A very Betty Christmas

Betty was not as omnipresent in the year's Advent Calendar as in some previous years, partly because I was a little worried about repeating myself too much, but also because most of my Betty pictures are stored on my laptop, and it ended up that a lot, I mean A LOT, of my posts ended up being created on my phone or my table (I know, first world problems!).

I definitely have a bit of "a thing" for Betty Boop, I suspect it is that in my view she is a bit like cream cake (for those of us of a certain age in the UK) in as much as she a she is  "Naughty but nice". for all the "Do boop a do" there is something about her that retains a level of innocence amongst the sexiness. 

There is certainly an idea that she never goes too far, sure there are the short skirts and all that, but there is an obvious limit; and limits are important, I remember back in my cross dressing day talking to my then teenage daughter about just how high a hem line was acceptable, and I came up with the fingertip length limit. i.e. if the hemline was higher than her fingertips holding her arms straight down then it was too short, I think we all agreed that this was reasonable, then my wife looked at me and asked if I would stick to the same limit ~ I rather had to agree, and have stuck to that ever since. I suspect that Betty sometimes might be just above that.

Let's be honest this post isn't really about anything I have to say, the words are not important it is just an opportunity for some gratuitous pictures of Betty!

So if you felt short changed before I hope I have now made up for it!

Inspiration

Yesterday I wrote about my little weight problem and how I had been inspired by a "Pearls Before Swine" cartoon, and then I lamented how I couldn't work out a way of sharing it. Well guess what? I've just found a way! so here it is.

It's strange where inspiration comes from, and where it takes us

A weighty issue

Today's post was inspired by Pearls Before Swine the cartoon by Stephen Pastis ~ I would love to show a copy of it here but Go Comics have got wise to that and have made it very difficult to copy a single cartoon, so just follow the link ~ In amongst the lots of things going on at the moment I have been booking my place in a lot of the Sprints for the Championship I'll be competing in this season, as we were talking about what little we are allowed to do to improve the performance of the car the subject of weight reared it's ugly head. We can't do much to save weight on the car, but I can (and certainly should) do something about the weight of the driver.

I have been feeling a "bit porky" for a while now, but have kept putting off doing anything about it, but having weighed myself and found my weight has crept up to thirteen and half stone (190 lbs or 85 kgs) I fear I can't put it off any longer. Indeed I was conducting a concert on Friday evening, went to put on my favourite black trouser suit, and found I couldn't do up the trousers! So, definitely time to act, now the next question is what am I going to do, diet? exercise? a bit of both? Given that Ideally I would like to lose about 25lbs what ever I do it's going to take time and effort.

Losing weight used to be easy, when I got that "porky" feeling I could just behave myself for a week and lose 7 lbs, no problem. These days it's not so easy and I suspect that has more to do with hormones than age. ~ as my ex has been known to observe "now you understand!"

There are very few things about transition that make my life easier ~ just better.

Feeling a little horse

 I saw this and was immediately reminded of my post from a few days ago To be honest I'm never sure how many people "get" some of my references

Actually I do have a soar throat, not too debilitating though as I seem to be spending the day waiting for a parcel to be delivered. Very annoying as the TNT driver came this morning, didn't ring the bell but just put a card through the door.

I'm a Tuba Player, you know?

The tuba has always been a but for jokes, the size, unwieldiness and sound just lends itself to humour. When I first said at school that I wanted to play the tuba the teachers thought I was having a joke, and tried to dissuade me, but I had already fallen in love, with the sound and the look of it!

By now I've sort of got used to being asked if I wished I'd taken up the flute, and people observing that it is a big trumpet, it never ceases to amaze me that people think they're original!

But, as a player of this finest of all instruments I feel some justification in telling tuba jokes, so here are a few of my favorites.

What do you say to a tuba player with a job? ~ Big Mac and fries please

How many tuba players does it take to replace a light bulb? ~ Three, one to hold the bulb, two to drink till the room revolves

How do you fix a broken tuba? ~ with a tuba glue

"Did you hear my last tuba recital?" ~ "I hope so!"

