Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Something to Look Forward To

I have quite surprised myself over the last few weeks.   I have always considered myself to be a fairly stable, well adjusted sort of individual. Maybe a bit unemotional, certainly a bit repressed and a bit self contained.   This persona has served me pretty well most of the time, although I would love to be able to show my wife and daughter how much they mean to me, my upbringing just hasn't equipped me very well to do it.

Well over the last few weeks I have found that some of my equanimity has been rocked.

With an impending move of home, lots of weather related difficulties with work, associated financial problems and the delays with the GIC exacerbating the emotional aspects of my transition I have found my emotions all over the place (and that's without hormones!).   On several occasions I have found myself close to (or indeed actually in) tears, on others I find that I struggle to find the enthusiasm to get out of bed in the morning.   Things don't get done, and that annoys me or depresses me, I find myself in a bit of an unhealthy cycle.

That having been said I do know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, the move will happen, my finances will improve and the weather will get better. Yet when I am feeling down none of that logic helps, what does help is my faith and my friends.

Today one of my friends posted this on FB

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 
Since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18, Hebrews 12:28.

Sometimes it is difficult to find things to feel grateful for, but a little consideration of our own situations will come up with something, friends, family, occupation.   After that we can start to see things beyond ourselves, living somewhere where things grow, trees, flowers, and grass; the sun comes up and for most of us there is no one trying to kill us!

The knowledge that others are worse off than we are does not improve our own situation, but at least I do know where I will be living for a while, that I will have something to eat and that my life is pretty safe.

I know that you will not all be Christians, indeed I know that many of you are not.   There are people who claim to be Christian who actively go out of their way to harm, insult and degrade others who don't agree with their limited views, I find it hard to accept that these people believe in and follow the same God that I do.   Jesus preached love, hope, compassion, but mostly love.   He went to those who society rejected and loved them, fed them and gave them hope, and lets face it we all need some hope, and something to look forward to.

Right now I am looking forward to the first annual London Trans Network Picnic by the Serpentine in Kensington Gardens.
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