think she was a mouse) who behaved in a very contrary manner.

I was reminded of her when I sat down for my dinner tonight, a couple of weeks ago I weighed myself and decided that I needed to lose a little weight.   Today I repeated the exercise and little had changed, I could still do with losing around half a stone before I go on holiday.   So why did I sit down to a dinner of two fried eggs, fried mushrooms, black pudding and bread and butter.   It was rather nice, but not exactly slimming!

And as far the little girl I used to read to, well I don't read to her anymore, but those intimate times we spend together are now the highlight of my week.

Spotted?

On Saturday evening I went to a concert put on by the residents association where my wife and daughter live.   As they are both very talented musicians they were both performing.   They were both brilliant, my wife sang in a scratch choir who had only had two hours rehearsal but still did very well, and my daughter sang a couple of songs, accompanying herself on guitar.   Two weeks into college and she has already had more performance opportunities than the whole of the previous year.

I could write loads about my wonderful, talented and beautiful daughter, but I'm not sure that this is either the time or the place, the thing that struck me was looking around at the audience, my T-Dar started to bleep quite strongly.   I am sure that I spotted two trans women in the audience.   As this for me was a family event I had to be male mode,and so felt reluctant to approach either of these ladies, In all probability they are resident, I wonder if I was right how does my wife feel about them?

Still Together

Just like the majority of British people around the world I woke up yesterday with a massive feeling of relief, the Scots had voted to stay on as part of the United Kingdom, however they did not vote for the status quo.   Over the last couple of weeks it has become clear that there is very great disillusionment with our current system of government.   Not just the Government, but the system.   Scotland has been promised and will expect more decentralised powers, in turn Wales and Northern Ireland will no want to be left behind, as second class members of teh Union.   As ever the main constitutional problem will be England.

A simple glance at a map or population figures will show that this is not a union of equals, England is larger, more populous and on the whole richer than the other nations, the Government is based in England, the Monarch's main residences are in England, yet England is the only part of the UK without any devolved powers. We have the Scottish Parliament the Northern Ireland Assembly and the National Assemble for Wales, and the UK Parliament made up of the Houses of Lords and Commons.   There is no assembly for England or english regions, and this may well be the nub of the constitutional problem now facing our leaders.

I am already hearing MPs and others saying that more power devolved from Westminster to National assemblies will not be acceptable unless it is even handed throughout the UK, but the problem seems to be how to organise this for England.   Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are pretty much identifiable homogeneous political and cultural entities, the same doesn't seem to be quite the same for England, but maybe it could be.   Certainly there is just as much antipathy towards Westminster in England as there is in the other Countries.

My thoughts at the moment would favour a separation of powers some like foreign policy, defence and maybe some budgetary controls would stay with Westminster, but with other aspects of government being down to the individual Nationals, certainly things like Education, Policing, and the National Health Service are already separated and could easily become the sole responsibility of National Assemblies.   We should have a separate assembly for England with different members elected by proportional representation and meeting outside of London, in Manchester, Birmingham, or even Coventry or Oxford, but certainly not London.

My worry is that we will lurch into some compromise lash up solution for the whole of the UK in order to try and stick to the time table for Scotland, lets take our time and come up with a sensible, thought out constitution for the whole of the UK.

Like a Pirate

Arrr me hearties, today we be talking like Pirates, right me hearties!

After all today is international "Talk Like a Pirate Day" and I feel that we should all join in, not for any good reason, but more because there is no good reason, indeed it is all very silly.
But I like silly.


To err is Human,
to Ahhrrrrgh is Pirate

How much does a Pirate get charged for his piercings?  A Buck an ear.

"I know a Pirate with a wooden leg called Jake"

"What's the other leg called"

Why do I like my job so much today? It's doubloons!

Holiday looking forward ~ 2

These days I am spending a lot of Paula time, indeed just about all my non family time, to the extent that I consider myself to have started my transition.   This means that there are increasingly few new experiences.   I have shopped, played, worked, slept, cooked, entertained, been entertained, been to the Theatre, Concerts and Exhibitions, I have marched in a Pride parade and have even been to Church, but there are one or two things that I have still to experience.

One of these is flying.

I am a regular reader of Call Me Meg a blog that Meg started when she decided that she would fly pretty, since then she has moved on a lot. I am also an avid reader of Kim's Blog Traveling Transgendered a blog almost exclusively about flying pretty so I have done a lot vicarious air travel, but no actual air travel.   At the end of next month this will all change when I fly to Malta.   It is my firm intention to spend the whole week en Femme, this will be the longest continuous period I will have managed and the dealings with customs, security and airport staff should help establish if this is worthwhile.   I have been through customs before, when I came back from France, but that was at the Calais Ferry Port which I suspect is a little different.

To be honest my concerns are less about customs than about security, I have made sure that I have booked in my legal name, and will have all my paperwork that way, I am sure that I will not be the first or the last trans woman they will come across but that doesn't stop me being a little nervous about the experience.   I know about not taking anything sharp onto the plane, and of course we now have restrictions on liquids, do any of my well travelled readers have any indications of what I may expect.  Will I be OK with silicon forms or should I revert to something a little less liquid? Does my handbag (purse) count as hand luggage or can I take a small holdall as well?   Can I take my epipen on the flight or should I pack it in my suitcase (I got into a lot of trouble with my family last time I went on holiday without it!)I have not flown much anyway as I am not a good flyer (too much like hard work flapping my arms) and the last few times have pretty much relied on others to organise things for me, this time I will be on my own.

Any tips from you more experienced travelers will be appreciated, as I am sure I will forget something important ~ a few years ago I forgot something very important, we all turned up to the airport exactly one day late as I had written the flight details in my diary for the wrong day, which is why I have relied on others to organise things!

A Good Day

Yesterday's experience at Wisley was very different from the one I wrote about yesterday, partly because I had the company of my good friend and supporter S with me, and partly because I am just so much happier in my own skin than I was six years ago.

I did have an experience which very much balanced up the comment I mentioned yesterday about the woman with a beard, on entering the gardens as a member I simply have to show my membership card and I and my guest just go in.   When I showed my membership card yesterday, for the first time ever I was asked if it was actually my card, I confirmed it was, was checked over and let in, S was confused, "Well who else's card would you keep in your bag" I had to explain that the membership is still in my male name, and that I took it as a compliment!

Rather than write a long and rambling account of our long and rambling visit to this, my favorite garden, or indeed quite possibly my favorite place, I will just share some of my photos of the day with you.