Friends, Romans........

So, a carpenter is working on the ground at a building site when one of the roofers working above him drops a slate, the slate falls straight down and slices the carpenters ear clear off his head.   Knowing the wonders of modern surgery everyone gathers round to try and find the carpenters ear in the mud.   Someone finds an ear holds it up and says "Is this your ear" the carpenter says "No, mine had a pencil behind it"

Well this ear is mine, yesterday I went into Bromley and had my ears pierced, in some ways it seems incredible that I have managed to get to the age I have without having this done before.   The whole experience was a lot less traumatic, or indeed painful than I had imagined and only took a couple of minutes.   Surprisingly, even though just put in the studs were more comfortable than any of the clip ons I have, they are very small with just a little bit of a sparkle, I suspect that they will be barely noticeable.

I have to wait for six to eight weeks before I can start to wear "proper" earrings, it is only three weeks to the next LGSO concert so I will either have to go without or wear some clip ons next to the studs.
While there I checked out several charity shops and even resorted to Primark at one point, I am currently looking for two things, a pair of "riding" style boots and a casual jacket, preferably leather.   The only casual jacket I have for cooler days is blue denim and I am never quite sure about double denim, especially if both bits are the same colour.   I found a jacket I did like in Primark, but the queue for the tills was so long I thought I would over stay my parking.   Walking back to the van I saw three girls wearing the exact same jacket I had nearly bought!

After that it was just a relatively boring trip to the supermarket, although while there I did have a couple of conversations on one occasion about how to cook sea bass and a general chat with another lady while we queued up for the checkout.

I was just dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, with a denim jacket and some Cuban heeled boots, all items I have worn while in drab, but there could be no confusion as to how I was presenting.   Where ever I went during the day I was treated as the woman I am, I was particularly pleased to hear one lady tell her husband that he was "in that lady's way"   In many ways I suspect that I am more accepted when I dress to blend rather than for "Glamour".

He just had to laugh

Sometimes I am sensible, sometimes I will push at boundaries a little, and then again sometimes I do stupid things.   The whole story is just boring so I will cut to the chase and just give you the bit that may end as a anecdote in years to come.

For reasons that I can't quite remember now at some point during the afternoon I got changed out of a relatively sober ensemble into a pair of purple tights, a matching purple top, denim shorts and black leather knee boots


A bit like this, but not exactly as this is a photo from March last year, still it gves a pretty good idea of how I looked.

Now the funny thing is I felt good, I felt comfortable, I love the snug feeling of the tights the boots and the shorts, I could feel the long dangly earrings I was wearing swaying with my movements, I didn't care how I looked, I knew that what I was wearing was inappropriate by any standards but, I felt good.   I was only expecting to be driving a few miles before changing back into more sober (drab) garb, maybe this was a last flourish or something anyway I was not expecting or planning on anyone seeing me so I didn't care.

Then as I was driving past I noticed a large banner advertising self storage, with what can only be described as an offer I couldn't refuse.   So without thinking about it I pulled into the car park and went into the office to check out the offer.   I have been considering taking on a little storage unit for my "stuff" as I think it would be dryer and safer than my garage.

I often wonder what civilians think of me when I am out and about, the guy at the self storage left me in no doubt, to his credit he did try not to laugh, it's just that he didn't succeed.   He did ask me if I was serious, but I assured him I was, and managed to get him to go through the deal with me.   I then asked him if I could see a unit.   I will admit that I was a little nervous as this meant I had to go in lift with him and into the warehouse, just the two of us together.   Bless his cotton socks he had to keep laughing then apologising, then curiosity got the better of him and he started asking questions. It transpired that two of his colleagues are trans, one full time MtF and one post op MtF, so I was able to explain that we are quite a spectrum and that if he works with two of us, and then he has just met me as well, well just think how many of us there are around.

I should say that his merriment was in no way offencive, it could have been in someone else, but he was such a decent guy, open and friendly, that it was actually quite refreshing.   I think he would have liked to ask more questions but as a bit nervous, I do think that I helped him understand a little, however I am sure that he will have a good story to tell down the pub tonight.   I may well go for the self storage option, if I do and if I do with this firm I may well be set for some more teasing, maybe next time I will get out that black leather mini skirt!

