Well when it came to actually playing eh concert I was pleased with how it all went. I found I was a lot less nervous about my presentation than I had been at my first concert as Paula. Maybe I was more comfortable musically, but I think it was mostly that having "broken my duck" I could stop worrying and just get on with what I was there for. I did find that as I moved a little on my seat, to turn pages, adjust the music stand, get to the "long positions" on the slide etc. my dress would ride up a bit and I had to take care that what is quite a short dress didn't become indecent. As a general principle I'm not against showing a bit of leg, but this could have been a wee bit extreme.
I find that I am really enjoying just going out and doing things, things that I would do, just doing the as Paula. This may sound a bit silly, but as with any girls I found that I was contriving situations or occasion where I could go out dressed, this meant that the central point was to be dressed, rather than to do what ever it was that it was supposedly doing, e.g. shopping. By engaging in a real world activity, with other people, the dressing becomes secondary, but still essential, and fun. Performing is ideal for me, it is an activity I love and a situation I am comfortable in, and to make it even better at least a degree of dressing up is expected.
So far the Band and Orchestra have been very understanding and accommodating, but we are still not quite in the full real of civilians, I'm still not sure that I am ready to play with a civilian set up wearing a short LBD, one day, maybe if I was asked........
Anyway to get back to Saturday night, The first half went well so during the interval I risked a glass of wine and a slice of carrot cake. this was quite the largest slice of cake I have ever had, more like half a normal cake, with lots of very sticky icing, not at all easy to eat in a ladylike manner, I did my best at least managing not to get any icing on my jacket or dress. I had not risked a drink before the concert as I knew I sight reading the first piece, but by now I was comfortable as I knew a couple of the pieces and had reasonable rehearsal of the rest.
We got a rousing reception from the audience at the end of the concert with plenty of well deserved applause, after that there was nothing for it but to adjourn to the pub over the road.
Paula's Place
2 comments:
i think that we as brass players have only begun to see woman who are professional brass players in orch. i once mentioned to my former teacher that i heard that his wife played trumpert and without hesitation he said she was a better player than he was ( he was one of the top 10 orch trumpet players in the country but lacking an ego) and he answered " yes and she was better in college than he was . i asked what happened and he said in the 1950's for the most part one didn't see woman brass orch players. hard for us in this day and age to understand this but it was true. even one of the mouthpiece guide books from a major manufacturer of mouthpieces in the late 1950's stated that a 5c was good for players with weaker lips and ... woman players" LOL ( this is the size i player on though as it actually gives a warmer cornet like sound)
so with use growing up in the 1960's we weren't accustomed to seeing woman brass players.
that and needing to remove lipstick (actually any wind inst requires wiping off the lipstick)now add being transgendered to the equation well you can see why we might be apprehensive to preform in public especially if we are known as our male selves. it is amazing how accepting our friends and colleagues can be.
on a side note my mom grew up in the 1950's and her best friend played sousaphone and with it she acquired a nick name of "sue". so good luck and have fun.
The gender stereotyping when it comes to training young instrumentalists is still very present, and annoys me intensely. I do not believe that instruments have a gender, there is no reason that the flute and oboe should be feminine instruments and trumpets and trombones masculine. I rejoice that we are now seeing more and more young female brass players, a couple of times I have played in sections with younger girls (mid 20s) playing the other parts, and they have been a match for any of the men. I hasten to add that these are girlie girls not butch bloky girls.
The brass can be tender delicate and soulful just as they can be powerful and martial, everyone should have equal opportunities to explore all the glories of orchestral instruments and should never be told, "Oh no a girl can't play the tuba"
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