Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Clarity sought

Saturday night's concert was great fun, there are few things that are better than making great music with good friends.   Surprisingly this is the first time I have played the Mendelssohn Midsummer's night dream, the trombones are only involved in the wedding March, but of course that is the bit that everyone recognises.   the Chopin was wonderful if maybe a little too fast for absolute comfort towards the end.  I was surprised a little by the piano itself, an enormous Bluthner concert grand, it looked almost as impressive as it sounded, and that's saying something!

After the concert we all adjourned over the Road to a bar where the extortionate prices succeeded in keeping me sober, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole evening.   As always there is a bit of a flat feeling when I get home, back to reality, but I couldn't dwell on that as I had an early start on Monday doing some emergency tree work.

I just about got up in time, rushed around getting all my "stuff" together, left the house and was just about to drive off when I realised that my finger nails were still bright crimson!   How I long to be able to not have to worry about such things.   Whether that means me being more "out" or actually starting transition or the world changing sufficiently to not care I'm not too sure.   I do know that the further I go down this path it doesn't get any clearer to me where I am going.    I do know that this week will mark some sort of turning point as on Friday morning I go for my postponed initial assessment with Bromley LIT.   From there they can refer me to a mental health unit, the GID unit or tell me to go away and stop being a silly girl.
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