Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Monday, 22 July 2013

The end of the tether

Well that's it, this looks like the end.    Over the last couple of weeks my wife has been working really hard at reconciling me to our breakup, by being as estranged as it is possible to be while living in the same house.   At our counselling session we agreed some ground rules and compromises, I have done my best to make sure that I stick to these, and have worked really hard at being considerate and obeying these guidelines, however despite my best attempts it has become clear that my wife never had any intention of following these, just in making sure that I was as restricted as possible, I now see that neither she nor my daughter actually give a rats arse about how I feel or how all this effects me.

Two weeks ago I was trying to save my family, now I am just looking forward to them leaving.   I know this is harsh, but is what they have worked very hard to achieve and I feel I would be a bad husband and father to deny them.   I realised tonight when my wife ignored the arrangement that we spend Monday nights together that all her hard work had paid off and that I no longer loved her.   She has accomplished much in just two weeks I have gone from optimism to total dejection.   As for my daughter I still love her, unconditionally and always will but just at the moment I find it hard to like her, I have always found it hard to deal with rejection, but when it is from those you hold most dear then it is hardest.

Practically and financially I have no idea how this is going to work out other than badly, the one thing I can be sure of is that this is the end of life as I know it, but it was not by my choice.

I am aware that from time to time my wife reads this blog, and she thinks that our daughter may also, well if that is the case at least now they know how I feel.
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