The experiences and adventures of the World's Leading Transgender Bass Trombone and Tuba Playing Christian Gardener.
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
Today is my birthday, and although it is not a "Special" birthday I do want to try t make it a special day. For the last few years, since my last "Special" birthday I have got into the habit of taking the day off, and on most of them I have gone to Wisley.
This is where I want my ashes scattered
Wisley is the home of the RHS and one of my favorite gardens, when I went for that first birthday off it was an early opportunity to go out dressed,, even though at that point my facial hair meant that the best I could do was some sort of androgyny. Indeed at one point I overheard a small child ask it's mother "Why has that lady got a beard?" a question I felt I needed to answer for myself. I could find no good answer to why I still had a beard other than that other people liked it. It had become both a symptom and a symbol of how I was living so much of my life for other people. As a Christian I understand that on occasion there is a need to "Deny yourself", but not to deny who you are, who God made you to be and hat is what I was doing.
Once again I will be going to Wisley today, however today I will be going with my friend S. She was one of the first people I came out to and over the last few years has been a great friend and support to both Paula, and Paul while I have been going through some pretty tough times as well as some pretty good ones. When we visit the gardens today we will just be a couple of middle aged ladies on a day out together, enjoying one of the best gardens in the world.
While I am considering what I will be wearing today I can't help but reflect on just how far I have come since those early first tentative steps out of the closet.