Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Friday, 30 December 2016

Not quite Dulwich!

I woke up this morning feeling quite distressed! I have deliberately taken some time off work to rest and recuperate from all the stress of the last few months.   As a rule I sleep pretty well, and if allowed quite long, I have never really lost the adolescent gift of indefinite sleep, so allowing myself a lie in every morning for pretty much a whole week should be absolute luxury.

Trebah, not Dulwich!
This morning though, I woke up suddenly, feeling confused about where I was, when I was and even to a certain extent who I was.   Unusually for me I had had a very lucid dream.   I was in a landscape I recognised (although on waking I could not place it) where I met the family of my first fiancée, they were welcoming and friendly (which should have tipped me off that this was a dream!) I was very much in gardener mode ~ I have memories of taking hydrangea cuttings during the dream ~ discussing and planning innovations within the garden they appeared to own (although again the garden bore more resemblance to Trebah in Cornwall than anything seen in Dulwich)

When I met my former fiancée she was just as she had been when I last saw her around 1980, I however was as I am now, yet somehow she still smiled her mischievous smile at me and made me believe that our romantic attachment was still a viable option.  

So when I woke up, cold, alone, in my tiny studio flat, in the middle of winter, I was quite distraught.

What this all means I suspect is nothing, but that thought does not completely console me.
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