I have been working from home today, or more accurately hiding from the nasty weather by doing some of my consultancy stuff, slaving over a hot keyboard. Spending time working on the computer has been teasing me as Blogger seems to keep saying "Well what about today's post then!" A couple of times I have looked at it and come up with nothing to write about, I have looked at a couple of other blogs I follow and thought about follow ups on what they have written, but none of it has "floated my boat".
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A random photo from last year of me wearing bifurcated nether garments |
It's not that my life since returning from holiday has been uneventful, far from it! rather that much of what I do is now fairly routine. Going somewhere presenting my female self is no longer an event, virtually all of my life is now lived homogeneously so going out wearing non-bifurcated nether garments is no longer worthy of note. I suppose that in itself has been changing the nature of Paula's Place, what I started as an exploration of cross dressing has now become much more of a general observational blog that happens to be written be a transgender woman at the start of her transition. Just as I have never wished to be defined by what is in my pants, neither do I wish to be defined by my gender, or indeed my position between or moving between gender. In the past I never wanted to be defined by my job, If asked "What are you?" I would never have answered by giving my job, to me that was always a different question.
So what am I? how would I define myself if pushed into it? Well I would certainly first of define myself as a musician, even though I no longer earn my living that way. I would define myself as a gardener, but I consider that to be a state of mind, or an approach to life rather than a job, for me it's more a question of doing something I want to do and then finding people who will pay me to do it; yet the most important thing that defines me is my faith, so I suppose if asked what am I the first answer would be a Christian, my faith goes with me what ever I am doing, whether it's work of one type or another, relaxing with friends or watching the telly, knowing I'm loved and cherished, that I never need be alone, that what ever else I may be I will always belong, is what gets me through everything else.
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