Jean Genie

Well today (Tuesday) has been a bit of a mixed bag really, went to my first customer of the day and found her on the phone, with what turned put to be a scam, fortunately I was able to show her how the scam worked and saved her £99 and possibly a lot of personal information.  From there it went down hill, snow, my wife's car conking out and the whole afternoon being waisted.

I did find I had a couple of free minutes after going to the bank at lunch time so I popped into a new Salvation Army Charity Shop, they have a lot of femme stock but not much male, however I did notice they had some Levis in my size for £4.49 so I bought them.   When the assistant rang them up she was very apologetic as they were showing as women's wear - yet I had picked them off the men's rack and as far as I can see they are men's.   For some reason she was much more embarrassed about this than I was, but I didn't explain why.

Close Encounters

On Tuesday we had rain here, and I had a drill I had bought through e-bay to pick up, so I took the day off outside work and went out  to collect the drill and do a couple of other chores while I was at it.   Of course being me I took advantage of the opportunity to go out dressed.   I was still pretty smooth and hairless so didn't have to worry about any prep in that department, however as my wife was home I had to get changed and made up in the van.   As this was a last minute decision I had not planed what to wear, but as my legs were still nice and smooth I didn't really want to wear trousers or jeans.
I opted for a double denim look with denim skirt and jacket along with some patterned tights, and mauve shirt blouse and some fairly flat ballet style pumps.   I thought this was a pretty good outfit, but of course under the circumstances I had no mirror to check anything beyond my makeup and hair.    When the rain stopped I pulled into a parking stop in Ashdown Forest and took some photos.

During the day I did have a little interaction with other people, I stopped and bought fuel, I collected my drill, and did some shopping, all as Paula.   On each occasion I was addressed by the correct (female) pronoun, in one place getting a very friendly reception and an almost transatlantic "Ma'am" in another a definitely English "Dear"  With all this I was feeling quite pleased with myself.   On my way home desperate for a pee I stopped at a carvery/pub/lodge bought a glass of wine and used the facilities.   Everyone else there were male workmen (well I suppose if they are workmen then they would be male - but you know what I mean).   I was very aware that I was attracting attention, this made me more aware of the shortness of my skirt and the nature of my femininity.   For once I was beginning to feel quite vulnerable.

Making my way out I decided to use a different entrance and got a bit confused as to where I was, two of the workmen came out to where I was trying to find my way out without going into the Hotel section, the first acknowledged me, rather brusquely, the second  admonished him saying "she thought you were going to attack her" this rather flummoxed me, he then went on to say that he thought I had a lot of courage and that he admired that.   I was so thrown by the whole encounter that I didn't know how to respond other than to say thank you and accept his directions to the exit.

What was apparent was that he knew what I am, he still used the female pronoun and was happy to engage me in conversation.   I am sorry that the circumstance forbade any more conversation I would like to know how he knew so much, also what gave me away.   Although it transpired that I had nothing to be afraid of it was also clear that I had at least one supporter.   This was a rather strange and confusing encounter, but maybe as I go out into the world more I need to expect more of this sort of thing.

Wardrobe Update

I have now had a bit of a chance to assess what got turned out from my wardrobe.   I haven't had a look in the bag currently lurking in my garage, but I have had a look through my draws (that is draws, not drawers) and go through the hanging space in my wardrobe.     The knicker draw that I referred to in an earlier post had my panties, bras tights and stockings in, they have all gone.   In my sock draw I have found a couple of pairs of knee highs (or trouser socks) in other draws a couple of skirts my roll necks and a pair of culottes escaped exile, curiously I seem to have retained a couple of pairs of plain cotton panties, while my men's silk briefs aren't there.

In the hanging section all the dresses and slips have gone, but my denim jacket, jeans, a formal jacket, a couple of pairs of trousers and a couple of skirts that were on the same hanger as my denim jacket all survived.   I should say that as far as I can tell at the moment everything has survived, just been put into exile.   The sword that I thought had fallen on my head remains suspended by a thread, but still suspended.