How many tuba players does it take to replace a light bulb? ~ None, we don't go that high

A school boy decides he wants to play tuba and his parents find a private teacher who hosts hour-long lessons at his house. The first day, after the lesson, he tells his parents "I learned how to play the note Bb today!". The second day, the same thing happens but the boy had learned to play an F. The third day he doesn't come home. The parents wait until an hour after he was supposed to be back and call the teacher, asking where the kid is. The teacher replies "He's at his first gig".

Two tuba players sitting in a car, Who's driving? ~ the policeman!

Definition of an optimist ~ A tuba player with a mortgage

And finally my all time favourite, a friend (and fellow tuba player) was conducting his final concert with a band just after my transition, he had asked me in to dep on tuba. To fill in a little time he asked the audience;~

"How many tuba players does it take to replace a light bulb?" ~ "None, real men aren't afraid of the dark!"

He turned back to the band to be greeted by a sea of open mouthed incredulity, he couldn't work out why "What?"

Advent Calendar XXI

Only four sleeps to go! Are you getting excited? Well I hope that you've been good and that Santa will visit you, which Santa you want a visit from I guess is up to you!

Over on Stana's blog femulate.org you will find my photo is featured today! I may no longer fit the definition of a femulator but I still enjoy her blog. 

Another opportunity to sell!

So today is Valentine's Day, the florist hasn't arrived yet, and my post has not been full of cards, actually the postie hasn't been yet, and may well not have to.

I am not expecting to receive any card, flowers chocolates or any of that stuff, I just get a little exasperated with the various media, news and social, all the adverts and stuff which put so much pressure on people to be part of a couple. I know that a lot of it is simply so they can sell more product, but none the less it does very much feel like those of us who are single are being excluded.

It does feel as though this is just another commercial opportunity to shift stock that nobody would buy any other time of year, Flowers in February, Chocolates, and of course naughty knickers ~ ahem sorry, I mean lingerie!

I will be going out tonight to see a friend, and I know that tonight is meant to be for romantic couples, for being all lovie and all that, but I also know that we will not be part of that whole couples thing ~ I suspect that now I will probably never again be part of a couple ~ oh well at least I am now me.

Advent Calendar XXV

Happy Christmas!

Wishing everyone of us a very happy Christmas, and hoping that you all get exactly what you wanted, or maybe better still what you needed!

At Some point today I will be enjoying lunch with my friend, this year we will be having duck, so maybe he did heed the plea, the plea to give geese a chance!

I know I will be enjoying myself and am hoping that all of you will be as well, I am also rather pleased that I seem to be a bit more popular than I had realised, this is certainly the most Christmas cards I have received for a long time ~ round here I have to say that it is finally beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Desert Island Discs IV

What can I say Danny Kaye ~ Tubby the Tuba!



We had this in my father's record collection (of about 30) when I was a small child it had a great impact on me, I felt for Tubby alone and misunderstood, and even then I loved the sound of the Tuba.   I'm sure that this is one of the reasons that when I had a chance to learn an instrument the tuba was my first choice.

Mind you I still want to dance with the pretty tune, oh and sometimes I do sit on it!

Halloween

I don't celebrate Halloween, I know that is increasingly unusual, even on this side of the Atlantic, but I gather in the states it is very much "de rigor" to go out, in fancy dress and have a fun time.   This of course has a particular attraction for cross dressers, so I expect a lot will be out strutting their stuff in the their alternative wardrobe.   Even when I identified as a cross dresser I still didn't do the whole Halloween thing, partly because of my natural bias against anything I perceive as being American, and partly because as an Evangelical Christian I find the celebration of goulies and gousties and long leggedy beasties all rather distasteful.

This year will be no exception I can't see that I will be joining the throngs celebrating throughout Croydon Town Center, since it's a Tuesday I'll most likely just stay at home with a bottle of wine and a film.

But for all of you who are breaking out of your wardrobe and celebrating, have a fun, safe time.

This and That

Saturday's concert went well, the hall was virtually full, the audience were responsive and though I say it myself we played extraordinarily well.   I have just listened to a "first cut" recording of a small part of it and I have to say that it does sound pretty fab, as soon as I have a recording available I will share it.

