Friday night we had a six hour worship event at our Church, this is the second of these we have had, maybe I was predisposed to a touch of depression but at one point it dawned on me that meant twelve hours of musical worship that I had not been asked to be a part of. I told myself that it was not about me, but about Jesus, that Jesus is the Centre, and that I should be sorry for what I had made it (if you see what I have done there, well done!) but I found it very difficult to shake off the depression, after nearly three hours I was feeling tired and went home.
After a little television I went to bed, but just couldn't get to sleep, I couldn't stop the feelings of rejection ricocheting around my mind. In the end I came downstairs and watched some more TV programmes (including the excellent Hornblower) I had recorded. Although I had dinner earlier before going out I did do a bit of snacking, this may be the best indication of my state of mind. I had
- 5 packets of crisps
- 1 bottle of wine
- 3 helpings of ice cream
- 2 choux buns
- several glasses of brandy
- some mini stolen.
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