Next job is to find a better way to look after my wardrobe, out of the way but accessible, for the sake of domestic harmony I think I need to be more circumspect about  cross dressing activities; I also think that however reluctant my wife maybe about this we do need to talk, she is not good at talking, at any rate discussing, so I may have to force the issue, maybe even suggesting going to a councillor.

This all sounds a bit heavy, but I am so relieved that it is not as bad as I at first thought that I shall reward you all (and myself) with a picture!   This was taken back in June, I'm not sure if I have published it before, by the way the skirt and jumper I'm wearing were both still in my draws.

Small things

Just a small thing

Yesterday (Thursday) I had to go out and visit a friend who has a job she would like me to do, as I knew that this would turn into an extended chat over the kitchen table I did not dress for work, as I also know she is quite liberal minded I dressed in all fem garments while still presenting as basically male.   This means sheer black tights (pantyhose), jeans black polo neck, and denim jacket, under this I wore panties and a satin slip, everything was designed to be worn by women, even my Hush Puppy loafers.    The small thing on this occasion was my watch this too was made to be worn by a lady and was perhaps the most obvious feminine item, it is these small things that give me joy.   I find now that I am so comfortable dressed this way that it sometimes feels odd to be wearing proper male attire.   If it were not for the family I think I would be very tempted to dress a lot more fem a lot more of the time.
I have received a few compliments on my appearance when I do dress this way, I think much of this is that I am comfortable, but there is also a factor that women's clothes are just generally a little better cut, a better fit and designed for appearance as well as comfort.   I find that men's wear is often baggy and lose, where the female alternative is designed to fit.

I think I mentioned that the other day I was a bit down so painted my toe nails, every time I see my feet, naked or through hose, I smile, I now have the same colour on my finger nails, a bright cherry red, as I will be going out soon.   I am unexpectedly free today so will be going to the bank, dropping some letters off and looking for a present for my Mum, so I decided that Paula could a have her last outing of the year.

As this will be the last for a while I am determined to enjoy, I will report any adventures.

Sometimes it just doesn't work

I see that Meg of "You Can Call Me Meg" fame has been pushing the envelope of what to wear when, incorporating more and more fem attire into the daily life of him.    As so often happens I find that what I read on other people's blogs echoes my own experiences.   Recently I too have been pushing that envelope.   I find that I am more frequently wearing sheer hose under my jeans (ladies of course) my ladies polo neck jumpers, a few times a quick inventory has told me that in fact I may look as though I am in drab, but in fact I am not wearing a single item of male attire.

Yes these shoes

Well today (Wednesday) I had a little trip to Worthing to deliver Gloria to her new owner. Often (well mostly actually) when I have a trip I will "travel pretty" however as I would be coming home by train I was limited.   My outfit consisted of my M & S Ladies jeans over sheer black tights, these shoes, my black polo neck and a dark blue wool double breasted over jacket (not sure if that is a proper term, but it describes perfectly this lovely heavy wool coat that is just a little shorter than finger tip length)
I felt good, earlier I had been a bit down so to cheer myself up I had painted my toe nails bright red, this just totally showed through my tights, something which I just love.  

However on the train home I had the compartment to myself for a while so I decided to put on some eye makeup, lip gloss and ear rings, for some reason this was not at all satisfying.   I'm not sure why this should be, while just wearing the clothes I was in "stealth" mode but as soon as I put on a little make up and jewelry I was presenting, but I'm not sure what I was presenting, obviously a man but with some ladies jewelry and make up, maybe I was presenting as a "camp" man rather than as a manly woman and that is why it was not satisfying.   I know that if I had been able to put on a bra and forms, along with full makeup I would have felt good, and probably attracted less attention - well any way I would have felt as though I attracted less attention, in all probability no one else was in the least interested in what I was wearing.