St John's Smith Square is a great place to play and since we did fill it we may have a problem looming as to how we fit all of our audience in for our next concert, these are the sort of problems we like to have.

On Sunday I have another concert, this will be with my own band the Croydon Symphonic Band, we will be playing in Dorking for the Vaughan Williams society, for us this is quite a prestigious event and we have struggled to fill one or two vital seats so we will all be quite pleased when we actually get to the point of playing. This is another group that plays in all black, I came up with an idea for something I could wear, but our Alto Sax player wasn't too keen. ~ Although to be honest I don't think I really have the waist line for this.

But of course, before all that I do have another event coming, London Pride, last year I played with the London Gay Symphonic Winds at the front of the parade, this year I will be walking with my own special group of friends from TransPALS.   All this after quite a busy week of work and meetings, although most of the work for Croydon Pridefest is being shouldered by better people than me, as Chair I do have to go to receptions and drink tax payers wine ~ It's a hard life.

At London City Hall for a Mayor's reception with my friend Rebecca

Just Another Reason

I apologise for my recent absence, it's my usual problem of trying to do slightly more stuff than I have time for.   In my life the stress comes not from what I do, but from what I fail to do.

But enough of all that, I have a concert coming up!

Rather a special concert!

It is the LGSO's 21st Birthday concert, we are not only celebrating 21 years of our existence, we are also celebrating 50 years since the decriminalisation in the UK of gay relations between men. We have commissioned a new piece "Natural Behaviour"  from the well regarded contemporary composer Michael Finnissy.   We will also be playing Stravinsky's Firebird and Rachmaninov's second symphony.   All this at St John's Smith Square, Great Music, Great Hall, Great Orchestra, what more could you want?

OK so you want some hunky men as well? I think we can help!

I couldn't resist

In case any of you in the further flung corners of the Globe (corners of the Globe! now there's a strange expression) haven't realised here in the UK we are in now in the final stages of a general election.   In theory we are a representative democracy with a Constitutional Monarch.   In theory we are electing a Member of Parliament who will represent our views in Parliament, in practise we are electing a Government and a Prime Minister.   I am quite sure that any one who knows me, or indeed anyone who visits Paula's Place will have a pretty good idea of my political views.   There are plenty of places where you can go to get political views and commentaries so I will not join in here, I will not tell you who to vote for, I will simply encourage you to vote.

Recent polls have shown that if the 18 - 30 year olds vote then we could have a very different result, so whether you are voting on

• How you will pay for your parents care,
• What sort of a state pension you will enjoy,
• What sort of treatment you will be able to get in what sort of hospital,
• What sort of education your children will get, or how university education is funded
• Whether you want to be protected by the Police or avoid being arrested by them, or simply
• Who is consistent, and honest enough (and likely to actually turn up) to lead a Government that has to negotiate a deal with the E.U.

What ever issues light you up, please, please please use your vote.   People died to give us the privilege to vote.   Even though we rejected what may have been a farer system, we do have the right to vote, at our last referendum we voted for the sovereignty of the United Kingdom Parliament and therefore us the people, the subjects of the UK, make use of that hard won sovereignty and vote.   We don't have to look far away, or far back into the past to see what happens when we leave it up to others.

Sorry, I tried to avoid politics, but I simply couldn't resist any longer!

Cartoon from 9 Chickweed Lane by my favourite cartoonist  Brooke McEldowney

So They Say

I've heard a lot recently about people denying the existence of Gender Non Binary ~ I have not seen any of these attacks myself but I can understand just how hurtful they might be for those who identify as non binary.   It is only recently that we have started to understand gender as a concept separate to physical sex, indeed when I was at school the two terms were considered to be interchangeable, so it should hardly be surprising that some people refuse to change their minds.

The very concept of Transgender is appalling to some people, so the idea of gender being a spectrum rather than a simple binary is just going to blow their minds.   I suspect that most of us accept the principle but struggle with the true understanding of how that feels, of course we do, how can any of us truly understand what we have not ourselves experienced.   I have some young friends who identify as non binary, or are moving towards that self understanding.   It has no real impact on any one except themselves, so why do some media types feel the need to express dissent?  Probably just to further their own career by exposing another minority to their bile, a minority that does not have legal or political support is an all too easy target for those who like to be seen as contentious.

