Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Monday, 5 May 2014

It had to happen

The local amateur music scene is a little incestuous with many people playing in many different groups, so it was inevitable that once I started to be more "out"  and playing with some ensembles as Paula while still being well known in others as Paul somebody would join the dots and make the connection.   The other day I had a call from one of my friends "warning" me that another of our mutual friends had heard about me from somebody else.   Interestingly somebody else that I don't know!

So at least I now know that I am the subject of some gossip and maybe a little speculation, that is not so surprising, but what was actually encouraging was the reported reaction, that I "must have been very brave" to have admitted to my transgender nature.   Of course from where I'm sitting it would have been much braver not to, to have continued to suppress it, to have continued to play by society's rules, maybe that way I would have saved my marriage and improved my economic situation, I would just have lost my integrity and maybe my sanity.

So now I have one more band that I can play with as Paula (that friend was teh only thing stopping me) I am also left with a decision to make, should I do something dramatic, make a (possibly premature) public announcement to scotch any speculation, or should I just Carry On Regardless and wait until there is a situation that needs to be dealt with.  I think I will adopt the latter, on the basis of the route of least resistance.   In the mean time I am now off to play with the Brass Band, this still means another drab day, but tomorrow I will be with the London Euphonia Orchestra which is a pretty day!  

The only complication I have is that I will have to go to the Orchestra rehearsal straight from the osteopath, so for the first time I will have to go to see him as Paula.   Although it has never been stated he must be aware that I am at least a cross dresser from my choice in underwear and painted toe nails!   However I think I should probably warn him in advance that I will be seeing him fully dressed, since he normally sees me in just my panties this should not be too much of a shock.
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