Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Just getting on With It

A while back I was talking with my Wife about something when she had to stop me and point out that "Not everything is about Gender" at the time I thought I was just boring her ~ as I so often have, since for me at that time everything was about gender.   This was before I started my public transition, and was still trying to work out where I was on the spectrum, indeed essentially who I am.

Since then a lot of water has flowed, under, over and around the bridge, since the beginning of the year I have been living full time in my chosen gender identity,   Many of the people I deal with now have never met me any other way, and as one of my longer term friends told me the other day, she had forgotten that I was ever a man and found it difficult to think of me that way now.    Apart from the odd occassion of total dysphoria when I catch sight of an unfortunate reflection I find that I now rarely think unduly about my appearance, I just get on with my life.

At the beginning of the year everything I did or saw went through a filter of gender identity, I was constantly asking myself if I truly felt like a woman, was I doing something in a feminine manner, was I behaving, reacting, presenting as a woman.   Recently I have found that has changed, my internal dialogue is no longer obsessed with gender, I just am me.   I no longer have to work out whether I am a woman, I know that, I have given up trying to work out what sort of a woman I am, I will just let that happen, now I am just trying to get on with life as the person God made me to be.

The other day the Wonderful Hanna posted this picture on her Blog, it just sums up so much of what I have been experiencing recently I had to share it with you all.
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