Advent Calendar XV

Enough photos of me! Time for a bit more of Betty!

Knickers!!

Last time I posted I talked a bit about my aims for the year, I've not really done too well so far having last no weight at all and having only got to one concert that I wasn't playing in.   There was one aim I didn't mention as I have had it on my list for the last few years ~ to do a public stand up routine.   Well that actually looks like it's about to be fulfilled!

I hadn't listed going to the launch of a new range of lingerie. Last night I went up to town with some friends having been invited to the launch event for the GI Collection from Carmen Liu. It was a fun night and a joy to meet some wonderful people, including the designers mother and grandmother! The whole thing was only marginally marred by the presence of a few TERF protestors outside. I worry that their life is so empty that the best thing they can think of doing on a wet Thursday night in February is to stand outside in the rain ranting at people who just ignore them.  I can't say that I'll be buying any of their offerings, maybe 30 or 40 years ago, but these days I rate comfort higher than I used to.

I've also played in the most awesome concert, last month the LGSO played Shostakovich's epic seventh symphony, I was the third of six trombones, along with eight horns six trumpets stacks of woodwind and more percussion than you can shake a stick at. It's long, loud and leery. At the end of our performance I think the whole orchestra was emotionally and physically drained, maybe that's why we all seemed to need some wine to revive us.  

Another opportunity to sell!

So today is Valentine's Day, the florist hasn't arrived yet, and my post has not been full of cards, actually the postie hasn't been yet, and may well not have to.

I am not expecting to receive any card, flowers chocolates or any of that stuff, I just get a little exasperated with the various media, news and social, all the adverts and stuff which put so much pressure on people to be part of a couple. I know that a lot of it is simply so they can sell more product, but none the less it does very much feel like those of us who are single are being excluded.

It does feel as though this is just another commercial opportunity to shift stock that nobody would buy any other time of year, Flowers in February, Chocolates, and of course naughty knickers ~ ahem sorry, I mean lingerie!

I will be going out tonight to see a friend, and I know that tonight is meant to be for romantic couples, for being all lovie and all that, but I also know that we will not be part of that whole couples thing ~ I suspect that now I will probably never again be part of a couple ~ oh well at least I am now me.

Still Lingering

I have had a bit of an hiatus in service here, and between my last two posts I see that there was an eight day break. Interestingly I do still get visitors to the blog even when I don't have any nice up to date posts, indeed that is when I get some of my older posts being inspected.   Blogger gives me a bit of a breakdown and over that week my most popular post was one from quite a while back, all the way back to July 2013.    I think it must be something to do with the title of that particular post and the Google searches that some people do. That particular post can be seen here! I'm not sure that it was my finest moment, but who am I to judge!

Co-incidentally this last week or so my favorite cartoonist has been running a series on my favorite strip.   He has had my favorite character working on what would be my favorite job (in my dreams).

However this did make me think, what actually is the difference between lingerie and underwear;- I have some pants that are simply pants, but if I wear them with a matching bra they magically transform into lingerie, so is it the material? the intent? or maybe the marketing?

Certainly some brands have more allure than others, just the names Janet Reager, Agent Provocateur or Figleaves just sound so much more alluring than Marks & Spencer or Matalan. I suspect that this is definitely a case of less is more, i.e. the more you pay the less you get!

I certainly know that most women I know prefer bras that are not underwired, I am now beginning to understand why, yet whenever I go into lingerie departments the vast majority of bras are underwired, so they are not being made primarily for the comfort of the woman.   I suspect that this is a subject I will be revisiting, certainly my perspective on the such things has changed over the last few years, yet I am still very much of the opinion that life is too short for ugly underwear!

My Favorite Cartoonist Brooke McEldowney
My Favorite Strip 9 Chickweed Lane

And the title is a reference to my post of the 18th November 2012, ironically the dress I was lusting over so much at that time I would now have several opportunities to wear, but it is no longer available ~ heyho!

