Boobs bums and sticking plasters

I do not have a particularly womanly figure, I have the typical wide shoulders narrow hips of most men, fortunately I don't have the typical beer belly of many my age.   To cut a more appropriate figure I rely on external help, that is help that I put on externally, in the form of silicone breast forms and hip and bum pads.   So far I have either relied on my clothing holding these in place, or have used double sided tape bought from the manufacturer of my forms.   This is either going to being a little insecure or rather expensive as the tape is quite costly.   A couple of time I have had a hip pad go astray, slipping down inside my tights, not a great look!

I know many of you will be thinking why not use the special pants with pockets for pads? well for me a lot of the point is t wear pretty things, and they just aren't!   I have been trying to come up with a economical solution to keeping my padding in place, and allowing me to wear the undergarments I lust after choose.   Well I am hoping that I ma have found that solution.

While shopping yesterday I noticed a product I hadn't seen before Elastoplast Spray Plaster.  A little of this sprayed on the back of the pads, left for a moment to get tacky and then positioned seems to hold them in place.   I am currently having a test run, (without tights, just jeans and some panties that do not cover the hip pads and only part of the butt pads) and so far everything seems be in order.   If this works out then I shall try the same thing next time I am out and using my breast forms, if not then I haven't wasted much.   I hope that I shall have something positive to report on this front soon.

I don't know what opportunities I shall have to dress over the next week, but next Saturday my wife will be out all day, and in the evening I have my support group meeting.   I don't know yet what my daughters plans are, but there may even be the possibility of a whole day for Paula.

As promised

 I have to agree with both of them

More on Christianity and Cross Dressing

For those of you not of faith or who are not interested in religious issues, I'm sorry if this post bores you, I will try to have another funny for you tomorrow, or later today.

Over on an On-Line Forum I belong to there has been a discussion about the conflicts we have as cross-dressers, for many of us the worse part is the disharmony it causes in our personal relationships.   However for a very large number the thought that it goes against our religion is also a big source of conflict.   This is what one member wrote, for background he (he identifies as a man who sometimes dresses as a woman) is a non religious Jew.

OK. So here is the biblical reference:

“The woman shall not wear that which pertained unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
Deuteronomy 22:5

But here is the beginning of the entry on Dress from “The Jewish Religion, A Companion” by Louis Jacobs (i.e a standard reference source):

“There are three biblical laws regarding dress: the fringes are to attached to the corners of the garments…that a garment containing a mixture of wool and flax is not to be worn; and that a man must not wear woman’s apparel or a woman a man’s (Deuteronomy 22:5). The reason given for the last prohibition is either that this might lead to men and women gaining entrance in disguise into companies of the opposite sex for immoral purposes, or else because of the need to distinguish clearly between male and female in God’s creation. In sixteenth-century Italy, because of the influence of the Italian carnival, men used to dress up as women on Purim and women as men, and the Rabbis permitted this on the grounds that, since this done, for men and women to wear the other’s clothes on Purim is not to wear the garments of the opposite sex. (see CUSTOM).”

In order to understand what Jacobs is saying in the last sentence, one has to read the entry on Customs:

“…Originally, the term minhag, ‘custom’ (from a root meaning ‘to follow’, i.e. that which people follow) referred to a practice about which the law was unclear, perhaps where certain details were the subject of debate by the legal authorities. When it was observed that the people followed a particular interpretation or ruling, the practise acquired full legal status. As the Talmud (Berakhot) puts it ‘Go out and see and see what people actually do.”

That is Jewish law is malleable, depending on what people do. This is how come CDing during Purim was allowed - because people were doing it and, as Jacobs, puts it the Rabbis were operating on the basis “if you can’t beat them, join them.” The idea of Jewish law as malleable may well be in the back of the mind of the out orthodox TS in the article **** links.

The other thing is that if you believe that you have some element of woman in you - and that’s the reason you’re Cding (as an MTF cross dresser) - then you could actually argue that the biblical problem disappears. After all when you’re dressing up you’re just wearing the appropriate clothes for that bit of your gender that you’re expressing at that moment. Indeed you could say the abomination would be to be made to wear men’s clothes the whole time, when you have this woman part of you that needs expressing.

