Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Saturday, 10 August 2013

Purge

I think most of us who are transgendered, transsexual, cross-dresser, transvestite or whatever else we might choice to call ourselves have experienced the purge.   In my experience this consists of a moment of rejection of what we do, brought on by consideration for others, pressures of society, or a moment of self awareness, whatever the cause the result is the same.

We go through all our "stuff" and throw away all our clothes, wigs, jewellery etc. etc. everything that is connected to our cross-dressing.   We are relieved, we have broken the cycle we  will just live a normal male life from now on (I assume that it is the same for female t male as well).   We will initially feel liberated, then we will manage, then we will struggle, then eventually we will give in to the inevitable and buy those cute shoes, or that pair of lacy panties.   Those of us of a "certain age" will recognise that this in itself is part of the cycle we go through.   I know I have been through it many time, too many times, before accepting that this is something I am and not something I do, That the clothes are an essential expression of who I am not the end in themselves.

Through these purges I have lost many garments and items that I now regret, of course it also means that I got rid of some unfortunate purchases that I was never going to wear in public.   Because of the sense of loss attached to a purge in my latest clear out I decided not to dispose of the rejects.   All my "boy" underwear has now been packed up in a suitcase along with my bike leathers and now reside in the attack.

Moving Paula in meant everything in the same place and properly organised, this led to the revelation of exactly how much underwear I have.   Because of the restrictions on doing laundry I think I often bought new when in normal circumstances I would simply have washed, I now find I have far, far too many pairs of panties, bras and tights.   At least it does mean I won't need to buy any for quite some time now, I shall now limit myself to replacing worn out items ~ unless of course they are really cute .

Don't forget that I still need your help and advise as to which dress to wear next Sunday.
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