Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Monday, 3 June 2013

Just as well I was staying In

Panic Not, I've been away for the weekend staying at my Mother's.   Following a fall she is recovering in Hospital again, this time I trust that a proper support program will be put in place before she is discharged.   This has meant that while I have had a little more time and privacy than usual to dress, I have also been cut off from the Interweb!   Mum does not handle technology well, given that a steam iron is too complicated, and the TV only get turned on when my brother or I am there and want to watch some sport, the possibility of her ever having internet access is simply not on.

While there I did draft a couple of  posts so this where I start catching up.

Saturday night, and I’m all dressed up and nowhere to go.   I’m spending the weekend in Cardiff visiting Mum, but she is in hospital so I actually only get to see her for a couple of hours over the whole weekend.   Mum’s had  a couple of falls over the last week or so and she is in hospital until she is OK to come home, and hopefully they have worked out why she has had the falls.   This afternoon she was very confused and, although she seemed ok physically her mind was definitely not quite with the rest of us.   This evening she was much better after a rest, but I still think that she will now need to have some visiting support as an absolute minimum.

Given that Mum is now over 90 none of this is particularly surprising but none the less a concern for my brothers and me.
Because Mum is not at home it does mean that all evening I have the house to myself.    I took the opportunity to dress for dinner, my first thought was to go for a slightly risky cocktail look.   I suspect I actually ended up with something rather trashy, or tarty, with a dress far too short and heels a little high, along with, horror of horrors, fishnet tights.   On balance this is not a look I plan to take outside but none the less fun for an evening on my own.   But there’s the rub, “on my own” somehow it now feels silly and a little pointless glamming up and then just staying at home on my own.

There was a time, and not so long ago at that, when I was happy just to have a chance to try on a few female garments, now I get all dressed up and morn the fact that I am on my own and not showing off to others.   Am I some sort of exhibitionist or this just a natural inclination to society and a normal desire to “strut my stuff”   Whatever it is I am sitting here after a half decent dinner with a very acceptable Pinot Grigio dressed up to the nines but feeling slightly, yes only slightly sad about being on my own.
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