I did a thing!

Today is the International Day of Transgender Visibility, so I think this is a good day to be honest. The last couple of months I have been struggling, for no apparent reason. I have been struggling to get up in the morning to do many of the simple things that we have to do just to get through life, washing up, laundry, house work, simple checks on finance etc. In consequence I have found myself in a bit of a mess. This by no means the first time I've been like this so I always used to think that I might be bipolar, but during this period I have had a few concerts, a trip to Paris and have completed a couple of my best arrangements yet.

I now think that I may be ADHD and that my "downs" are an aspect of that rather than full blown depression. Either way it is part of me and something I just have to deal with. It is nothing to do with my being trans, but it may well be something to do with my being a musician ~ I do seem to know a lot of musicians who are neuro diverse in one way or another.

One thing that always makes me "pull my socks up" and get on with life is performing. As one of life's natural show offs performing ~ being the centre of attention ~ is one of my big driving forces. Last night I had a performance, another go at Stand Up. I didn't feel very well prepared, I didn't manage to use many of the gags I had prepared but did use some I hadn't prepared. I'm not at all sure that my pacing was right, the delivery was certainly a bit laboured.

The concept was that I was meant to be the Easter Bunny, getting old, and worried because I had all my eggs in one basket. Maybe not my best, but I think I got away with it. But this morning I got up OK, have done a few things and am feeling as though I have more energy than I've had for ages. So for me maybe laughter really is the best medicine.

Video credit to Merlin Golder