Quote of the Day

Brevity is the soul of lingerie

Dorothy Parker 1891 - 1967

American poet and screenwriter

I decided that I was better off not providing an illustration, especially if it involved me! One issue with lingerie for girls like me is that much of the prettiest, briefest and most sensual lingerie is simply not practical, if only for reasons of support and (ahem) containment.

Maybe this is a sign that I'm growing up.

I've been getting it wrong ~ Concert Dress IIX

As I wrote here on SUnday I will be playing at the finals of the National Concert Band Festival, I have been practising (a bit) and will ensure that I am musically as prepared as possible.   We will be traveling up to Manchester together by coach tomorrow (Saturday) spend the evening together and stay overnight at an hotel.   Then the next day is dedicated to the festival and the journey home.

The dress code for our performance is the usual boring all black, regular readers will know how much I agonise about exactly how I will interpret that rather basic instruction.   I have worn LBDs, modest matronly dresses, fancy trousers, plain trousers, satin blouses, sheer blouses, even on occasion a polo neck sweater.   But a recent series of 9 Chickweed Lane makes me worried that I have been giving my considerations to the wrong garments;

This now leaves me with the question, of what sort of lingerie should I chose for Philip Spark and Paul Hart?

Advent Calendar ~ 22

Just when things were beginning to get serious I decide that we need more Betty

And just in case you had missed the point

Advent Calendar ~ 11

I suppose i's about time that we all started to think about presents, I mean the presents we are going to buy for other people.   What are you going to buy for the girl in your life?

And if any of you are wondering about what to buy for me I take a size 8 (EU 42) she, or if you want another clue, I don't believe in Santa Claus anymore.

And please remember to take the Poll!

All I want for Christmas...

Well I don't know about all I want, after all there is a lot of jewellery out there, and sexy lingerie, not to mention some nice smellies 

Knickers!

"European style" is not really a description I understand, from Britain we tend to think of Europe as the big lump of land on the other side of the Channel, but it does not really have a coherent style.   French, Italian, German, Spanish they all have style, but I would generally say pretty different styles if you then throw in us Brits then it gets even more confusing.

All this means that I have been a little puzzled to see "European Style" applied to panties.   Over at He Wears Panties all of these have been described that way yet still I don't know what it means.

A quick Google search seems to show that the only people who use this description are non European, many companies seem to use the term to describe the more decorative end of the market, one manufacturer calls their skimpiest most brazen items European, another applies it to their classier more expensive items made from the better cloth.



Of course this is all from the point of view of a Brit, but interestingly a similar search for "American Panties" comes up with almost exclusively American Apparel and American Eagle brands.   I am not aware of anyone in the UK selling American Style panties, yet we do have an enormous range of Brazilian briefs available.

And of course we should never forget French Knickers, maybe it's just that we like to associate these most intimate of garments with places we think of as exotic, after all Birmingham Bloomers doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it?

A Perfect Start?

I have just been watching(for the second time) highlights of England's defeat of Australia at Twickenham yesterday.   I just can't get enough of England beating Australia, there is always a special glee to beating Australia, whether it's at Rugby or Cricket (the only two team sports worth playing) and I hope to enjoy more victories over Australia as our Cricketers get on with the Ashes tour down in the Southern Hemisphere.   Every Australian I have met I have liked, but when it comes to sport they are the enemy.  The only thing that compares with beating the Australians is beating the French.

At the end of the game I noticed that flashed up on one of the score boards was the message "The Perfect Start" well it was good to win but I think it was a long way from perfect.   A lot of the individual performances were below par, Ashton did very little and what he did do wasn't very good, Wilson scrimmaged well when he came on, but seems out of his depth with the rest of his game at this level. The front five did very well destroying the Australian scrum a few times, but against Argentinian and especially the All Blacks I fear it may be a different matter.   I worry a little there is no English forward who the opposition fear playing, when England have done well they have had Johnson, Dooley, Probyn, or Leonard players who made the opposition's' blood run cold with fear, there is no one who does that now, I say bring on the big beasts.

