Fatasies

In passing the other day I mentioned that I toyed with some fantasies about what I might do if I were not constrained by the sensitivities of my family.   Well I suppose that this is a little like the bucket list that Stana recently put together.

• Get my ears pierced ~ not sure that I am "man enough" for this I don't like pain and I am very squeamish about piercings, contact lens and all sorts of silly things like that.
• Dye my hair, I have felt totally liberated since I abandoned the wig, and started just wearing my own hair. I am aware that this might be a potential area of dispute in the family but in male mode I prefer my hair longer rather than shorter, so it is not that big a step.  The perm was definitely pushing at the envelope of acceptability, and may not be repeated, but my fantasy was to have it dyed.   The one thing I really, really like about my wig is the colour.   I was surprised because I thought my natural, original hair colour would suit me better but blond works, perhaps because it is about the same shade as the grey I have now naturally reached.
• Have somewhere to hang all Paula's clothes safely, it is a source of frustration that most of my female wardrobe is stored in suitcases in the garage. This means I have to plan so much in advance, make sure that all the bits of the outfit are properly assembled, and in the right place.   I can't go through my wardrobe trying different shoes with a dress, or different tops with a skirt, because they will be in different places.   I have to keep a mental note of what is where and make sure I have everything I need with me. ~ On Sunday as I got myself dressed I suddenly realised that I only had one breast with me where I was getting changed! having returned to the van and found the missing item, and having survived the experience I can now see the funny side, but at the time I can assure you I was not laughing!
• Getting dressed at home ~ one of our new ground rules is that I do not dress at home, so this one is right out, but it would make life so much easier, and safer if I could get ready at home and then go out, I don't want to push my luck but I am hoping that I may be allowed to come in after the others are in bed to get changed, somehow it seems even worse late at night. 

So nothing particularly drastic in the greater scheme of things but things that would have made my life a little easier and more pleasant, on the other I think that the things that we have agreed on are going to be of much more benefit so I am not sorry, and I willingly choose not to have these things that I would like in favour of prolonging our marriage, and who knows, maybe I can negotiate for some of these later.