I was inspired to write this by a visit to the dentist, tenuous I know but I couldn't help being reminded of the song "All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" The link will take you to a Version from one of my favourite performers ~ Goofy!
The train of thought took me on to the thoughts of what would I like? What would I really like? Not just a gift from one friend to another, but if I could have one wish granted what would it be ~ discounting the obvious philanthropic wishes for others ~ I realised how much has changed over the last couple of years. For most of my life I would have wished to have "this thing" taken away from me; indeed for many years I prayed fervently for just that. Of course "This Thing" is what I initially thought of as my drive, no, the imperative to cross dress as a woman. As I became more aware of myself, my nature, who I really am, I would still have wished to not be trans.
Now I know this thought annoys some people, but there were times when I would have given anything not to be trans. particularly when I found myself in the strange unsettled area, not in between but more like having a foot in both camps. I longed to be settled either as one or the other, the obvious choice being as a man to fit the body I had and the role society expected of me. Well, now I am settled, I am not convinced that a transition is ever finished, but I am settled. I have had all the medical interventions I want, these days I mostly just get on with my life and simply don't think about my gender much anymore.
I have much bigger concerns, health and wealth of course are the biggest, but that doesn't make me special these day, I would like to be a bit slimmer, it would be nice to have slightly more hair, and sure some Louboutans wouldn't go amiss, but that isn't what I would wish for now.
No, the single thing I would like most the thing I would wish for is to be able to play the piano! when I was younger I spent a lot of time and a lot of money working out that I couldn't play the piano. I did manage to get up to about a grade three standard, but it was always a battle. I was never actually playing the music at best it was only the instrument.
In situations like the one we find ourselves in once again it must indeed be a great blessing to be able to play the piano, I have certainly worked out that the Tuba is not a great solo instrument!
Playing the piano is definitely comforting and a good activity to enjoy during times of solitude. I had to give away my piano five years ago and miss playing. The violin just isn't the same. Perhaps it's not too late for you, though?!
ReplyDeleteI miss playing the piano ... It's a good activity for times of solitude. Not too late for you, though?
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting the Betty Boop pics. I look forward to them every Christmas. The juxtaposition of them with Goofy really sums up my female/male life, too. I used to sing my own version of the song: "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teets." :-)
ReplyDeleteThe drums are not really good for soloing, either. I have played many drum solos, but I have to say that I usually bore myself after a verse or two. I can plink and plunk on the piano, but I could never achieve the degree of proficiency where I would dare to play it professionally.
One of my favorite musician jokes:
A man went on a safari. The first night at the camp, he could hear the sound of drums playing from across the plain. The next morning, the drums were still pounding. With swollen eyes from lack of sleep, the man peeped out of the tent to see his guide making coffee at the campfire. "What's with the drums banging out all night?", he asked. The guide took a casual sip of his coffee, and answered, "You should be happy for drums still playing. Next comes Bass solo!"
Merry Christmas
I'd love to play the piano. Mind you, I'd love to be able to play any musical instrument, just like you!
ReplyDeleteThe tuba not a solo instrument? Herbie Flowers playing Mozart's Horn Concerto? (Sky, Mozart) :)
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