I know many of you aren't into Rugby so I will limit myself, it was the "Perfect Start" that struck me, well in many ways I think I had the perfect start this morning.   Resisting the temptation to go out drinking last night I had a quite evening, after work I went grocery shopping, then had a nice dinner and an early night, by my own recent standards that is.   So this morning I woke up feeling quite good, at a sensible time, giving me time to have a nice leisurely breakfast with lots of fresh coffee, a nice shower and get dressed without rushing and a walk to Church through the park enjoying the sunshine.

It is nice to wake up when the sun is up and not be rushed, it is also nice to wake up wearing a satin nightie.   It is nice to not have to worry about taking turns in the bathroom, not having to wait for others or worry about their breakfast habits but to have what I want, it's not so nice to be alone.

Counselling

I am wondering about asking for some form of counselling, or something.   I find my life at the moment a little bit confusing, but a not yet prepared to admit that going full time is the answer.   I understand that the GID clinic at Kings Cross (my most local) has a waiting list f around a year so I am thinking that if I get an appointment then I might have a bit more of an idea what I want by then.

I really can't tell what is me feeding the "habit" what is pink fog reaction after the departure of my wife and what is truly a self identification as female.   Others tell me that I will know, but how? sometimes I do feel like a man, sometimes I do feel like a woman, but mostly I just feel like me and mostly that me likes to wear female clothes.

Although I am feeling a insecurity in my gender, (and indeed I did have an "uncomfortable" dream last night) I have yet to have this one, though I think I would recommend for Animal Print underwear to add confidence.   I think I might also want a counsellor with a little ore insight into my situation, insight, experience and sympathy, but probably best no personal agenda.

A Dirty Litte Secret

Over at "He Wears Panties"  Hope has written a nice little article considering the attraction of breaking taboos, in secret, i.e. men wearing women's lingerie, but keeping it secret, the secret breaking of society's rules, suggesting that for some men the attraction is in the secret.

For me the attraction is not about the secret, indeed the exact opposite, I find the more I am out the happier I am, so for me I am relieved that a lot of the restrictions that were on me have been lifted, I am enormously sad about the circumstances,  but it is good not to feel furtive, hiding my "stuff" away in the van or the garage, getting changed in non gender specific toilets, or doing my makeup in the rear view mirror.   This hiding made it feel like a dirty little secret, and I don't want it to be that.

It is surprisingly liberating to be able to do my laundry and hang it out to dry, whenever I need to.

Purge

I think most of us who are transgendered, transsexual, cross-dresser, transvestite or whatever else we might choice to call ourselves have experienced the purge.   In my experience this consists of a moment of rejection of what we do, brought on by consideration for others, pressures of society, or a moment of self awareness, whatever the cause the result is the same.

We go through all our "stuff" and throw away all our clothes, wigs, jewellery etc. etc. everything that is connected to our cross-dressing.   We are relieved, we have broken the cycle we  will just live a normal male life from now on (I assume that it is the same for female t male as well).   We will initially feel liberated, then we will manage, then we will struggle, then eventually we will give in to the inevitable and buy those cute shoes, or that pair of lacy panties.   Those of us of a "certain age" will recognise that this in itself is part of the cycle we go through.   I know I have been through it many time, too many times, before accepting that this is something I am and not something I do, That the clothes are an essential expression of who I am not the end in themselves.

Through these purges I have lost many garments and items that I now regret, of course it also means that I got rid of some unfortunate purchases that I was never going to wear in public.   Because of the sense of loss attached to a purge in my latest clear out I decided not to dispose of the rejects.   All my "boy" underwear has now been packed up in a suitcase along with my bike leathers and now reside in the attack.