Rather than simply give their views credence just because they are published, rather than get into pointless on line arguments that only serve to promote the hated view, maybe, just maybe, we should examine just who "these people" are, and what motivates their views.

Cartoons from 9 Chickweed Lane by Brook McEldowney

It's not always Easy

Although this started out as a Transgender Blog, it is an area of my life that I talk about less and less.   As my Wife has been known to comment "Not everything is about Gender", however it is often hard to relax and accept that even though I may not be everybody's idea of a "normal" woman this is me.   Increasingly I find that once I am up and going I rarely think about gender, just every now and then when I am struck with the incongruous.

When I am working I dress accordingly ~ jeans and sweater/ shirt or tee shirt ~ I do not wear make up or jewelry, it just wouldn't be sensible so when on occasion I am miss gendered I try to take it in my stride and not appear too offended.   But it does hurt, and when I am dressed up with the full shlap and sparkles then it really hurts!   It really hurts when people get my name wrong, and when it is deliberate I find it antagonistic, and I hate confrontations.

Perhaps I have been sending the wrong messages by not pulling people up when they get it wrong, maybe I have been sending the wrong messages by not writing about these things here; but generally I prefer to look on the up side and present a happy face.

The other morning I was sat at my dressing table and all I could see looking back at me was this old bloke, with big hands and thick muscular arms, it's difficult to explain how this feels, but it depresses, it undermines self confidence, it makes me want to hide and not go out; but work has to be done and life has to go on.   I pull on my big girl's pants and get on with it, then the episode of dysphoria passes and I get back to my normal fabulousness.

I'm having a course of facial electrolysis, which hurts, it also means that some hair has to be allowed to grow long enough to be pulled out. My next treatment is on Monday and I am having to allow the hair on my top lip grow, so it will look like I'm growing a moustache over the next few days, if you see me please don't ask, just pretend not to notice.

This and That

I woke up this morning to the news that our wonderful new Prime Minister thinks that GPs are not pulling their weight and should be available for 12 hours a day seven days a week.   Given that we are already several thousand GPs short of where we should be I wonder where these hours are going to come from.   Do I really want to see a Doctor who has already been working over 10 hours?   The Junior Doctors have been bludgeoned into submission, now it's the GPs turn.   I wonder why people would choose to go into the medical professions in this country at all.

Then there the terrible "documentary" on BBC the other night titled "Transgender Kids, Who Knows Best" this was a total travesty only serving to confuse the issues by giving way too much credence and air time to discredited doctors who have been removed from trans clinics because of their abusive practises ~ practises which are illegal in the UK!

I was feeling pretty depressed before the day had even started properly, I as tempted to stay in bed all day, but there were things that had to be done whether I felt like it or not, so I did get up.   I bumbled around the flat for a couple of hours before realising that I had only just enough time to get to the building society before it closed, and I needed to make a couple of transaction. Charging off in a hurry I just about made it in time, and the friendly greeting I got from the cashier made up for everything.   It was so nice to be greeted by name, told that she had missed me, her genuine smile made me feel wanted, and valued ~ they can't teach that in customer service school!

I can't say that I was so cheered up that I had a wonderful productive day, but I did manage a bit of cooking and spent the rest of the afternoon reading on line cartoons, and feeling a bit peeved that they have now managed to change the site I use so that I can't share the cartoons here anymore.

It should have been today

It's that time of year!

Most of us have had quite a lot of time off, one way or another.   By the very nature of my work this is a pretty quite time, add to that all the general festivities and I don't think most of my customers really want to see much of me around Christmas and the New Year.   What all that mean for me this year is that I stopped work on the 22nd December and planed to resume today.