For some time it has been of an academic theological interest to me which of the Biblical laws we choose to ignore and which we choose to adhere to as Christians, it is easy to say well those were for the Jews not for Christians (food laws, circumcision etc.) but others seem to have simply fallen into disuse by both Jews and Christians alike.   So I ask myself why is this one verse so important, it is not reinforced anywhere else in either what we Christians call the New or Old Testaments, yet a society which spurns much of the rest of Biblical teaching clings to this bit.

Personally I have given up wrestling with this as it applies to me, I know I am made by God in his and her image, I know I am loved, and I know I cared for and about, surely that has to be enough.

If it keeps them together

As you will have gathered marriage is something very important to me.   Of course my own marriage s very important, but also the institution of marriage as the cornerstone of society, aid readers will know that I worry about the state of marriage, the rate of divorce and how we can strengthen this institution,   Well this is one thought

Something to look forward to

The weather is beginning to get to me, we seem to have so much rain that much of the work I plan to do simply cannot be done.   Yet again I got up this morning to the sound of rain, and as I had scheduled a day of grass cutting once again I am stymied.   Often a day not working means a Paula day, but I'm not sure I can be bothered, rather I think I will go out to the garage and see which of my rotten old machines I can get to run and take the rest for scrap.   It seems pretty silly having three motor mowers that don't work, two chain saws that won't run and three hedge trimmers that won't start.

Still I do have something to look forward to today, tonight the three of us are going out as a family, this is quite a rare event these days as there seems to be less and less things that the three of us want to do together, it is even getting harder to get my ladies to come to my concerts.   Tonight we will be going to see Phatfish who occupy the middle ground where our tastes coincide.   Last year I played with Phatfish when they did a guest slot with my orchestra, this helped my credibility with younger members of the Church no harm at all!  

Grand Harbour, Valletta

I have always had the suspicion that weekends should be family time, but it doesn't seem to work out that way with us at the moment, I seem to be working, playing, or in Cardiff, my daughter is often out with her friends, in rebellion next Saturday my wife is going on a trip to Southend with some friends.   Next Saturday is also the next meeting of my support group so it looks like we won't be seeing much of each other that day.   Still we have managed to book a holiday, because of my work I daren't go away in the summer so we are limited to the half term weeks, we have booked a week in Malta in October.   We have been a few times before and enjoy it very much, at that time year the climate is ideal, and the island is not too crowded.   It will be good to be able to relax, and nice to spend some time together just the three of us, definitely something to look forward to.

Another Admirer

On my way home on Sunday afternoon I got a call saying my wife and daughter would be out when I got home, so I decided that I might as well stay out for a little longer enjoying my Paula time.   I also decided that the suit I was wearing, while suitable for a woman returning from lunch with her Mother was not so good for time in the pub on Sunday evening.   When I had a chance I changed into a very nice longish black cotton dress with white spots, of course everything else was already in place.

When I got to the Crystal Palace I found that the "Grape" was very quite with customers in single figures.   I had a bit of a chat with a couple of them and with the staff but passed the rest of my time reading a book I had with me for just this eventuality.   This has happened more than a few times, and although it is nice just to be out and accepted it would be better if these ad hoc occasions were a little more social.   As a lone woman I am never sure just how pushy I should be in striking up conversations with strangers in a bar, after all I don't want them to think that I'm that type of girl!

After leaving the pub walking back to my van, then some one did try to strike up a conversation, once again I find myself the recipient of a man's phone number.   Although this one was rather more acceptable I bear in mind Meg's good advise, I am married.   I also can't help but notice that of all the men who have hit on me three have been Black, and two Asian, no white men, also only one was nice, non predatory, about it.   Now am I seeing another side of men or do I just attract creeps?

Given that if my presentation is so good that I totally pass (which I doubt) then I am a rather tall, broad shouldered middle aged woman, usually modestly dressed and always wearing a wedding ring, I can't help feeling that these men are not seeking a "normal" relationship.

A little shopping trip, with radio acompanyment

I don't know what is happening at radio four these days.   I listen most days at the very least when I first get up in the morning and as I am driving around.  

A couple of items caught my attention, and I thought might be worth sharing with you here , the first was from a partially heard clip from The Archers, one of the characters is trying to get up a ladies cricket team, but falling short of players, so some men are to made "Honorary Ladies" ~ where do I sign up.   On Woman's Hour earlier today during a discussion on "50 shades of grey" one of the contributors said that in the 60s she "burnt her bra to get equality with men" well, I thought, I bought my bra to gain equality with women.

