Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Stream of consciousness, or just rambling?

I have been working from home today, or more accurately hiding from the nasty weather by doing some of my consultancy stuff, slaving over a hot keyboard.   Spending time working on the computer has been teasing me as Blogger seems to keep saying "Well what about today's post then!"  A couple of times I have looked at it and come up with nothing to write about, I have looked at a couple of other blogs I follow and thought about follow ups on what they have written, but none of it has "floated my boat".

A random photo from last year of me
wearing bifurcated nether garments
It's not that my life since returning from holiday has been uneventful, far from it! rather that much of what I do is now fairly routine.   Going somewhere presenting my female self is no longer an event, virtually all of my life is now lived  homogeneously so going out wearing non-bifurcated nether garments is no longer worthy of note.   I suppose that in itself has been changing the nature of Paula's Place, what I started as an exploration of cross dressing has now become much more of a general observational blog that happens to be written be a transgender woman at the start of her transition.   Just as I have never wished to be defined by what is in my pants, neither do I wish to be defined by my gender, or indeed my position between or moving between gender.   In the past I never wanted to be defined by my job, If asked "What are you?" I would never have answered by giving my job, to me that was always a different question.

So what am I? how would I define myself if pushed into it? Well I would certainly first of define myself as a musician, even though I no longer earn my living that way.   I would define myself as a gardener, but I consider that to be a state of mind, or an approach to life rather than a job, for me it's more a question of doing something I want to do and then finding people who will pay me to do it; yet the most important thing that defines me is my faith, so I suppose if asked what am I the first answer would be a Christian, my faith goes with me what ever I am doing, whether it's work of one type or another, relaxing with friends or watching the telly, knowing I'm loved and cherished, that I never need be alone, that what ever else I may be I will always belong, is what gets me through everything else.
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