Moving Paula in meant everything in the same place and properly organised, this led to the revelation of exactly how much underwear I have.   Because of the restrictions on doing laundry I think I often bought new when in normal circumstances I would simply have washed, I now find I have far, far too many pairs of panties, bras and tights.   At least it does mean I won't need to buy any for quite some time now, I shall now limit myself to replacing worn out items ~ unless of course they are really cute .

Don't forget that I still need your help and advise as to which dress to wear next Sunday.

The best laid plans...............

I did not do very well on my hopes for the weekend.   I packed a couple of outfits I wanted to take some photos of, I also remembered to pick up my camera and tripod, on Saturday night after Mum had retired for the night I got changed, set up my tripod and camera, got all set for the first picture, when I found that I had left the memory card at home!   I had already managed to forget to take a belt or a pair of socks with me, so overall I did not feel as though I was doing very well.   As I get up at silly O'clock in the morning I tend to get my stuff ready the night before, leave it all down stairs and when I get up come down get dressed, grab my bag and go.   On Saturday morning I did put on some nail polish before getting dressed but realised when I put on my skinny jeans that I hadn't brought a belt down, rather than risk disturbing my wife I left anyway, it was only when I got to Cardiff that I realised that I had forgotten my slippers as well.   This is only slightly inconvenient but it did mean I had to be a little careful not to show off my deep red toe nails.

Whilst doing Mums shopping I did have a look at the clothes in Tesco's they have a red suit (Jacket, Dress and Skirt) that I really like, but bearing in mind my current financial circumstances I resisted temptation.   I would like the dress in particular but I will admit to wanting the jacket and skirt as well.   The skirt is probably a little on the short side for a lady of my age, but I like a length that is either short or long, I feel at my height anything in the middle is a bit, well, nothing.

So as I was feeling so good about myself for resisting temptation I thought I really deserved a little treat, so I bought myself a nice satin bra and pantie set.   I think they look better on the model here than they do on me, but then nobody except me will see them so that's OK.

And that is indeed one of the problems of pretty underwear for somebody like me, I just don't get to share the fun with anyone else, well anyone else except you of course.

 

Way to go Sven

I don't want to go into the story arc too much, service to say that Sven has been sent by by his employer / girlfriend, the vet, to get her a change of clothes while she wrestles with a cow.   Her underwear causes him a level of confusion not many of us would suffer

 

A Rose by any name

Police in Greater Manchester are clearly taking hate crime seriously  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-22018888 I noticed that they list "Trans" as one of the established areas for potential hate crime.   Obviously it is good that they understand this, shame that they have to.

Yesterday was a day of snow and very little in the way of productive work, I went to a nursery and got loads of plants for the two gardens I will be visiting today, neither garden has much in the way of roses so I ended up with seven, including a couple of one of my favourite varieties ~ Pink Flower Carpet.   This is a ground cover rose and very useful in garden design.   As long as the weather stays dry I shall be doing a lot of planting today.    I also did some banking, some admin and made use of my time with a visit to the green waste composting centre and have cleared a lot of space, so although not remunerative at least the day was useful.

The day finished with a lovely meal my wife cooked (Salmon Wellington) along with a bottle of wine which I followed with a couple of donuts;~ I hope I will still look OK in the LBD I have decided to wear tomorrow night.

And finally Hanna found this web site selling lingerie for men, personally I feel that sort of misses the point, but see what you think.

Lilac and Lace lingerie

As a girl I always try to co-ordinate what I wear, my preference is for dresses so that makes it a bit easier.   But I do like to have matching (or at least co-ordinating) shoes and handbag, my hose should blend with my dress, if I a wearing one my blouse should go with the skirt (or trousers) and jacket.   All this is obvious, but like most girls I go a bit further I like my underwear to co-ordinate as well.  

I have a couple of sets of matching lingerie and d not wear any of the items "solo" they are only ever worn as sets.   But more than that I like to co-ordinate my underwear with my outerwear, so if I a wearing a black or grey dress I will wear a black slip and black panties and bra.   Yesterday I had on a lilac turtle neck sweater and jeans, so my choice of underwear was lilac panties (with white lace trim) to match and white bra.  

