First let me say that I had a very nice weekend, it is not often that my daughter and I have much in the way of time together, so it was really good just to be with her. We also managed to have a bit of a much needed chat about the breakup with boyfriend, I think the ball is now in his court, so I hope he does well. Of course during the car journey both ways she was wired for sound into her phone, and much of the weekend was spent the same way, but she did have time with both her grand mother and her father. So all in all a good time and a good thing. Since my daughter was with me I did have to curtain my usual dressing activities this weekend. I will usually travel pretty, and will often wear predominately fem clothes while in Cardiff, this time I could not, and I didn't miss it.
We often talk about the "Pink Mist" when we have the opportunity to dress, and embrace that opportunity a little too enthusiastically. I think I may have just been through period when the Pink Mist descended on me, far too much of my time was spent dressing, thinking about or planing dressing. Yet this is just a small part of what I do and who I am. over the weekend I was reminded that I could be quite happy without any dressing activities. I think the pink mist is rising. I know that this is something I am rather than something I do, I also know that like a tide the imperative comes and goes in intensity. I was beginning to think that the level of intensity I have been experiencing was going to be permanent, but now I feel that this drive is lessening a bit, maybe just for a while.
Don't get me wrong, I will still be attending my support group on Saturday week, and may well have an evening or day out next week, it's just that there are other things in my life as well, I still doubt if I will be able to resist a cute pair of shoes and I will do my best to keep my finger nails nice (and oh yes my toes nails are red) but I hope that for a while now it will not be the all absorbing obsession it has been at risk of becoming.
Paula's Place
3 comments:
Any obsession is a bad thing I believe. The reason my blog is about all aspects of my life is because in many ways I've reached a place of acceptance about being trans. There's much more to me than wearing boxer shorts and trying to pass.
As so often you are right, there are many aspects of my life, I suspect many of them much more interesting, maybe this is a sign that I to have reached a point in my life where I can accept this aspect of my life and get on with the rest of it.
Don't you think all of life is about acceptance? I'm realising that more and more.
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