I have not been idle during that time, I now have a new wash basin and a hot water system in my bathroom, and I expended a lot of energy watching my friend install them.   What should have been a fairly simple job turned into a bit of a nightmare thanks to the highly bodged plumbing and electrics that were there to start with.   I still want a new shower, but that will have to wait thanks to the money I had to spend on the van last month.   Anyway, after all this diversion today was the day I was planning to return to work.   So much for planning! The appointment I did have has been cancelled, and now it is raining so any of the outdoor work I have lined up will have to wait.

I think I will have to work at some more planning, this month I have a compost system to build and a fence to plan, maybe I should get on with tidying the flat up a bit as well, oh yes and fix the car and sort out the van and, and, and.......................

Being Honest

So by now most of you will have finished the turkey, worked through the pudding and will at least have made a decent impact on your Christmas cake.  I am now looking forward to the New Year, rather than back at Christmas, however that does also mean assessing how the year has gone.  Last year I tried not to make any resolutions, just some rather vague aspirations, I think I did quite well in many ways. I didn't manage everything I wanted to but I did manage many of them.   Mostly I am generally content with my lot, and none of us can really ask for more than that.

Of course 2016 was a pretty lousy year for many people, not least because of all the deaths, elections, natural disasters and stuff.   On a more personal level I suppose we have all had our challenges, family issues and I have not been immune to all of those.   But I have decided to look forward to the future rather than regret the past.  I cannot guarantee that this will be my last reflection on the past but over all I do want to be positive and so I am looking forward to 2017, I may not like the idea of leaving the EU, I may be worried about the new US President but there is still plenty to look forward to.

For one thing I no longer have to explain myself to any people who matter, all my friends and family are quite aware of my situation, and the vast majority are not only accepting but positively encouraging.   This means that I can just get on with life being honest to myself, without too much concern over what others may think.

But I want to do more than just be honest, I want to stand up for what I believe in, in politics, in human rights, over equality, and creativity.

I want to do more, see more, play more music, of course I would also like to lose weight become incredibly attractive and win the Premium Bond (I don't do the lottery), but maybe I will just carry on as before and continue to muddle my way through life.

Advent Calendar XXIV

So it seems as though 2016 hasn't finished with us yet, waking up this morning to the news that Carrie Fisher has had a serious heart attack, I pray for her survival, please do not let us lose another.  It is beginning to feel as though all the stars or influential people I grew up with are either dead or in prison!

I was very good yesterday, I now have all of my presents wrapped, and all of the cards that are going to get written, written.   Most have been delivered, and the remaining ones will be very soon.   I have made some chutney (by way of therapy) and cleaned the kitchen.   I have sufficient food and booze laid in to see me through to the new year, so now I can sit back and relax, and let others do the work.

I did make the mistake yesterday of "Popping out to the supermarket" to pick up a couple of things, traffic was appalling, parking challenging and the shop itself was heaving.   My heart goes out to all shop staff at this time of year, generally they seem to be cheerful yet so many customers are rude, rushed and selfish, why do we all panic and buy so much food, the shops are only shut for a couple of days?!

So now we have got to the point of only one sleep before Christmas Day! we have sent cards to people we either love, or feel we ought to. We have bought and wrapped presents for close friends and family.  In this day and age we have probably put up a post on Facebook (other social media are available) explaining why we haven't sent cards to other people.   We have bought too much food, we have probably got a little drunk at least once and are now looking forward to a blow out day tomorrow and then a pleasant restful few days off afterwards.

I wish you all joy at Christmas and throughout the coming new year.   But today the last word goes to The Meaning of Lila

Advent Calendar XXIII

Well we only have two sleeps to go before Christmas!   So I hope you are all better prepared than I am, I haven't bought all of my presents yet, and the ones I have bought aren't wrapped.  I have cards still to deliver, and bizarrely work still to get done.   I am so glad that once again I don't have to worry about catering this year, I will be spending Christmas day with a good friend so can put aside all concerns about turkey, puddings and mince pies.

Worrying about what to wear?

It does seem as though whatever my situation, occupation, or state of transition this is always a busy time of year when I struggle to get everything done that needs to be done.

It has been a very rare year when I have not been wrapping presents after Midnight Communion!   So my plan is to devote myself tonight and tomorrow to buying wrapping and delivering.   Only then can I start to worry about what I'm going to wear and do my nails.