Stealth Mode

The other day I mentioned that Gloria was going to have to find a new home, well I still have Gloria but yesterday I picked up her successor.   Nothing special in that you may say, but.....
As I had to travel over to Harrow to pick up the new van I decided to make the journey worthwhile and the time well spent, for me this meant that I travelled semi dressed, or what you might call stealth mode.   I had sheer hosiery under my ladies jeans, a new pair of ballet style pumps with a small but undeniable heel.   I also had eye makeup, lip gloss, my "pearl" rope and a well padded bra with boobs!    I had a quite large man's burgundy cord shirt and a ladies denim jacket, as the jacket has no usable pockets I carried what needed to be carried in a white cotton shoulder bag.   Although I was not aware of attracting any great attention, my choice in footwear did get a few glances.

My choice in fotwear

After collecting the van I added foundation, powder, etc to my make up and put on the rest of my jewelry and wig.   This all felt a little weird as I was wearing flats and jeans, but was no longer in stealth mode.   Well I stopped off a large Tesco in Wembley to pick up a few supplies, when I had gathered my purchases and was looking around for the shortest checkout queue a very helpful young male assistant directed me "The basket checkouts are at the other end, Madame"   I was so thrilled at being called Madame at that point I could have hugged him.   I am sure that had he known he would be pleased that I restrained myself.

This tells me that to pass or at least be accepted I don't need to glam up, a few serious clues are sufficient.   I had been feeling a little unsure of myself, did I look like a woman, or bloke wearing makeup, that "Madame" was so reassuring, I found a whole new spring in my step afterwards.   I am now wondering how little makeup I can get away with wearing, is less more? it should certainly be more comfortable, and maybe less obvious

Do you own a Tutu?

Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman

Almost by definition we have a weakness for inappropriate clothing, in that society would say that we should be wearing gender appropriate clothing, and most of us will dress a little "younger" than out true years when in girl mode.   Earlier today I was musing while stuck in traffic outside a dance clothes shop, just how much money do we spend on items of clothing that will never been seen in public, or at the very least in day light.

Most of what I now have is sort of OK, but there is that black leather mini skirt, oh yes and the Daisy Duke denim shorts, and although I absolutely love my pink animal print tights I'm not sure how many would share that enthusiasm. All of these are just doubtful taste, when I was younger, and Paula was unnamed because you don't need a name if you never go out, I had some much worse items.   There were the black patent crotch high boots with 5 inch stiletto heels (not made for walking), the very inappropriate French Maids uniform, which didn't make housework any more fun, and one or two ill-considered purchases of dodgy underwear that no nice girl would ever wear, and bad ones would probably only take off.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has resorted up buying some garments from the raunchy end of the mail order spectrum, and ended up with some really tasteless tat.   However I think that this is all part of our development, and so not something to be ashamed of.   My teenage daughter sometimes wants to buy some very inappropriate clothes, but she has the restraining influence of her parents and her budget to stop her, we often have nothing except good sense, and that often desserts us where clothes are involved, and a limited budget.

I now own nothing (underwear excluded!) that I am not prepared to be seen in in public, I do wonder though what was your most ill-considered purchase?   What really silly but treasured items lurk at the back of your wardrobe?

Oh yes; the tutu, when working in the flat of a rather large and very macho single man some time ago I discovered a stack of Transvestite magazines and some clothes, including a pink tutu, they must have been his, neither of us has yet said a word about this.

Wedensday

Yesterday (Wednesday, sometime I manage to write these posts in advance, other times I am desperately trying to keep up.) I couldn't work much due to the weather, and I quite simply didn't fancy it much anyway.   Once it became clear that I would have all day free, I called a friend (I'll call him G) I had been meaning to see for a few months.   As he does shift work he was free so we met up in the afternoon.   Although G knows of Paula, and indeed has seen me dressed I did not think it would be appropriate to go to his home dressed, and there wasn't time to do much before getting there.

That having been said it seemed like too much of an opportunity to let it go, so I was under-dressed, with just a pair of jeans and a (ladies) polo neck with a (ladies) denim jacket.   I had to pick up some supplies on the way but had a limited of time before the arranged meeting time, so I did something I have not done for some time, a half way.   I put on eye makeup but left it at that and put on a pair of high heel ankle boots.   This makes for a quite fem presentation, while doing nothing about covering my beard growth, (Not much as I had a close shave with a new blade in the morning) boobs or hair.   I didn't think I attracted any undue attention as I walked round, certainly no comments.  I  engaged in conversation with another customer, and spent a while chatting with staff.   After that it was time  to get over to G's, so I changed back into some non committal shoes, and got over there.

