Holiday ~ Looking back VIII, the final frontier?

Thursday was our last day in Malta, and it rained, pretty solidly all day.   Indeed I think I barely left the hotel all day, we had lunch in the bar downstairs and I cooked again in the evening.   Making use of all he bits and pieces that were left I managed a sort of traditional Maltese Pasta Bake, after that we decided that we really should have bought at least one more bottle of wine, and so were about to go down to the bar, when Bob realised he couldn't find his wallet.

Fabulous Pistachio ice cream complete with pink mini cone

After much frantic searching we went down to the bar and enjoyed a few rather expensive cognacs, back in the apartment I quickly found the wallet in Bob's flight bag, completed my packing and went to bed.

The next morning came all too early, I had arranged an early flight too ensure that I was home in time for a rehearsal in the evening, none the less I would have prefered another few hours in bed.   As I was bringing home a few mementoes for some friends on the way home I wore the hat that I had packed on the way out.   Otherwise I wore the same mauve Bodycon dress and pumps that I wore to fly out.

It was quite a windy day so all to early I made the interesting discovery that I needed one hand for my bag, one hand to keep my hat secure, and one hand to hold down the hem of my dress, I hope I didn't embarrass too many people too much.

Other than my problems with the wind the journey home was totally uneventful, just the way I like it.   After landing at Gatwick and reclaiming our bags the passport control hall was packed, the queues went on and on, but since I now have one of the new isometric passports I could go through the automatic barrier.   I have a natural dislike for automatic anythings, whether it's self service tills in supermarkets or gearboxs in cars.   However on this occasion I did use the automatic option and saved about ten minutes against Bob going through the old fashioned way.   It also saved the possibility of any questions about my presentation.

So this was the longest continuous period I have spent presenting as the woman I now believe myself to be, what have I learnt.

• Not to care what other people might think, most of them don't care.
• The longer I spent the more natural it felt, I wasn't dressing up, I wasn't "Dressing" I was just getting dressed.
• Officialdom really doesn't care.
• I was very sad to have to revert to Him at the end, it now feels more like cross dressing when I have to present male than the other way round.
• Don't wear skater dresses on windy days!

St Cecilia

St Cecilia; Guido Reni

Today is St Cecilia's day, now I'm not from a Church Tradition that celebrates Saint's day because we believe in that all believers are saints.   I also believe in the priesthood of all believers so the idea of setting some believers up as being in some way superior to others is anathema to me. Having said all that St Cecilia is the patron Saint of Music, Musicians and vagabonds, so today is a special day.

This afternoon I will be leading the Croydon event for the International Transgender Day of Remembrance at the Croydon Central Library ~ please do join us if you are in the area anytime between 1:00 and 3:00 p.m.

After that I will be heading home for a quick change before playing euphonium with the All Saints Concert Band in Thornton Heath.   So this year I will be celebrating St Cecilia's day by playing music.   I do worry that as music is forced lower and lower down the priorities of our education system this is something that fewer people will be able to do in years to come.   It seems to me that rather than encouraging people to study sciences, mathematics and engineering, the arts are being actively discouraged.   It may be science and engineering that drives our economy and and builds our infrastructure, but it is the arts that make us human.

More to the point arts and science are not in conflict, just as faith and science do not need to be conflict, until very recently they were considered to be different aspects of the same thing, we need an understanding of the science we use to make our art, and scientist need to have an understanding of how art expresses our condition.

Sunday Morning, or the aftermath

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

I have already written a fair bit about last weekends excesses at the Way Out Club, I for one drank way too much, talked lots about all sorts of subjects, from Theology to Meteorology, via Brassicas and Monarchy, all in all I think I enjoyed myself.

Patricia Posing

As so often happens I totally failed to even think about taking any photos so those I am sharing are from my friends.

It was fun to be out, it was fun to try something different, it was rather flattering to receive the attention of some men, even if they were pretty relaxed, (as in "I only drink to relax, sometimes I'm so relaxed I fall over") 

Would I go again, certainly, but I don't think I will be making a habit of it.

Holiday ~ Looking Back VII

My outfit for dinner on Tuesday

Well, while we had a lot more holiday left and enjoyed every bit of it there are not that many more stories to share.  Tuesday was a pool day, I did manage a little swimming but mostly exhausted myself working very hard on my tan.   At first I felt a little nervous stripping down to my swimming costume to sun bath, but was very comfortable very quickly, that evening we enjoyed a very good fish supper at one of the many local restaurants.   I have something of a weakness for fish and the fish in Malta is always good, one of my favorites is swordfish steak, simply presented with some new potatoes and a salad  lovely!

Wednesday was another day for sightseeing, as the see was rather choppy we couldn't go on the boat trip we really wanted, instead we booked onto a harbour cruise.   For the small time we were outside the protection of the harbour there was enough motion to be glad that we hadn't gone for the round the Islands cruise.    This was a great way to get a bit more of the history of the place and to see the harbour side from the best possible view point.

That evening rather than go out I decided to cook and made a local influenced pasta dish, including olives, capers and anchovies, with a bottle of local wine and the rest of the evening on the balcony, I was a very happy girl.

Clubbing

First off can I remind all of you that tomorrow is International Transgender Day of Remembrance, I will be going to the event in London, please go to your local event, your support is important and you will be welcome however you dress.   On Saturday TransPALS will be hosting our own event in Croydon Library, we will be meeting at 12:00 for a cup of tea or coffee prior to the Act of Remembrance at 1:00 p.m.   Please do join us if you can.

Now; back to Saturday night, after getting changed at Patricias we made our way up to the Way Out Club on this occasion Rachel had decided to drive so at least we were guaranteed a way home.   By the time we got there it already felt pretty late to this old lady, but the club had barely started going, I bought a bottle of wine (to share between us) and we settled into some comfortable seats at a table that gave us a good opportunity to observe?

