Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Thursday, 11 October 2012


I have just got in from the pub, after a couple of pints with my friend S, I have fired up the laptop, and checked for comments.   Joey asked some questions, he does that, I like this as it shows that he is interested, anyway since I have put myself out into the pubic domain I think "the public have a right to know" so I will do my best.

First yes is it hard to walk in heels, at first.  Like most things there is a technique, and as with everything else practise always makes it easier.   I find that it is not so much the height of the heel that makes it difficult as the width.   If the heel is fairly solid from left to right then the height is not so important, something narrow is much harder to walk in, so the stiletto is definitely the hardest, that's why I rarely try to wear them.   I have one pair of shoes with an almost stiletto that I love, they are comfortable and look great, until I try to walk, they are what a GG friend of mine calls restaurant shoes.   When I was a lot younger and just starting out on this journey I found it quite easy to acquire female garments, shoes were the exception, I suspect that that is one of the reasons that shoes play a big part in my cross-dressing.   The other thought is the one that is encapsulated in the, if you want to understand someone "Walk a mile in their shoes" line.   What ever it is somehow the essence of a female presentation is for me centered on my shoes, they need to be comfortable, feminine, elegant, and yes it helps if I can walk like a lady in them.   It does my self image no good to wear a pair of killer heels and have to walk like a "navvy".

Then again he asked, "Do you get nervous going into restaurants etc. dressed to kill? You look great btw. but I just feel you must have so much confidence to do it. Let's be honest if I walk in dressed in a suit and tie and don't pass, people will just assume I'm butch, which kinda pisses me off but what I'm saying is, it's much easier for me to walk in dressed as I do than for you."

I suppose the simple answer is yes, every time I get out of the van, or go out of the house dressed I am nervous, but I force myself to accept that this is who I am, what is the worst that can happen (actually I don't want an honest answer to that one) and just go for it.   I know that I do not always pass in fact I probable rarely or never pass, but I have made a decision that this is who I am, this is how I dress and if you don't like it then that's your problem.   Having said all that I am still nervous, just like everyone else I do not want to be held up for derision, I want to be accepted, admired, and loved.   Ther is a saying it takes "B*lls to go out dressed like this"

Of course now I am also thinking of Joey in a suit a tie, I think I would probably be more comfortable in my dress, but the more I think about it the more I think it might be interesting if he took me out to dinner, and to see how the civilians reacted to us.   Of course I have to refer you back to my first sentence.......................
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