I was of course totally aware of what I was wearing but I had forgotten that I still had my eye makeup on.   The eye shadow was fairly subtle but I was also using mascara so anyone looking would be able to see.   Also since I was not wearing socks, just some fairly sheer black tights again if looked at obvious. Now G did not say anything, even when I commented on my on line friends and our "shared interest" I am not sure whether that means he does not want to talk about the subject, did not realise or was just more interested in the main thrust of our conversations.

G is my longest standing friend and I know he would support me whatever, but I also know that he may find my dressing awkward.   I hope not as apart from our long and close friendship he is also an excellent keen amateur photographer.......................

Boots

I like boots, I like to see women wearing boots, I like to wear them myself, and I find that a boot supporting the ankle helps a lot when walking in high heels.   I have never been able to convince myself that thigh boots are appropriate for street wear, but knee boots are another matter, so I am particularly pleased to hear that they are very much back in vogue.

http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/galleries/TMG8832168/Trending-knee-boots.html I am not simply relying on this article for my assertion, I have also noticed a lot more boots on the street as I am travelling around.

I like the look of boots with trousers, with the trouser leg over the boot I always wonder are they ankle boots, knee high, or higher? worn over tight jeans they are simply dead sexy.   A new trend I have noticed is wearing brown, or tan knee boots with black skinny jeans or leggings.   I would not have expected to like this, I have always thought black with black, brown with brown, but it does work, especially with lighter tan leather boots.   Now I believe in having decent quality boots, so I will probably not be following this trend myself, as just at the moment there are more pressing calls on my finances, but if I do see something nice in my next charity shop trawl.......

Better Now

Not me
(Well only in my dreams)

This morning when I posted I was a bit down, you may have noticed.   Well my morning's work was all admin at home on my own, not long after posting I thought "This is silly" so I went upstairs and got changed, WOW the relief just from dressing at home, nothing too serious, just a casual top skinny jeans and my knee high boots.   I didn't bother with the full slap just some foundation eye shadow and lippy, and did pop on a wig.   After all you never know when someone will pop round, a girl ought to look presentable.

It then struck me I had to go to the bank and the post office, well what the hell, I wasn't going to get changed until absolutely necessary.   So the bank staff saw a different side of me, I'm sure they noticed but were far to polite to comment.   Really in London it was too hot for the outfit I was wearing and I definitely had a bit of a glow on my top lip ( Ladies glow, Gentlemen perspire, Horses Sweat ).   I popped into a couple of charity shops and came away with a nice pair of black stilettos and another black skirt.   I wonder if I have found my colour pallet or if I need to be more adventurous?

Anyway the point is that this little trip managed to cheer me up no end, I still have all the same problems, it's just that I'm not getting brought down by them now.

Under Cover

Last night I had to go out to a rehearsal, one of my other passions is wind band music and I play in quite a successful local community band, - but that's more for my other blog.   The point is I had to go out, in drab and just wanted to rebel.   Just the thought of being so boring, continuing with the same drab clothes I had been wearing all day got to  be too much for me.   So I resorted to the good old standby of cross dressers the world over of under dressing.   Nothing extreme just some nice soft panties and some hold up stockings under my normal men's jeans.   I also wore a female denim jacket (buttons on the left, no side pockets snugger cut etc.)

What was a little different last night was the lack of socks, and the stockings were very sheer.   A couple of times I looked down at my feet and could see that it was quite obvious that I was wearing sheer hose, at one point I even slipped off a shoe and you could see that my toe nails were polished.   The outcome no one noticed.   This lends strength the idea that people see what they expect to see, they see a man in denim and don't look further, I wonder how far I could push this, if I were to wear my skinny jeans and a shoulder bag but no make up or wig would I start to get the odd funny look?   What would happen if I were to wear overtly women's shoes?

Although my aim is generally not to look androgynous, but feminine it would be nice to be able to go out knowing I'm wear fem without having to go through all the extra presentation work (shaving, make up, foundation garments, wig etc.); I think the look on the left is best left for younger and slimmer women than me.