Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Is It?

I remember some time back my wife exclaiming to me in exasperation

"It's not all about Gender!"

Clearly this had a context, but not really one I need to go into here and now, the point is that my gender identity and expression are not the only things about me that are interesting, indeed I often feel as though that is the  least interesting thing about me. My recent absence from this blog indicate some of that, I have been attending to some of those other important things about life ~ family and of course for me music.

I do spend less time and emotional energy on family now than when I didn't live on my own,  I think that is natural as a child and as a parent, never mind as a spouse, but these last couple of weeks my family has had to come first.   A close second is always music. I have often joked that yes there was another woman in our marriage, it just happened to be me, but more honestly if I was being unfaithful it was with music.   I find it difficult to resist any playing opportunity, and if that leads to performance then all the better.  From all this you may gather that I have had a few things on, while none of them particularly momentous the combined effect has been to distract me from blogging.

Having said all that my friend Joey has observed that when you are trans everything is about gender.   This is also true, to a certain extent this backed up by my last two posts, and indeed everything I do, including interacting with my family, and playing music, is influenced by my gender identity.

I was particularly struck by this over the weekend, as the only Tuba at a play day in a band of about 60 I realised that there was a notable difference in the way I reacted musically to how I would have a few years ago.   I am firmly of the opinion that musical instruments do not have a gender, but I am also quite certain that the way we play them is influenced by our own gender identity and expression.
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