Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Saturday 28 September 2013

Another helping of icecream?

Joey has been writing about how much (or little) of ourselves we reveal through our blogs, and not sleeping, well I have always suspected that I have revealed a little more about myself than might be truly healthy on a public platform.   And just at the moment I have a lot to reveal, don't worry this is not about to turn into one of those blogs, it's just that a lot has been going on.   Rather than create one really long post and then not have anything to write about for a few days I will be drip feeding a little bit at a time.

Friday night we had a six hour worship event at our Church, this is the second of these we have had, maybe I was predisposed to a touch of depression but at one point it dawned on me that meant twelve hours of musical worship that I had not been asked to be a part of.   I told myself that it was not about me, but about Jesus, that Jesus is the Centre, and that I should be sorry for what I had made it (if you see what I have done there, well done!) but I found it very difficult to shake off the depression, after nearly three hours I was feeling tired and went home.

After a little television I went to bed, but just couldn't get to sleep, I couldn't stop the feelings of rejection ricocheting around my mind.   In the end I came downstairs and watched some more TV programmes (including the excellent Hornblower)  I had recorded.    Although I had dinner earlier before going out I did do a bit of snacking, this may be the best indication of my state of mind. I had
  • 5 packets of crisps
  • 1 bottle of wine
  • 3 helpings of ice cream
  • 2 choux buns
  • several glasses of brandy
  • some mini stolen.
I ended up going back to bed around 6 O'clock and managed a few hours sleep before having to get up.   I can't be sure what brought all this on, but of course being Friday there was not the thought of work the next day, I suspect that it could also have been building up since the previous day, which was our 21st wedding anniversary, some that was not acknowledged but anyone except me.

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