Lingerie is, or at very least should be fun, a little frivolous.   The material should be satin or light and filmy, it should be trimmed with lace and bows and even a bit of sparkies. I am sure that for many this is a part of the attraction of cross dressing.   Maybe it is because I a only a part time girl, but to me this is part of getting dressed, part of the fun.

As a boy I wear whatever is on the top of the pile

Hairy Pantie Wearer

Jenny makes some very good points here about how some people transition, the time it takes and the care they receive on the way.   I am of the opinion that it should be hard, that way only those who truly need to transition will.   This is a little like my idea that divorce is not too easy (ask anyone who is divorced) but that marriage is not hard enough.   Anyway none of this is the point I wanted to make, it is that little throw away line about "hairy pantie wearer" that struck.

Why? did it strike me as insulting to those of us who have not made a full commitment to this lifestyle? did I find it insulting to my inner woman? was I miffed that this was about the trans hierarchy? no it struck me as the perfect description of what I saw in the mirror the other day.   For much of last year I was keeping my whole body clean of hair, I stopped shaving around the end of November and am by now pretty hairy, because of the season when dressed this doesn't really show (whichever way I am dressed) at the moment, but it will when the weather warms up and I want to wear dresses and skirts more, and tops with a neckline, rather than turtlenecks.   But getting dressed the other day I looked in the mirror and saw a "hairy pantie wearer" I thought to myself "what are you doing?" there was a definite moment of disgust.   If actually analysed much of what I do is ridiculous, but it does give me joy, so I continue.

We will be starting our counselling sessions soon (29th January) maybe this is something I might voice at some point.

Lingering longingly over lovely lingerie

I just discovered a new word, over on He Wears Panties a rather silly site I like to visit, they have coined the word lingerista.   Personally I think I will admit to being one, I love lingerie, I love the look of it and I love the feel of it, I like to see others wearing  lingerie and I love to wear it myself.

So what do I mean by lingerie? Chambers rather unhelpfully defines the word simple as "Women's underclothes" for me there is all the difference in the world between the satin and lace, the frills and fripperies of true lingerie and the simple practicality of underwear.   In a life when so much is simply down to functionality it is a small, but significant joy to have something necessary but totally frivolous.   For me there are a few prerequisites for lingerie, they should be a set, they should not be too practical, a necessity for a few adjustment here and there during the course of the day (or maybe more to the point the evening) just add to the fun, for all concerned.   Decoration is not important, it is vital, some piping a few bows, maybe some lace and mesh, by the very nature of lingerie it should be silly fun, frothy and frivolous.   Of course the ultimates in impracticality are often the ones that are most fun to wear, and to see being worn, basques, stockings and suspenders, teddies, negligees, so I bet we nearly all have nearly all of those in our knicker draw.

Without these fun unnecessary attributes these items fall into the practical, the merely underwear, they become the mentionables where they should be the unmentionables, if you chose your underwear for comfort and warmth then it is probably not lingerie. On the other hand of course this whole post could just be a rather contrived excuse to post some pictures of pretty girls with not a lot of clothes on ~ as if I would do anything like that.   All photos courtesy of figleaves.com

On a different note I had a little time the other day and happened to find myself outside a branch of Matalan, one of my favorite shops, so I popped in.   They have a dress I have seen advertised that I liked the look of and wanted to try on to see how it looked.   This branch didn't have it in my size (16) but I was feeling ambitious so I tried a size 14.   It was a little snug  but looked great, I think a size 16 would be fabulous, and I want it, I want it, I want it.   Accepting the risk of sounding like a petulant 14 year old I want this dress, but, and here's the snag I can think of no occasion where I am likely to have the opportunity to wear it.   I need to be asked to some posh do, a diner dance or formal reception, anything, then I can justify the (not really substantial) cost of the dress.   Even if I only wore it once I would be happy.   There, you see what a shallow girl I can be.