Well I suppose the first thing is that I really didn't need to worry about the length of my dress, several girls were wearing very (ludicrously) short skirts, or maybe they were belts, certainly no more than pelmets!   Some girls looked good, others should have known better, certainly there was a fair portion of mutton presenting as lamb.   Maybe it's my age, or maybe I'm growing into my gender but to me the girls who looked best were not the ones prominently displaying themselves, but the more modestly dressed (though definitely not frumpy) self confident ladies.

Then there were the men, this took me back to my teenage years when I would go to a club and hang around somewhere between the bar and the dance floor, not wanting to dance and too uncertain of myself to approach any of the girls, ending up just watching the dance.   Well the only thing that seemed to be different was that the men were older, given that they all knew what sort of club they had come to I would have expected better.   Some were downright slovenly in their dress, and others would have presented a hazard to traffic, but nearly all of them did nothing to approach any of the girls.   The other observation was that they all seemed to be on the short side! Maybe the girls were tall, especially in 4 inch heels, but if I am going to dance with a man it would be nice if he's taller than me.

Thank you and Good Night

I had so much to write about, Saturday night, Sunday morning, more about my holiday, then there was some social comment on todays news along with some very learned observations on the weekends Rugby internationals, but sorry folks.

My computer went BANG! still not sure what happened but it's taken me about two hours to get it working on line, and now I have I'm going to bed.   The posts and the e-mails and facebook will all have to wait till tomorrow.

Good night!

Saturday Night ~ Sunday Morning

I have observed all too often that there are less and less things I can now do for the first time, r even fr the first time as a woman.   Well I am also constantly surprised that there are still plenty of things out there for me still t experience.

Much to the amazement of many of my friends, family and indeed myself, on Saturday I went out clubbing.   Something I haven't done for somewhere between 30 and 40 years!   Of course back then it was very much "him" who went clubbing, and from the tie apse you may infer hat the only reason I was there had nothing to do with the music, or cheap booze!

For those of us who are not into a physical expression of our appreciation of repetitive rhythmic "music" the only real reason for going to a club is being "on the pull".   As a young man that was certainly my reason, so now going as a middle aged woman was going to be, errm interesting.   At first I was a little resistant to the idea but my friends Patricia and Rachel talked me into it, and then of course the planning had to start.

What should I wear? do I go for sexy, slutty or safe mumsy?   How do we get there? and home?   How much am I prepared to spend? can I dance? (this may seem like a silly question but the other day I saw a post from a girl whose male self never danced, but the girl loves to dance), and slightly frightening what do I do if I get chatted up?   With all my planning and preparation the one thing I didn't anticipate was how much time it would all take up.

Old photo from when I kept my hair in a bag!

We arranged to meet up at Patricia's and then Rachel would drive us up to town for the "Way Out Club" as I was going to travel to Patricia's on public transport I would have to change once I got there, so the getting ready process was going to be a long one.   As I had been out playing the previous evening as well a least I didn't have too much shaving to do and my hair was in a reasonable state but I still had to "get my face on" and sort everything out.   To travel I just wore jeans and a sweater with a pair of flats, for the club I packed a little bag with my bling for the evening, some heels I haven't worn for some time and my zebra stripe cocktail dress ~ this night I was going to be the prey, not the predator.

Holiday ~ Looking Back VI, Valletta

When I first went to Malta, many, many years ago a friend of mine who was an ex Navy Provost who had been posted there observed, "Malta! What do you want to go there for you might as well sit on rockery under a sun lamp with your feet in a bucket of water."

The Upper Barrakka Gardens

I have now been to Malta five times and am still fascinated by the islands.   It has the oldest man made structures known, It is the sight of St Paul's ship wreck. It has marvelous idiosyncratic architecture, It has it's very own cuisine, somewhere between mediterranean Europe and north Africa with a tinge of Barnsley.   And of course it has Valletta.

Inside the Cathedral

Caravaggio's The Beheading of St John the Baptist

The Capital city, Valletta is not only a World Heritage site it is also scheduled to be the European City of Culture in 2018 And as the centre for the Knights of St John has many interesting palaces and the most wonderful baroque Cathedral, complete with a couple of Caravaggios.




One further advantage, Malta has enshrined Trans People's rights in it's constitution!

View from Grand Harbour

Holiday ~ Looking Back V, Sightseers

By Monday morning we had already settled into our apartment and our roles, or to put it another way we were beginning to feel comfortable and at home.   After breakfast we set out by bus to the Maltese Capital, Valletta.  We started with a visit to The Malta Experience, this would put the rest of the experience into some sort of historical perspective.

After that we visited the Old Infirmary, St John's Co-Cathedral and various other sights.



Rather than go through a list of everything we saw, I will just a post a few photos, so you can see for yourselves some thing of the beauty of the place.

Stand Up

Generally when I think of stand up I think of comedy, and my personal ambition to do a routine in public, but today it does mean something else altogether, nothing to laugh about.

On the 14th November Peter Cohen (Brother of the 1966 World Cup wining George Cohen) was beaten to death after he went to help another man in the club he owned.   In response to this his son, Ben Cohen started the Ben Cohen Standup Foundation a foundation dedicated to eradicating bullying, by Standing Up to them.   Bullying in schools, bullying in the workplace, bullying in the street, all types of bullying, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, racist ~ all types of bullying.

When I watched Ben Cohen scoring in the 2003 Rugby Word Cup final I never expected to be writing this post, he never expected to become a Gay Icon, I never expected to be transitioning, we, none of us know what to expect.   But we do know that if we display weakness, or difference then there will still be a bully out there, somewhere waiting to take advantage of that to enlarge themselves by belittling others.

Lets Stand Up