Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Friday, 23 January 2015

Rivers Crossed, Bridges Burnt

I think at some point in the past I may have observed coming out is not so much an actin as a process.   Gradually we have more and more of those "difficult conversations", and so gradually more and more people know the truth about us.   I suspect that I am not unusual in that I dread these conversations, the thought of having to explain and possibly justify myself to people who should respect me for who I am rather than how I choose to present myself.   I am in effect giving them the power of judgement over me, even though as a Christian I should know and act in the believe that there is only one who is my judge!

I always dread these conversations yet they are rarely if anything to worry about.   Yesterday evening I had an area committee meeting of a Christian music organisation I am a member of.   A couple of the other members of this committee are good friends I have known and loved for years, one of them more years than either of us are totally happy admitting to.    Thinking about the prospect of having to get into guy drag for the meeting made every fiber of my being rebel, and I knew that the time had come where I could no longer pretend, so I made the decision that I would go cross dressed as a man but would explain my situation to the committee under "any other business".

A Chartered Wastes Manager,
not wearing a grey suit!
One of the members is also a member of Christian Orchestra that I occasionally play in, Again I was not yet out to this orchestra, so in the morning I went on to their Facebook page and made an announcement!   So what was I frightened of, so far that facebook post has had 104 views, and I have had five messages, all of support.   Every single member of the committee welcomed me and offered their support and prayers.   Today I attended my first meeting of the Chartered Institute of Wastes Management authentically, and once again the only issue was one old friend commented that he didn't recognise me until I spoke!

Off the top of my head I can no longer think of any group I am part of where I cannot now go authentically, there will of course be odd family situations, and the odd funeral where it may not be appropriate, but that particular process is now drawing towards an end ~ and I thank God!
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