And on that thought I bought yet another one today, since I bought some proper breast forms I have spent far too much time and money on bras, items I had barely considered before.   Now I find that I have far more than I could ever justify, indeed I have many more than my wife, and she needs them!

As some sort of justification I did buy some matching knickers, and I tell myself that I bought the cardigan (I had been after a nice white cardie for a while since it doesn't look as though we are going to have a summer) and the undies were free with my Matalan cardholder discount.  This months special offer was spend £30 and £10 off, so I bough these undies, a couple of belts and a nice soft white cardigan all for £20 ~ not bad.

I think this cardigan will go very well with quite a few of my dresses, particularly my new pink linen, and my white spotted black cotton.

Can I choose both?

I meant to share this a couple of days ago when it came out, still better late than never...

She is trying to find out if her fiance is gay, but this pretty much sums up the eternal conflict of being a cross dresser

Sundry Sunday

Sunday ended up a very bitty day, when I (eventually) got up it was raining, and as I had planned to spend most of the morning in the garden I was not feeling very inspired.   I still managed to do  few useful things while spending some time with my Mother, the morning dried up as the rain cleared so I was able to get out and do some useful work in the garden before having to come inside to cook lunch.  

While lunch was cooking I had a quick shower and a thorough shave.   I didn't have any clean tights with me that I thought would go with the suit trousers I was going to be wearing, so I wore some grey stockings instead, this of course meant that I was also wearing a suspender belt, (quite wide waste cincher belt with six straps in black with some lace trim ~ as if you are interested) as well as the stockings and panties under my trousers coupled with a new mauve short sleeve blouse I had bought recently.   After lunch I was all set for my return journey when I heard those dreaded words "While you're here could you just...." in this case I was just clean the windows.   By this point I had put all my luggage in the van, and was wearing my M & S grey suit trousers, my new boots a short sleeve mauve blouse, and oh yes stockings.   And I am meant to be in the closet!   My main concern was that as I stretched up to clean the top of the windows the hem of my blouse would lift above the top of my trousers, making it plain that I was wearing a suspender belt, while my Mother was supervising the entire process.   well if anything was noticed nothing was said; I often wonder if Mother knows more than she is letting or is she really that unobservant.   I know at her age sight and many other faculties diminish, but surely she must have noticed something.

I would like to tell my Mother, but she has now got very forgetful and confused, and I can only foresee difficulties if I do.   Along with her hearing any social skills my Mother may once of had has long since diminished, she is bound to either say something wrong to the wrong person, or forget and have to be told all over again.

To travel back to London I just donned the jacket to go with the suit trousers, and of course the rest o my make up, jewelry and wig.

An Admirer

Well I got home safely after a whole weekend away from my computer and no Internet access.   I am always a little surprised at how difficult this is, I have become almost addicted to my on line cartoons and blogs, and of course not least keeping Paula's Place up to date.

Saturday started all too early, as it usually does for these trips.   As my wife was out on Friday night, I had painted my finger nails before going to bed, so they were already nice when I left.   As I didn't want to risk my daughter looking out and seeing a strange woman leaving the house with my luggage I didn't put on any makeup jewelry or my wig before leaving the house.   Sat in my van putting on the war paint, adjusting my boobs and all those other necessary little finishing touches I became aware of being watched.   The watcher came over to me and asked for my number, I declined but did take his, at least in part because I didn't know what else to do.   I am a little worried because I do not particularly want to contact him (not really my type and more to the point I suspect that he is only concerned with an, ah hem physical relationship) but I have seen him around locally and my van is currently quite distinctive, so he may be able to place my male me.   Maybe I should call him let him buy me a drink and expain that I am married and unavailable, or maybe I shoudn't.   Not sure.

Other than that my journey was most uneventful.   I have found that when I dress sensibly for a woman of my age, and appropriately for the activity I am engaging in then I am totally accepted, it is only when I am totally outrageous that I court derision.   So basically I was just wearing jeans, my new boots, black sleeveless blouse and denim jacket.   I did some shopping ~ nothing fun just Tesco's and had little chats with some of the assistants, the butcher called my "love", the fishmonger "madam" and the girl on the till "dear".   While I was with my Mother I took off my bling my boobs and my slap, but other wise I was in female garb all weekend, and no one commented either way.   And there's the point why should they!   I'm not doing anything immoral, illegal or that impacts on the life of anyone else so why shouldn't I dress how I like.