Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Friday, 25 November 2011

A bit about me

Over at Crossdresser Heathen Vanessa has put up an excellent post on the difference between being a Crossdresser and Transsexual take a look here http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/ some of what she says describes me so well, that I thought perhaps I should say a little bit more about me here, well at least the bits that relate to my cross dressing.

I have come to accept that I am a Crossdresser, that this is something I am rather than something I do.   The last year has been easier for me in this respect as I have just accepted this rather than continuing to fight against it.   However I do not want to be a woman, I want to be able to look like a woman, I want to be free to behave as a woman, and better still to be treated like a lady.   But I only get to experience the good bits, and the leisure activities, and none of the more unpleasant physical aspects, or responsibilities.   Paula has no responsibilities, no job, and no ties.   Crossdressing is a bit like taking a holiday from being me, not a realistic representation of what it must be like to be a woman.   For me it is about the clothes, the appearance of being a woman or if you like the fantasy of being a woman.   As Vanessa says being feminine feels good and is exciting.

Then again I am mostly happy being a man.   I enjoy the physicality of my work, I used to enjoy enormously the physicality of my chosen sport (Rugby), I (mostly) enjoy being a husband and a father.   As I get older I find that my sex drive has diminished and that the compulsion to dress has grown stronger, I put this down to lower levels of testosterone, but I know I am a man, and although I may fantasise about being a woman, at heart I know this is a fantasy, and that I will not do anything that would lead to any sort of permanent change.   SO why do I like to wear women's clothes - beats me!
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