Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Risks

Following on from my last post, I except that there are risks of being found out, of being read, and recognised, every time I go out.   Perversely I suspect that part of the excitement is in the risk.   I also think that there is a very strong desire to be out, to be recognised for what, for who I am.    However I am not at all sure that this is the best way of coming out.   There is and should be a difference between being found out and coming out.   With my wife I was found out and it has been very difficult for us to reconcile my cross dressing with the rest of our relationship.   With a relationship that is less well grounded I can understand how this sort of thing can be the end of the relationship.

Now I do know that I like to push at the boundaries of gender appropriate clothing, this evening I attended a band rehearsal wearing sheer tights under ladies jeans (no socks) a floral man's shirt and a ladies denim jacket.   If challenged I have told myself I would say that yes I am a cross dresser, but would I follow through, would I have the moral courage to admit who and what I am? I simply do not know.

I have a GG friend who plays in a couple of bands with me, she is generally quite liberal in attitude, and also works with me one or two days a week during the busy growing season, I am determined that she should know about Paula, but to quote Captain Jack Sparrow, I have been "waiting for the opportune moment".   I think I need to take my courage in both hand and create that opportune moment.
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