Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Just in Case

Just in case anything happened last night that I was uncomfortable with I made sure that we were meeting somewhere where I am known.   It helps that the Grape and Grain have a range of good beers and wines, some decent food and a nice atmosphere.   Again for my own security I thought important to meet somewhere busy, with plenty of civilians around.   I also thought it best that I drive, that way I knew I had my own independent way f travelling safely home ~ just in case.

Well,, just in case any of you were worried we had a very nice time, just a few drinks and a pleasant chat, a couple of friends getting to know each other a little better.   My new friend is a self admitted admirer and was very complimentary, at all times he treated me like a lady ~ which was nice ~ and behaved impeccably.   I dare say we may meet again when I have a chance but I have to stress that for nothing more than a sociable chat.   The evening was fun, not least because this is the first time I have been out with a man.   I have often been out on my own, with other girls like me and with my friend P, it has to be said that somehow the dynamic of being out with a  man is different still fun, but definitely different.   I worried a lot about what to wear, was this dress too short, would seemed tights be a it of a come on? would jeans be too casual? In the end I decided on my slinky black and white cocktail dress with high heels and sheer black tights, and to stop it looking like I was trying too hard a denim jacket.   I realised that going out with a man I had to be very careful about what signals I was sending with my dress and my body language as well as anything I might say.

So Just in Case any of you were worried about me I had a pleasant, safe evening, I am happy to say I remain unmolested, but had a lot of fun.

Tonight I expect more fun, I will be out to dinner with my friend and coleugue S, she has knwn about Paula fr a while now, but tonight will be the first time she will have met her.   I am looking forward to the experience of being out, spending that time in good company and enjoying some good food.  


Anonymous said...

How would you feel if your wife went out on a date with another man? Jesus says in the bible 'But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'

Also adultery is adultery whether it is with the the opposite sex or the same sex!!

Paula Gee said...

Just a couple of points, anonymous, strictly speaking adultery can not be committed between two people of the same gender, it may very well be considered something else that many find unsavory, but That is no longer illegal in this country.

More importantly if you do read this blog and this post in particular you will see that I am adamant in my faithfulness to my wife and in preserving our marriage, preserve your ammunition for where it can be useful.

Anonymous said...

By the way I am a natural female, a GG I think you would call me, with a crossdressing partner.
My view of adultery is someone having sexual intercourse with someone other than their spouse, which seems to be the widely accepted view. So how would you feel if the boot was on the other foot and it was your wife going out for a drink with another man or indeed a lesbian woman who found her attractive?
And I have read all your posts on this blog, including the posts about your encounters with your osteopath. If you were a woman doing that you would be called a **** teaser, I believe that is the term!!

Don't you think by living this double life you are in fact being unfaithful to your wife anyway, not necessarily in the physical sexual sense but in the trust that there should be between a couple? She is probably aware that you are still going around dressing and has given you permission to do this (re: your Christmas Support Group dinner)but you are still lying to her about where you go and what you do, have you tried to be honest with her about what you do? I know I would hate being lied to or disceived in this way.

Paula Gee said...

My assertion that adultery cannot be committed between two people of the same gender is based on arcane UK law, as has just been shown up in the debates in Parliament on same sex marriage. I agree that although it may not be a lawful ground for divorce, it should be and that it is as bad, or in many ways worse for the partner. You ask how would I feel if it was the other way round, this is an important question, as there is the underlying philosophy in Christianity to do unto others as you would have done to yourself, but you assume I do not know how it would feel!

I believe that much of my behaviour has been a symptom of the problems we have been experiencing in our marriage. Since we have been taking some counselling, and have both accepted that there are issues in or marriage apart from my dressing, I have found that my dedication to my wife has redoubled, and that my behaviour has become more "conventional".

I do wonder if I was just expressing a craving for affection that I was not receiving inside the marriage. I need to stress that there is now an agreed degree of honesty within our marriage, (a bit like the US army) we have found that lieing was the worst and most damaging part, I would urge anyone in my position to "come clean" and risk rejection for who and what they are rather than risk the outcomes of lieing.