Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Growing Old Disgracefully

Over on Femulate Stana quotes Anna N as saying "I have been a TG person since I was born, my mother brought me up as a girl until the age of five, then I had to go to boy's school. Believe me that was one of my first traumas in life. I have a Master's degree in Engineering, a major's commission in the military, been married three times and I am gay. My profile is on Flickr and Yahoo."

Anne just celebrated her 79th birthday and sent me some current photos "to show the younger generation of TV people that one can still look reasonable although they are ageing. ...one can age gracefully, without miniskirts and fishnet stocking."


This really chimed with me, when I was younger (well quite a lot younger really) a lot of my cross dressing seemed to be about sex, I think this was partly because that was the message society gave me, and partly because as a young man just about everything is about sex.   In consequence my dressing was very much secret and most of my garments very inappropriate ~ the sort of thing that I now tend to classify under the generic heading of "Naughty Knickers"   Certainly I would not have contemplated going out publicly as I do now.   Added to that my experience was that the urge to dress was always strongest during periods of sexual frustration or high stress; at the time I did not necessarily associate these periods without sex as also being times when I was not in any sort of relationship, as I said I was a young man.  

As I have grow older I find that my own sex drive has diminished (just as well really) and that the satisfaction I get from my dressing is much more about achieving some level of comfort and peace with myself than achieving some sort sexual relief.   This in turn means that as I am not dressing for any sort of sexual gratification I am not wearing the dodgy, border line fetish stuff.   I do have the high heel boots, a leather mini and some fishnets, but these are worn with discretion (or maybe jeans).   Certainly I am dressing for myself, not not as a plaything or as some sort of auto erotica.

I have pretty much decided on my ensemble for tomorrow (Friday) as long as the weather forecast is reasonably accurate and it all goes together OK.   I am a little worried that my white jacket is not only a little crumpled for a winter in a suitcase but it also seems to have picked up a dirty smudge, if I can't sponge that out in the morning there may have to be a small change of plan.   I am as prepared as I can be, I have all my clothes in the house, and I have shaved everything that needs to be shaved.   In the morning I will have a shower and final shave before putting on my face painting my nails, getting dressed and them hitting the road.   As must be pretty obvious I am looking forward to my outing tomorrow enormously ~ I just hope I won't be disappointed.
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